Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: Rollercoasterider on April 17, 2015, 11:32:59 AM
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I am considering changing the theme/skin of our forum so that it will better match the view of the main site.
This is part of a larger project and so I am not doing this immediately. Changing the theme here is just a small portion of the larger project; I'm working on a few smaller pieces at once right now.
I will likely have to have it custom built...
So I am interested in hearing from you.
What sort of features would you like to see here at the forum? Go all out and tell me your
ideas from simple to wild.
Some things may not be theme related and be about modifications/plugins instead, but I am often surprised at how themes are more than just about the external design.
An example of simple design related ideas I have is colour defaults, (I especially will request colours to match the main site), custom header image, top menu other than the forum specific menu.
Another simple idea might be to request side widgets. We could then list Meet-Ups here and maybe even get them off the main thread list--and they would be easy to find without making the sticky thread list too long.
Another side widget could be used for new important topics or popular threads...give me some more ideas regarding these! This thread is a good example of something that could go in a side widget--right now I may sticky it, but I'd rather have sticky topics for MLC-specific stuff rather than business and other periphery.
An example of wilder ideas might be topic icons: I would love it if you could all sort the thread list by topic icons--in case you wanted to see a specific topic type thread at the top--rather than being sorted by most recent posts. I don't know if that is too difficult or if it is something that is about the theme.
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Hi. Thank you for asking.
I would like a way to find a member's current thread by name. Now I go to search and look up name and then click on their posts. It is in date order, but you can't tell whose thread it is that they posted on, theirs or another persons, without reading it. Maybe there is a way to have the owner of the thread's name underneath.
Also, maybe a way to "follow" a particular LBS and be notified via email or something. Especially helpful for newbies. We all like to read Stayed and other veteran's posts.
And I think I speak for us all in saying you have changed so many lives by creating this forum. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.
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I think Willit has a good suggestion. I would also like to be able to locate a particular poster's threads. I become frustrated trying to find their personal one as opposed to ones that they have posted on.
Overall, this is an easy to navigate site. Would it be possible to have different colors on the story book logo for the different contact types? That way people can follow similar sitches to their own and how others are dealing with the crazy.
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I would like a way to find a member's current thread by name. Now I go to search and look up name and then click on their posts. It is in date order, but you can't tell whose thread it is that they posted on, theirs or another persons, without reading it. Maybe there is a way to have the owner of the thread's name underneath.
Great idea--there are two parts to this and one we can do now. I already have a tutorial for finding a specific user's threads (http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=1681.msg97607#msg97607). That shows how to find ALL topics started by someone (for which you have permission to see). The downside is that it does not know the difference between story threads and topics--so showing a topic icon with the search findings would be something to add to the list.
The second part is general search. And YES, that can be difficult as it is. I too would love some easier ways of searching--like a calendar could pop open and you could choose specific dates if you are looking for a post that you know was written sometime between two dates--cause the how many days ago function is silly--if I'm searching for something from about 3 years ago or something from June 2012, I don't want to calculate the number of days. Silly. And again, that doesn't show poster or icon and those are important pieces of information as well. Great idea.
In addition, I would like all topic icons to match the icon to the first post--as it is now individual posts can have their own icon and they default to the board default and not the thread starter icon; they either don't need to show an icon, or simply need to mirror the starting icon.
Also, maybe a way to "follow" a particular LBS and be notified via email or something. Especially helpful for newbies. We all like to read Stayed and other veteran's posts.
This is available now...BUT there is something buggy with it, We have a notification button and it works for many, but ironically I am one of the one (few or many I don't know) for whom it does not work. But I recommend you try it. Then make sure you have notifications set-up to email you through your profile.
Now I think that button is thread or even board specific--so you can be notified when there are new posts on a certain thread or board--the board option is important for moderators who can then see when we have posted something on the moderator board. It would be nice if the system could recognize a person's current story thread as their's--and past one's as well and maybe automatically add a post with a link to the new after a thread is locked and new one started and add a link to the bottom of the first post of the new with either the last thread or all story threads--perhaps this could be an option in the profile to choose to list all or only the most recent. To do this the system would need to recognize icons as having meaning--right now it doesn't know that we apply meaning to them. So you could follow a specific person (since the notification function doesn't work for me, I don't know if this is something it can already do) by their posts on their thread or when anyone posts on their thread or by when they post anywhere...that would be cool.
I need to learn to make video tutorials for all this too! :o
Would it be possible to have different colors on the story book logo for the different contact types? That way people can follow similar sitches to their own and how others are dealing with the crazy.
I can create more story icons--that part is easy. But right now that might be too confusing--especially for newbies.
I think the way to do it would be to eliminate the user groups I created (as a test) a few years ago for contact types and instead have it as part of the profile. Then the profiles would need to be synched to posting and an individual's icon could default to their contact type--the only story option would be their contact type. That would be pretty cool--because when I created those user groups my real vision was to have something that made it clear without having to click through to their profile. That's what the badges mod was for, but unfortunately it was buggy with other mods and as it works now can only show one badge--that of the primary member group. It would be nice if some of that profile information showed up on the side profile we see in every post--but not too much to make it glutted or confusing.
Awesome ideas and you have got me listing more..this way I have my thoughts and yours to provide to a designer when I get that far.
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My suggestion is, whatever you do, keep it simple.
One of the best things about the board is that it is simple. And has colours that do hurt, or confuse, the eye.
The main site has floating menus, I'm not much of a fan of those and they are probably not very good for mod duties.
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Nothing that takes forever to load, please. I am so frustrated that so many sites now take twice as long to load as they did five years ago.
Keep it ad free, if possible.
I like the current way I can change the colors on the site to suit myself.
I'd like some more smileys.
Thank you for asking. :)
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This may be against FB copyright laws, but a way to note an excellent informative post, like a rating. I'm thinking a "like" button, but that is my concern regarding copyright laws.
I've just encountered a gentleman who has been through MLC, wow, the information he has been sharing is amazing. I have shared one of his posts with a long time friend here on the site, they appreciated his comments, felt it was very insightful!
He is presently reviewing the article section here to see if what it says aligns with his experience. I had already shared site information with him; he hadn't read the articles at that time, but what he shared was 100% correct with RCR's information, just worded differently.
Hopefully we will speak again when he finishes his review this weekend. I will encourage him to post his story, he is a kind, wonderful person who would be more than willing to help others.
However, unlike most MLC'ers, he sought help and has worked through a lot of his issues. I feel everyone would be very impressed with this gentleman.
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Hi RC,
I was wondering if there could be a way of reading my replies under My Messages? I can read messages sent to me but I don't see my reply back to them, after I send it. Sometimes it's confusing because they will reply back a few days later and I have to scramble my brain trying to remember what I said.
Does that make sense?
Like when you reply to an email you can scroll down and see what you originally wrote.
Other than that I love the site. Very user friendly! :)
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Hi RC,
I was wondering if there could be a way of reading my replies under My Messages? I can read messages sent to me but I don't see my reply back to them, after I send it. Sometimes it's confusing because they will reply back a few days later and I have to scramble my brain trying to remember what I said.
Does that make sense?
Like when you reply to an email you can scroll down and see what you originally wrote.
Other than that I love the site. Very user friendly! :)
You need to check the save to outbox when you send a message, you can change it to always check the box in your settings.
I can help you if you can not figure it out.
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Hi RC,
I was wondering if there could be a way of reading my replies under My Messages? I can read messages sent to me but I don't see my reply back to them, after I send it. Sometimes it's confusing because they will reply back a few days later and I have to scramble my brain trying to remember what I said.
Does that make sense?
Like when you reply to an email you can scroll down and see what you originally wrote.
Other than that I love the site. Very user friendly! :)
You need to check the save to outbox when you send a message, you can change it to always check the box in your settings.
I can help you if you can not figure it out.
I just changed it for you, send me a PM to test it out!
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Well, that was quick, thank you I'll try it. : )
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Works perfect!! Thanks so much for changing it for me.
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Nothing that takes forever to load, please. I am so frustrated that so many sites now take twice as long to load as they did five years ago.
This is extremely important. The board is already often slow, if the new design/style takes forever to load, it will be almost impossible to use.
Again, it falls under the keep it simple. For me, a minimum of necessary features, a clean, simple design and easy to moderate features are all that is necessary.
Too many buttons, icons, features, clutter the vision and the usability of a site/board.
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This may be against FB copyright laws, but a way to note an excellent informative post, like a rating. I'm thinking a "like" button, but that is my concern regarding copyright laws.
I know sites like reddit and a few others do upvotes instead of likes if there is an issue with copyright.
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I'd love to see some other boards created for discussion instead of having the discussion all on our threads. It's too time consuming to looking through everyone's threads to find out about a topic, when a lot of things could just be posted as their own topic and we discuss there for all to see. For instance, boards like the level of "Our Community" only for things like other mental issues, and then have separate sub-boards for ADD, bipolar, AS, narcissism, etc. and then have another one for different types of MLC with sub-boards for clinging boomerangs, vanishers, etc. That way when you want to find threads about the trials and tribulations of a clinging boomerang, it's in it's own sub-board and you can see what's been asked and answered already, instead of asking it all over again on your own thread or searching for a useful tidbit here or there. I used to moderate a couple crafty boards and it was so much easier to learn about a sprcific topic and discuss it when everything was in it's own category.
I'd love other colors, as the mint green I see is bright to look at. I'd love a darker theme.
To solve the problem of finding people's own thread back, we could all just put a link to it in our siggy line.
I'd also love to see a "lounge" for off topic threads like cooking and other fun stuff...like MN's thread, only tamer. lol
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Fascinating just seeing the differing levels of techy experience and knowledge from the LBSers.
I think that some of us can cope with a complex multi talented board, buttons, likes, dislikes, smileys etc..... and some can't. Some have time to search and spend time on the board - I certainly did in the early days, I was addicted. Now I have less time and tend to post for a short while every few days.
The notify system works well although I agree that finding the thread via the profile posts is a little tedious.
I would like discussion threads on the different types of MLCers from clingers to vanishers as that is very often the info that newbies want more info on than perhaps the " correct" thing to do and focus on self. I would also like a sticky thread on self care and how you can really look after yourself.
However if there are too many "sub pages" the forum is in danger of being over complicated and some of us could get lost....
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I too would like a Search button to locate a specific poster. I find it tedious to go thru page upon page looking for a certain persons update. Other than that, I like this forum the way it is. Thanks for asking, RCR!
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So one of the main things I wanted when creating this board was ONE board (and the subscriber's board) for posting...no multiple boards for different topics. That is what I created the topic icons for instead. Why?
Well, not everyone works this way, but some do...they go to one board and don't bother looking around for stuff they can't see in the line-up--other than going to the next page.
At Divorcebusting I stayed on the MLC board unless someone came and asked me to look at something on another board.
I also agree that it would make it more complicated.
What I really want is for the topic icons to be sortable and searchable and if that can happen then I can see it fit to create more varied story-book icons for different types of MLCers.
I am compiling a document of plugins I would like created and this is one of my big dream requests--I don't know if it can be done. This is something I will hire out rather than even try and request on the board where they make free plugins.
I've also put in a request for more refined member searches--search byname, or certain profile fields--like MLCer type--which means that field will be added to the profile. Again, I don't know the difficulty or possibility of this, but it's a big one on my list.
So as it is now, for a discussion on contact type, that would use the Monster Icon and then the type would go in the title.
As for likes or upvotes, there should be no copyright issues, and this sort of plugin is common--I think there may even be a feature that is turned off for that--but I think it rates the person and I don't want this to be a popularity issue--I think what is built-in is something about a Karma function.
As for design colors, they need to match the blog and main site for branding consistency--so very light green background with the outer background (the part on the edges of your screen) medium light purple and most of the accents in the same darker versions of green and purple--mostly green. I would like it if I could put up the header/banner at the top. I just created a new banner that has the site name on one side and then varies on the other depending on the blog, forum or upcoming e-course site which is the big project I'm working on and why I am looking at all this other stuff right now.
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Well the user profiles are available now, to moderators and admins.
Couldnt you just change the permissions for other users?
Maybe restricting what can be seen?
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I'm not sure what forum software you're on, but most have a way of making several choices of your own themes and then you could do them all in your color scheme, but have a version that's a darker green and one that uses the purple. For instance, the color of green in the band that says Post Reply would be a great color, and then something other than the pale grey that is the post writing background...like a medium purple there. Then they would match your branding, but could be more user friendly than the current light colors we have.
For me, I have to turn down the brightness to be very dim to read this site because I am sensitive to light. I'd love an option to simply make the site itself be a darker color scheme so I don't have to always be switching my brightness. It's all the very light colors that make it hard to read.
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I've also put in a request for more refined member searches--search byname, or certain profile fields--like MLCer type--which means that field will be added to the profile. Again, I don't know the difficulty or possibility of this, but it's a big one on my list.
I second/third the request for this! I find it hard to find a particular person's posts. Also, New Replies to My Posts brings up every single thread I've posted on in last x months - a lot - it would be very handy to have Last Replies to Last 6 - 10 posts only, if that's technically possible.
Would love to be able to find people by type of MLC-er but also by length of stand.
And some kind of 'bookmark' faculty, to mark favourite threads/posters of the moment would be absolutely awesome.
How about an area where any progress on getting medical recognition for the condition could be flagged, along with news artless of relevance. I'd love to get involved in campaigning for wider understanding and would be prepared to lobby all sorts of bodies/people in the UK to this end. Also by joining organisations like Depression Alliance and Mind, and starting specific discussion threads to highlight MLC as contrasted to 'ordinary' depression.
A volunteer list maybe?
Thanks, RCR, for the wonderful site and its continual improvement.
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I'm not sure what forum software you're on, but most have a way of making several choices of your own themes and then you could do them all in your color scheme
in the upper right hand corner of the forum is a box with colors you can choose your color any time you want give it a try
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I'm not sure what forum software you're on, but most have a way of making several choices of your own themes and then you could do them all in your color scheme
in the upper right hand corner of the forum is a box with colors you can choose your color any time you want give it a try
Not seeing anything that looks like that. What is it labeled?
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I'm not sure what forum software you're on, but most have a way of making several choices of your own themes and then you could do them all in your color scheme
in the upper right hand corner of the forum is a box with colors you can choose your color any time you want give it a try
Not seeing anything that looks like that. What is it labeled?
If you look at the word Logout then go all the way to the far right of that their are little boxes that have color in them.
Click on one of the boxes besides the current color that you have selected.
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I'm not sure what forum software you're on, but most have a way of making several choices of your own themes and then you could do them all in your color scheme
in the upper right hand corner of the forum is a box with colors you can choose your color any time you want give it a try
Not seeing anything that looks like that. What is it labeled?
If you look at the word Logout then go all the way to the far right of that their are little boxes that have color in them.
Click on one of the boxes besides the current color that you have selected.
Found them! Thanks! Unfortunately, the light parts still show up pretty bright on the eyes, but for now, I found one that glows a little less intense than that green. Would love to see a darker option.
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OP, how do you make them stay the color picked?
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OP, how do you make them stay the color picked?
The best answer I can come up with for now is don't log out.
I will see if I can figure anything else out.
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I'm on my ipad so it just randomly signs me out, but usually there's a way to save it so when you're logged out, it's on the default look and when you sign in, it goes to what you picked.
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I'm on my ipad so it just randomly signs me out, but usually there's a way to save it so when you're logged out, it's on the default look and when you sign in, it goes to what you picked.
What color do you like?
I just changed it but I have a feeling I changed it for the entire forum(blue).
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Lol whoops! Personally, I like the grey one. It seems to be the most toned down.
Thank you for trying to fix it up for me!
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Well the user profiles are available now, to moderators and admins.
Couldnt you just change the permissions for other users?
Maybe restricting what can be seen?
Profiles have been available to members, but I did just change a few other permissions--now logged on members should see the Members button on the menus button above; this will take you to the entire list of members.
I also noticed that there was one checkbox in the notifications permission unchecked--and all others checked, so I changed that so all are checked--not sure what it was...maybe something about being notified about topics to which you have subscribed.
I changed a couple other permissions as well...so minor that even though I just did it, I can't recall which ones.
I'm not sure what forum software you're on, but most have a way of making several choices of your own themes and then you could do them all in your color scheme, but have a version that's a darker green and one that uses the purple. For instance, the color of green in the band that says Post Reply would be a great color, and then something other than the pale grey that is the post writing background...like a medium purple there. Then they would match your branding, but could be more user friendly than the current light colors we have.
This is a simple machines (SMF) forum. It's not like Wordpress where EVERYONE and their 2nd cousin's monkey's uncle knows what it is. It's well known, but not on the Wordpress level. People build their businesses around Wordpress--I don't just mean they use it to build their site like me, but they build supports (plug-ins et al.) to sell. WP is a lot more user friendly--it has an intuitive user interface. Some pieces of smf are that way, but not at the WP level. Themes in WP can be customized and there are plugins for further customizing them if the theme itself doesn't offer the customs desired. In SMF, as far as I have really been able to find the theme you select is what you get--you choose the color by choosing a theme in that color...not by getting to customize the color specifically once you set it up. In WP there is a place in my admin for my theme where I can customize, it SMF there is a place where I can upload it (and others), see the url path and choose which theme to use...but that is pretty much it.
For me, I have to turn down the brightness to be very dim to read this site because I am sensitive to light. I'd love an option to simply make the site itself be a darker color scheme so I don't have to always be switching my brightness. It's all the very light colors that make it hard to read.
Interesting...I am the exact opposite, though not merely for this site, but for everything. I am constantly having to turn up the brightness--it defaults to lower when I'm unplugged and keeps reverting if I step away for a moment or am not moving anything and just reading. I think a paid-for custom theme might cost more to have the option of choosing colors--like this one has, but maybe it could be done. Maybe just to switch the basic colors around.
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Hi, I'm not sure if this is something anyone else is interested in, but maybe we could have a book color or sticky topic for threads of LBSs that have successfully moved on from their R? I know it is a standing forum and that we all come here looking for hope to reconcile, but it is sometimes helpful for me to see lives that go on merrily even if reconciliation isn't possible.
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I too would like a Search button to locate a specific poster. I find it tedious to go thru page upon page looking for a certain persons update. Other than that, I like this forum the way it is. Thanks for asking, RCR!
OK so the forum is now the way you asked! - THANKS RCR!
The members button next to logout button.
You can search for members with this function and it also sortable.
Let me know if you have any questions.
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RCR, I've never heard of that one and I've been on various crafty and photography forums for like 15 years now. The most common ones are Invision Power Board or IPB and phpBB. Those you can get free skins and themes...and by that, I just mean custom color combos and such, although my favorite board used to have themes for all seasons and there was one we could pick that was sandy colored like a beach and had tropical plants around the edges. It was so pretty and easy on the eyes. The owner there had a theme like yours to match everything for the general public just coming in, but once you were in, then you could have your own look to see when you logged in. It was great fun for all of us when they released new freebies for us. We had like 15 to choose from.
Speaking of that forum, we had it so that nobody could see any posts unless they were registered. It felt a lot safer to post personal info. I worry here that we have a lot of personal info out there and it seems like it would be easy enough to stumble on to someone you know if you were suspicious of anything. Would it ever be possible to require logging in before the forum could be read?
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I would like discussion threads on the different types of MLCers from clingers to vanishers as that is very often the info that newbies want more info on than perhaps the " correct" thing to do and focus on self.
But we have them.
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=1536.0 - Boomerang
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=3368.0 - Vanishers
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=6231.0 - Clinging Boomerangs
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=305.0 - Off-and-On
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=5050.0 - The live in
MLCers
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=210.0 - Monster
They are all on the main board. It is just they are not sticky, but they exist.
I would also like a sticky thread on self care and how you can really look after yourself.
This is a good idea. We have several types of threads on the matter, some already archived, but not a single, immediatly visible one.
No sub-foruns. At least not for me. It becomes too confusing. Like RCR said, the topic icons allow us to know the difference between the several types of threads.
From a moderating, and tech work, point of view, the simpler, the better.
The current colours, that I see, quite smooth and not shinning/bright at all, are perfect for me. But I also have my screen set to not too bright.
How about an area where any progress on getting medical recognition for the condition could be flagged, along with news artless of relevance.
We don't have a specific area for those, but we also have several threads on those matters. Look in the main board and also on the Archived Topics section.
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RCR, I've never heard of that one and I've been on various crafty and photography forums for like 15 years now. The most common ones are Invision Power Board or IPB and phpBB.
SMF is on par with those. phpBB is also free and I first installed that when looking at forums in 2009, but it did not offer a subscription feature as part of the main package and to me plugins are not stable for such an important feature since someone might stop development as the forum upgrades through time. The skins and all that are basically the same sort of thing across the boards.
Speaking of that forum, we had it so that nobody could see any posts unless they were registered. It felt a lot safer to post personal info. I worry here that we have a lot of personal info out there and it seems like it would be easy enough to stumble on to someone you know if you were suspicious of anything. Would it ever be possible to require logging in before the forum could be read?
There is a board (http://www.midlifeclubforum.com/) that does this--just not mine. It is the board that goes with the book How to Survive Your Husband's Midlife Crisis (http://www.amazon.com/Survive-Your-Husbands-Midlife-Crisis/dp/098256175X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1432050695&sr=8-1&keywords=How+to+Survive+Your+Husband%27s+Midlife+Crisis). I have chosen not to do this because the lurkers who do not want to join--not even register--would not have access to the information and would not be further enticed into joining. I also have the Subscriber's Board for the purpose of greater security, but my main reason is because I want people to have the greater incentive to join by reading the similar stories and seeing the support they can receive.
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Not sure if this has been mentioned or not so sorry if I am repeating a suggestion.
I like that we are now able to identify whose thread it is by the little pencil icon - I would like to be able to see where the person posting is in their journey. Similar to the pencil icon maybe an icon indicating that the poster is in reconnection/reconciliation. Often I will look up there stats to see where they are or if they are reconnecting or not.
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Did we lose the "view new replies to your posts" and whatever the other option was that used to be located above our screen name? I have not had that show up the last couple times I logged in. Is it my ipad or the board?
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Did we lose the "view new replies to your posts" and whatever the other option was that used to be located above our screen name? I have not had that show up the last couple times I logged in. Is it my ipad or the board?
I am a little late answering this however, I think you pressed the wrong button if that is changed,to the right of the search box at the very top of the forum is an arrow - click on it and you should be fine.
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Just for every ones notice the forum is protected by a word censor.
If anyone uses foul language the censor will automatically change the words to something less offensive.
Please do not try to circumvent this feature as it can be reprogrammed to take those items into account.
I would like this place to remain safe for one and all to post.
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The forum has been down since last night.
Maybe it is just starting to come up again.
We will see how this post goes.
SO far so good.