Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: Thunder on January 14, 2016, 08:07:27 AM
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I'm just taking a survey here.
What age was your MLCer when BD happened?
Mine was:
Male - 46
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Male - 44 (a month before his 45th birthday)
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Wife was 38
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Mine is Male 44 (acts 17)
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Male 45
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44-gotta love those mid forties.
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I'll skew the results - W was 29.
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Male - BD just before his 41st bday, but anger started about a year earlier, just before his 40th bday.
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Mine was Male 49.
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50- he's always been in crisis.
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Male - 38
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Xw @ 36
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55
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BD 6 months from turning 50
Close male friend said he changed around 45
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W changed around 45. Coming up on her 50th birthday in February.
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Female 54
acted 15 when she left here. Regressed from there to 10 or 11
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Wife was 43, but she had started the cycle probably around when she turned 40. She took it hard. I noticed the dark lifeless eye look around the time she turned 42.
I'm 3 years older and poked fun and made playful old lady jokes, but she'd always playfully say she would always be younger than me.
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40's seem to be the more "average" age so far.....
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Adding to the average
Male--47 at BD (but the anger started in his early 40s).
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Mine was 44 at the earliest stage. 46 at final Split. Currently acts like a 17 or 18 year old and lives in the basement of a university student housing dorm.
J was 39. He is now 51 and a fairly finished Galapagos Turtle. He regressed to being a small child of 5 or 6 at the worst.
J ex wife is now 51 and acts like she is 21. She now wants to get a job so she can buy the clothes she likes without having to ask anyone's permission while still having the bills of daily life paid by daddy.
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Male 42 at BD year before said he was empty and nothing excited him anymore. Together since 16 and only sexual partner.
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Male 36 (two months before turning 37). He is now 46.
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It was in 2010 & he was four months shy of 40...
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Male 43 for BD yet as I look back and read more, may have started 1 - 3 years before or more.
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Mine is
Female - 39
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male 54 at BD
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Male 51
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Male- BD 45
Crappy behavior and shark eyes started right after his 42nd birthday.
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Male, 48 @ BD
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34. and no gradual descent into madness, it was an abrupt plunge.
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Male - 4 months shy of 50 at BD 2011.
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Women - 38 at BD
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Male 42
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Male 44 at BD-angry antics started a few years prior
Onlyjo
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Male - 42 (BD was 2 weeks after his 42nd birthday)
Behaviors started changing 18 - 24 moths before BD.
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Male 51
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Male; 55 at BD. Not really a 'mid' life crisis unless he's planning to live to 110.
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He was 39 at BD, but had at least 18 months of funk before, with the most visible signs of something wrong around the time of his high school reunion at 38. GAH! So typical! He'll be 44 next week. Looks like he's aged 20 years.
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Male, just before 40th birthday.
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My H was 44 at BD (about 4 years of increasingly scary rage before that). Returned at 46, half-cooked. He's now 48 and I think (slowly uncrossing fingers) that he's back to status quo ante. Mostly.
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W's l think began around 37ish but then ,so did her health problems, all our other problems and big stresses so to this day, l'm still not sure.
l think we could say l was also in the middle of my very own through that time too but at 48ish , it got pretty bad and l believe a yr or so later, mine actually brought on her bd at 39 for her.
Does any of that make sense ha , probably not but thems the numbers.
We'd lost both my parents over the 4yrs prior to bd but although of cause upsetting , l don't think it had anything to do with my mini mlc.
That was about my marriage and life.
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Mine was 40 , his Grandmother passed away in the August and he was 40 the following April , he started with all the what is life all about , what I have I achieved and the he purchases a sports car. We all joked and called it his MLC !!
How right we were !!
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My H was 41 at BD.
It was 9 months after his father's death.
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Male - BD at 50 ( days before turning 51)
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Male - 45 at BD. Moved our family halfway around the world to pursue his dreams of being the next Lawrence of Arabia or James Bond one month before his 42nd birthday. He turns 49 soon and is still wandering in the desert ...
So far (discounting a couple outliers at either end of the age spectrum):
Males:
36
37
38
39 - 4
40
41 - 2
42 - 3
43
44 - 4
45 - 4
46 - 2
47
49 - 3
50
51 - 3
Females:
36
37
38 - 2
39
43
45
51
54
55
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Wife was 42 at BD
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Husband was 54 at BD
He was 48 when we were married and all was well.
Was I just a part of an ongoing MLC he's been having? Bleckkkkk!!!
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Very interesting.
I know this is just coming from our group but it seems the women tend to go into their crisis at an earlier age.
If there is no number next to it, only one was reported
Women
29
36
37
38-2
39
42
43
45
54
55
Men
34
36
38
39
40-3
41-2
42-3
43
44-6
45-5
46-2
47
48
49
50-4
51-2
54-2
55
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Hope I'm not too late to add to your stats!
H was 46 at BD.
L&L
V x
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He was an oldie.....56
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Male 42.
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I'll keep adding these on and revise the list.
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Male -39 at bomb drop. He will be 42 next month. He is not aging well at all and his health is awful. MLC is definitely taking its toll.
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Female 42
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Just found this thread.
Exh was 40 at BD but his depression started at 38 when his business failed, so could be then.
As for pal, not sure, he has had many but he did buy a sports car when he was 40, which he has now sold because he could not afford it. Got told he had a heart problem at 30 which sent him a bit loopy, and now at 43 because of health and work issues but seems more depressed than a mlc start. Not sure when his anger really started as did not know him then, but I should say 30 possibly, although he has been depressed most of his life so many mlc??
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These were the results. I'll close the discussion now but found it very interesting. Thanks for all who participated. :)
Still looks like women go through their crisis at an earlier age from what I can tell.
If there is no number next to it, only one was reported
Women
29
36
37
38-2
39-2
42-2
43
45
54
55
Men
34
36
38
39-2
40-4
41-2
42-4
43
44-6
45-5
46-4
47
48
49
50-4
51-2
54-2
55
56