Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: Velika on August 31, 2016, 11:44:30 AM
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I don't know if there is a discussion thread on this already, but I was wondering what others have observed as any physical symptoms of MLC. (As opposed to behavioral.)
I would be particularly interested in hearing from those who have watched this play out over at least a couple of years to know if the physical changes correspond to behavioral changes.
I was motivated to start this thread as a friend recently told me that she had run into my husband (whom I haven't seen for four months) and he had aged about 10 years. Another friend saw him and said she did not notice this, but that he seemed edgy. My son told me he has gained weight. More than one person told me he seemed very nervous.
Aside from shark eyes, I noticed one eye seems ever-so-slightly droopy. I also noticed some bloated aspect to his appearance, or rapid aging, but this was not consistent. (If this can make any sense!)
My husband is a very extreme and high-energy MLCer. (Lots of monster, fast decisions, personality change.) Maybe low-energy has different "physical" aspect to it?
Please feel free to merge this thread if it is a duplicate.
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Definitely physical symptoms here with another high energy replayer.
Early on - extreme bowel changes (IBS-ish); diagnosed with diverticulitis and blocked kidney at the same time; B6 related? <-this is my guess, but I ain't a doctor! He was also more prone to biting his tongue/cheek when eating (like constantly!). Stutter and memory problems.
Also - ED; eyes changed color; vision problems; complained of "burning aura" that made it painful to be touched; frequent reddening of the skin, not related to sun; bumps on hands and back that scared him.
As it progressed - noticeable and sudden increase in aging; body odor; weight gain around middle and a more jowly appearance; sudden increase in body hair, thinning on his head; deepening of voice. Yes, I think testosterone plays a role!
Now? - If I see a picture of him and someone else is also in the picture that I don't know but looks similar (he is very generic now), I have to study features to tell which one he is.
I'll probably think of more, but the physical symptoms are astounding.
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The body odor!
I thought I was just imagining it but several LBS's have made similar comments - too many comments to be coincidence.
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Memory loss is big with my H and quick to anger also. Not really physical there, more psychological.
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Great topic.............
Mine started biting the inside of his mouth. Always told me he had a headache. Started gaining weight. No expression in his eyes at all. Never laughed anymore. Told me he couldn't sleep and always had heartburn.
Couldn't make a decision if his life depended on it. If he was asked too many questions by the girls, just everyday things he blew up and said he couldn't handle the pressure. ??? Became totally grey and hairline started to reseed. Started wearing clothes that were way too young for him. Actually bought a pair of vans, came downstairs and said, look at my new shoes. I said what, are you 3. Took them back to the store. Would CONSTANTLY lock his jaw. That one was kinda scary.
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Well, STBX has chronic gastroenteritis (aka the runs).
S22 says his eye bags have bags.
His beard is almost pure white, he is sallow, and his hair is thinning (rapid aging).
I think he's lost some weight, but when I saw him last week, I wasn't wearing my glasses, so I could be wrong there.
I will assume the shark eyes are still there. I never got close enough to see.
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Lost 40lbs, was not overweight before so pretty thin now, very noticeable on his 6'8 frame.
Complaints to his doctor include sleeplessness, panic attacks, headaches, fainting, paralysis (for a few minute after panic attacks), vomiting, the runs, hemmeroids, lack of appetite, and twice has become bed ridden with depression for a day at a time.
Shark eyes just goes without saying right?
The one I don't get and i don't think he has spoken to his doctor about is he seems to salivate excessively. When he talks to me, he is constantly having to spit, not something he ever did before. Wonder if that's a side effect of AD meds he is taking?
Sure sounds like a winner, doesn't he? OW is a lucky lady!!
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Velika, I think I am going to merge this thread with your running thread. Why? Because we all pretty much have noticed physical changes in our MLCer and have talked about it plenty in our threads.
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Leading up to BD lost weight. Became a restless sleeper and would grind his teeth and mumble in his sleep. Had shark eyes. A constant nervous cough.
After BD still had the shark eyes and the cough for a while but not any more. Gradually has gained a lot of weight. Puffy facial appearance at times. Still not the same light in his eyes as the H of old.
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Velika, I think I am going to merge this thread with your running thread. Why? Because we all pretty much have noticed physical changes in our MLCer and have talked about it plenty in our threads.
Anjae, I know but I thought a thread that highlighted just this might help identify patterns.
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Earlier on before BD, but definetely in the crisis:
Sleep problems, which he attributed to 80 +hours /week work schedule, he looked like a living ghost.
Approx. 40 pound weight loss, loss of appetite, gi issues, constant unrest, and aggressive anger. Memory and concentration problems. Chain smoking and experimenting with/using some exotic herbs/drugs.
After BD:
When OW was around very distorted facial exprssion, sometimes reminiscent of a sick and angry cat. The facial expression calmed down considerably after the breakup with OW, but anger persists, albeit not as intense as it used to be.
Sleep patters, from what I can tell improved. However gi issues are ongowing, as well as extreme irritability, and fatiigue. He used to be an outdoorsy kind, mountaineer, now can hardly walk 2 miles. Constantly complains of being tired.
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What does the odor smell like and when does it appear and disappear?
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Velika, that is one very strange thing I noticed, the body odor.
I know my H has always showered and wore clean clothes but there was a definite odd smell on him. Not a good smell like he had before. I used to love to wear something he had worn because it smelled like him. Now his clothes smell stale. Even after he washes them.
Very odd. The only thing I can come up with is hormonal changes.
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I noticed this too and it's a smell I was familiar with but couldn't figure out why.
Then I realized it - I have 3 brothers and I associate that particular smell with growing up with 3 teenage brothers!
I wonder if it's a hormone thing.
I swear I also read something about this somewhere, I think in one of Heart's Blessings writings.
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Yeah, like a faint boys locker room smell. Just odd.
I know he can't help it but sure hope it goes away.
If you ever find that article, let me know.
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The BO thing is not restricted to male MLC'ers....
Mine got to the point where it made my eyes water, a very rancid stale stress sweat odor, although she was very particular about washing herself and her clothes every day... . Combined with her perfume (which I used to love) it was a match made in Hades...
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So you noticed it too, huh UM?
It's like they smell different.
I think it has to be the alien who came down and took over their body.
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Before BD
Weight Loss
high sexual drive but Delayed Ejaculation (DE) or None (NE)
restlessness
irritable
hostile
memory loss
insomnia
High energy
High Blood Pressure
Right after BD
Weight fluctuation -He is always trying out new diets
high sexual drive but DE and/or NE (as he was cake eating in the beginning)
irritable
angry
sad
lots of crying
confusion on decisions
memory loss
High Blood Pressure - Controlled by medication
thining hair
High energy
18 months later
High energy
Weight Gain
Graying hair
Double chin getting worse
Gout on his big toe
recently had a root canal
arthritis
shark eyes
No emotion around me
Little to no emotion around children
unsure on DE or NE -But I've been told he watches a lot of porn (I guess OW21 is not enough)
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Velika, Ok for now. I think we have some thread about the matter, but, currently, the search icons are not visible (the board is still not 100% well) and that makes if harder to search for it. Currently I am also too tired to go look page by page in the Archives. If I find it, I will merge it with said thread.
I am not certain if other than looking tired, old, with dead eyes and for several bloated (mostly from drinking) the physical signs are similar.
Each MLCers seems to develop his/her own set of physical signs that go beyond the common themes. For many, things they used to suffer from when anxious/stressed seem to magnifie.
Mr J looked fine until mid 2009, minus the energy level that have go up by 1000. Then, he become too thin. Just skin and bone. Early 2010 he had gained a lot of weight and was blooted. Later he had hunched shoulders.
He seems to go back and forward in physical aspect changes, but mostly, towards the blooted. And I could not recognise him in court in 2014 Fall. My lawyer had to point him to me. He did not looked the same man. What he does not seem to have lost so far was the high energy.
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One thing to keep in mind is we do age....regardless of our circumstances.
I look at President Obama. He was relatively young when he came into office and almost 8 years later he has grayed.
But he probably would have any way.
My H was 46 when he when into his crisis. Yes, he has aged but that is quite normal after 5 1/2 years and being almost 53 years old.
I too have aged. We all do.
I don't think we can necessarily blame
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I think President Obama aged more because of his job. I have seen that happen to several politicians. He would age anyway, but the job and its demands took its toll.
Yes, people age, but not the way MLCer do. I have also aged. We all do. However, at least in Mr J case. It is strange. On rare ocassions, he goes back to look the same. And, for example, so far, his hair has not become grey. It is the same colour it was. And when he looks normal, he does look like his old normal self.
All that drinking he does has its effects. So does the lack of sleep and the crazy life. I suspect President Obama also does not get much sleep and is often called to be present in crisis situations. That ages a person.
We are not blamming, we are saying what we see. Mr J is still young. He was 36 when he left. He is now 46. And it is more than just aging. It is the gestures, the posture, the way of walk. It has all changed a while after BD. He become someone else. Not just someone who looks tired and bloated.
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Thanks Anjae!
I would be curious to hear if someone who comes out of MLC returns to looking more like they did before.
Also, Anjae, does Mr J act more like his old self when he looks like his old self?
Something that comes to mind is PMS. Most women don't look as good when they are PMSing. And many women look more attractive when they are ovulating. Maybe the looks have to do with testosterone?
Do women MLCers look better or worse? My SIL had a MLC. She now gets fillers in her face so it's hard to tell ... But I have seen some comments on male LBS forms about their MLC wives looking really good. Is this not right? (I know women have more tools like makeup.)
Anjae I think you are right that everyone ages but it is different. I saw someone on the bus the other day with a young boy. He shouted MLC to me but I couldn't put my finger on it. He wasn't in a convertible or with a younger woman. His face lacked definition but it was also his expression.
Anyhow ... I find the comments here interesting.
A final question. Are most MLCs preceded by rapid weight loss?
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V,
I saw my STBX in court today, this is the first in 9 months short of a 10 session for our ISC. He looked horrible, all the weight he lost he has gained back, bags under the eyes, eyes sunken, balding, his beard is almost all gray. He just looked old and sick, of course the shark eyes are still there. He still can't look at me. I actually felt sorry for him for a moment.
H is only 45.
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My H is ten years younger than I am, but looks older. No one knows I am 10 years older. His beard has gone grey, he shaves his head (looks terrible), but I'm pretty sure that is grey, too. Lost all muscle tone, stopped swimming or exercising at all. Smells just like S17. No joke. You can open either bedroom door and they smell identical.
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Hi Velika,
OK, as a guy with a female MLC'er, mine lost a lot of weight... She was always on the thin side but this was an unhealtthy thin - if I have to describe it, she had no butt at all anymore... her arms were sticks.
Now (8 months after ABD), she has gained nearly all of what she has lost back and looks similar to the way she did before except that in 8 months, she has a many more lines in her face which she tries to cover with makeup (to a limited degree of success). She has always colored the grey away but needs to do it much more often now.
I always found my W physically beautiful and the Body Snatcher is wearing her body so I have to say that I am NOT objective but, yes, she has aged much more than 8 months would have suggested...
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A couple of years before BD my wife was diagnosed with food allergies and had to quit eating wheat, soy, and corn. As a result we both changed to a much more healthy diet. I started running and working out about 15 months before BD and she would workout with me and walk the track while I ran. She told her sister that we were both getting in shape so that we could continue to be active for a long time while we grew old together. Anyway, she lost a lot of weight and looked really good when the om came around, soon followed by BD.
For the first few months after BD the only change I noticed when I would see her was that she was very high energy, almost hyper. As time went on, she started complaining she couldn't sleep, her complexion took on a yellowish cast, her hair looked very frizzy and dry, and she put back on more weight than she lost. She complained about stomach problems and headaches which probably occurred because she started eating like the pig she was with, basically anything and everything. Recently she's been complaining that she's having a lot of back pain and doesn't know if she's going to be able to continue working.
This next part has me wondering what's going on. For a long time she's seemed hesitant and uncomfortable at first when she would see me and then after a while she would start loosening up and enjoying herself. Recently we had a PM exchange where she basically told me she thought it would be nice if we talked more and I agreed. Since then she's been coming around more often and she's always in a good mood. She seems very comfortable with me now, even though the reason she's coming around is related to the divorce. She's also been spending a lot more time with D32 and the grandkids and the last time I saw her I realized that she looks better now than she has in a long time.
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This next part has me wondering what's going on. For a long time she's seemed hesitant and uncomfortable at first when she would see me and then after a while she would start loosening up and enjoying herself. Recently we had a PM exchange where she basically told me she thought it would be nice if we talked more and I agreed. Since then she's been coming around more often and she's always in a good mood. She seems very comfortable with me now, even though the reason she's coming around is related to the divorce. She's also been spending a lot more time with D32 and the grandkids and the last time I saw her I realized that she looks better now than she has in a long time.
MBIB, so it sounds like her improved behavior does correspond to improved appearance?
Also, I'm not as familiar with your story, but is she still with OM?
I started the gut health thread and also had the observation of gut issues prior to MLC, then radiant health/improved looks during bomb drop, followed by a decline/inconsistency. I even wondered if OM/OW served as a kind of "fecal transplant" initially to the MLCer (heh heh) but then ceased to prove medicinal as time wore on.
A funny observation, my own gut health improved dramatically when my husband moved out!
My husband also went on a dramatic weight loss/health regime before bomb drop. Since this is a common theme I wonder if there is something to this.
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My W has lost weight from not eating, not necessarily working out. However, I do have to admit that she looks amazing. She pours her money into her hair, nails, eyebrows, and clothing. She dresses conservatively/ business attire for work and athletic wear at home. Overall she looks great and believe me I try not to look. The last thing I want to do is feed that massive ego.
She always has been attractive so the emphasis on her looks really screams self esteem issues. She got plenty of attention from men prior to BD and I'm sure she is still getting it since.
Brunette to blonde and brown eyes to green. Throw in the use of her maiden name and she is trying to be someone else.
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I would be curious to hear if someone who comes out of MLC returns to looking more like they did before.
If you read the thread of those reconnecting or reconciled you will realise that, yes, MLCers go back to look like they used to (minus, of course, the normal age related aging). My cousin who had MLC went back to his normal look. In fact, he looks great.
Also, Anjae, does Mr J act more like his old self when he looks like his old self?
I have no idea. I do not see him in person. I have only seen photos of the past years.
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A few mths before bd , w lost a pile of weight.
After bd and moving out she also must have poured every spare cent into new hair every few wks, nails ,weight programs, clothes, gym , a personal trainer , the works, for the next 2 yrs..
She worked her arse of at gym twice a wk for a year but if you did her job you'd realize just how much that took , adding 2hrs of driving there and back on top. This is the first time in her life she's stuck to diets or gym longer than a few mths.
Why ? / Was it for om well,if you saw om and then saw w, uhhh, God knows why she would do that for a guy like this he must think it's Christmas with whatever shape she's in compared.
But in this last 8mths , all that's gone , she's even growing her hair long again. Her FB page is also wiped clean. No more quotes and posters or new philosophies on life and love, all gone, nothing , empty , just a pic of her, that's it. And she's been almost her old self mostly over a yr now but still volatile and moody.
But she's still with om and it appears stronger than ever.
So what does it all mean , l still have no idea .
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hawk, her changes could be because she's in a different stage of her crisis. They do transition. Go through a lot of changes. Sounds like her replay may be ending. Might be depression now if she is more moody and volatile.
But, as you said, not good to focus on them. :)
What I see is mine aging much more rapidly then I think is normal. He still looks good physically but much more graying and wrinkles on his face he never had before. Tired look in his eyes.
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I feel that Ben Affleck is poster child for what MLC does to a person's appearance:
http://www.justjared.com/2016/09/04/ben-affleck-takes-care-of-kids-while-estranged-jennifer-garner-is-at-film-festival/
Here he is in 2011:
http://m.zimbio.com/pictures/Wi2qvHehc6G/2011+Palm+Springs+International+Film+Festival/cagXuGETm3k/Ben+Affleck
This actually is very heartbreaking for me to see as I really can see so many of the same changes in my husband.
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What I see is mine aging much more rapidly then I think is normal. He still looks good physically but much more graying and wrinkles on his face he never had before. Tired look in his eyes.
Actually, that sounds like me too and I am NOT in an MLC... just the victim of one ;)
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UM, yes there is that.
We are under stress too and that probably ages us as well. :(
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Weird , l look 10 yrs younger and better than l did 10 yrs ago now.
Don't ask me how that happened l haven't done much, lost some weight maybe.
l'm amazed l don't look 20yrs older if anything, actually l'm amazed l'm not comfortably numb in an asylum somewhere tbh.
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Hawk, I went to the grocery store tonight. There's a young woman who works the register there who likes me. She's probably in her early thirties, attractive, and has a very nice personality. Whenever I see her she comes right over to talk to me.
I went through her register tonight when I was checking out. On Tuesdays the store has a senior citizen discount. She looked at me and asked "You're not over 55, are you?" When I told her I was she said "Wow. I would have never guessed. You look really good!" She got flustered after I said "Maybe I shouldn't have admitted it" and lost track of what she was doing. I think she was blushing, too. It was kind of cute.
But I think if my exterior was as ugly as my interior often feels people would run when they saw me coming. :P
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Well there you go b , a nice boost is always welcome l say.
But isn't it strange how we're the ones that go through this ugly thing yet the mlcers are the ones that seem to end up looking like sh@y. yet they're suppose to be all happy in their new life,
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If there's one thing I'm certain about, it's that they aren't happy. They may wear a happy mask and they may occasionally experience euphoria caused by their Replay activities but they're not happy, They're depressed, confused, irritable, angry, probably lonely, and feeling pain, guilt and shame and they're spending their time with loser OPs and their loser friends. It's no wonder they fall apart physically.
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XW went on diet pills and water pills 2 months before bomb drop, she lost about 40lbs within 6 months. I noticed that she was on WebMD looking up Hemorrhoids as she was having problems that required a doctor visit. She also had sores in her mouth and throat. I believe that was due to not drinking enough water. Here lately she looks to have put some of the weight back on.
Also, irritability and anger issues directed toward the boys as I have distanced from her and am not a target anymore.
She also show a lot more wrinkles in her forehead- due to weight loss?
No twinkle in her eyes and dark circles under them.
More frequent smoking. More trips to the casino.
In the past she refused to use public toilets, now she uses them frequently and is in there longer- doing #2 I assume, probably from having stomach issues that she told me about.
Skin rashes too.
She has been missing a lot of work or work will allow her to "work from home". I don't know how she keeps her job.
We had a talk about the boys and during this talk she had a finger in her mouth- I knew that this conversation wouldn't register in her mind and I stopped it immediately and left.
I've been told by 3 mutual friends that she has aged so much in the last year, I see it too.
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Do women MLCers look better or worse? My SIL had a MLC. She now gets fillers in her face so it's hard to tell ... But I have seen some comments on male LBS forms about their MLC wives looking really good. Is this not right? (I know women have more tools like makeup.)
I would say that my MLC W looks worse. I can see that the stress and turmoil have taken a toll. She has lost a lot of weight which she says is from exercising and eating healthier. I think she is too skinny and she always has dark circles under her eyes. She always mentions when she is with me that she doesn't sleep. She often times has sores on her face/mouth either acne or just from picking. She certainly has had some work done (Botox) to make herself look better but sometimes you can't hide the stress.
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When I saw H last month, his lack of vivaciousness struck me, in both his demeanor and his eyes. It was as if his soul were half-dead. It was disconcerting. I was wondering whether he took any recreational or psychotropic drugs but couldn't find any (found evidence of an OW instead).
Also, I noticed a similar change in his facial features than with Ben Affleck: I used to take drawing classes and sketched H frequently. His facial characteristics could be brought out by using straight lines. Now, there is much more roundness to his face, especially in the area of his cheeks, and his nose, too.
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Hers one i havent read yet.
My h used to complain that everything tasted soo salty.
Funny you mention the smell.. i just realized my room doesnt smell anymore. I would always tell h how it smelled. I would always wash the sheets.
As for the aging .Yep. Gray bloated . Looks tired. I think most is do to stress. Living 2 lives cant be easy. And the guilt. Their heads must spin at night,so how could they get good sleeep.
Stress can do alot.
Oh also my h was hypersexual before he left. Then i found viagra. Was getting that for a while but not for me. Not sure if he still uses it . But i think he does .
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The smell or odor is the most disturbing to me.
It lingers even after he washes his clothes and showers.
I truly think it's because of hormonal changes.
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I grew up with 3 brothers and I never lived with any boyfriends before H.
So when that musty "teenage" odor started to appear strongly in our bedroom as soon as we moved from our house to the apartment a few years ago, I just thought, "Oh, that's how men smell" and I also figured I was noticing it more for some reason because we had just moved to a new place and maybe it was just more noticeable there.
I just explained it away. But H had been going to the gym every day for years and it wasn't until then, when I figure his MLC was starting, that I really noticed the smell. It's like his sweat smelled different...stronger.
I agree, it seems very likely it could be due to hormonal changes.
He had also secretly started drinking then. I don't know exactly how much alcohol affects body odor, but I do remember reading somewhere that it does have some effect, something about how the alcohol breaks down and comes out your pores.
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The smell or odor is the most disturbing to me.
It lingers even after he washes his clothes and showers.
I truly think it's because of hormonal changes.
The smell was one the weirdest things for me. It never went away. It was there after he brushed his teeth, took a shower, clean clothes. It took me awhile to associate it with him.
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I grew up with 3 brothers and I never lived with any boyfriends before H.
So when that musty "teenage" odor started to appear strongly in our bedroom as soon as we moved from our house to the apartment a few years ago, I just thought, "Oh, that's how men smell" and I also figured I was noticing it more for some reason because we had just moved to a new place and maybe it was just more noticeable there.
I just explained it away. But H had been going to the gym every day for years and it wasn't until then, when I figure his MLC was starting, that I really noticed the smell. It's like his sweat smelled different...stronger.
I agree, it seems very likely it could be due to hormonal changes.
He had also secretly started drinking then. I don't know exactly how much alcohol affects body odor, but I do remember reading somewhere that it does have some effect, something about how the alcohol breaks down and comes out your pores.
I had explained it away too. I thought maybe the constant exercising was causing it, then I thought it could be the changes in his diet - I never considered drinking but something was definitely come out of his pores.
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I don't know about the drinking. My H never drinks, he's been sober for about 29 years.
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I have noticed the odor as well. My H drinks heavily and daily so not sure if the smell is more alcohol related. He smells very metallic. Also the sweating and acne are horrible. He also has issues with ED, I think. TMI WARNING FOR SAKE FOR CLARITY. very interested but seems like he may be literally having a heart attack during and after. he blames the enormous amount of weight gain. I think it's guilt added to that.
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I don't know about the drinking. My H never drinks, he's been sober for about 29 years.
My ex has also been sober for 16 -17 years now so I didn't think it was from drinking either. His dad actually asked me if he had started drinking again because of his behavior.
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This is an interesting thread I related to MrsCoco descriptions earlier in this thread. Like most illnesses there is some common like that is a precursor for a problem. We may not be able to prevent a MLC II think we are hoping to find a common remedy other than time!!!
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S4A,
xH'S brother actually asked him if he was on drugs due to his behavior. He asked me as well. XH can barely drink a whole beer and has never been drunk in his life. But I can completely see how to an outsider, it appears to be a reasonable conclusion due to the erratic behavior.
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this has got to be an organic Illness....Too many similarities with everyones MLC"er. the Cold dead Shark eyes,The Smells,the pacing around like a Kook,ALL of it.
its still a shocker sometimes.I am 3 years post BD this month :/ And while ive saw some small SMALL progress. Hes still Deep in it. with the same ole Nasty he ran off with.
he was a clinging boomeranger.but hes weaned himself off of it all and is now mostly a vanisher. although I get a text most days I still consider him a vanisher...Have not laid eyes on the man in 6 months.
People comment tho on how very bad he looks.....
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Kat, I agree.
I posted something to neurology thread others may find interesting. It is about a specific region of the brain and what happens if it is damaged. The description is identical to MLC.
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=7709.msg535684#msg535684
I haven't had time to research causal links but was honestly amazed by what I read.
Is the smell like vinegar? Like cheese?
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velika,
My H was a heavy drinker the second half of the marriage,im talking about the hard stuff. I found bottles and bottles hid everywhere after he left.
Im thinking it did and has hurt his brain. How could it not? alcohol, Hormonal Changes,Stress, I could go on. He was always a bit selfish and self absorbed,but the total lack of respect, and the Pure Hurt he caused his family.....that's not my H
funny thing is his dad AND his dads Father all did the same thing. around the same time in age.you cant tell me that's coincidence either.
When his Father left his Mom. he was 27 (same age as our daughter was) and he Physically Broke down and sobbed like a baby. saying how could his father do that.He could never leave His family that way,............ :(
The smell,hmmm Adolescent male comes to mind. my sons Bedroom smelled the same. BO, Alcohol, Just Ughhh.
it was Def not my Husbands Normal smell..... :-[
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No V, it's kind of like BO..like a teenager that has not taken care of their hygiene.
So very hard to describe. I can't tell you how bad I feel saying this.
My X has always been very physically clean. Always smelled good. Even when he ran and sweated it was a pleasant, musky, manly smell.
I love sweat on a guy (call me crazy).
This is different.
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Upper back and neck pain, headaches, vision worsened, those damn shark eyes, high blood pressure, gastric reflux, low T, balding, weight gain
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Ok, this may be interesting to everyone!
We were out walking the dogs today. My X ran 9 miles the day before.
He told me after he ran he was bothered by his BO smell. Said it was really bad. :o
He said it's funny but he noticed his body odor was really bad after his run.
He said he never smelled from BO like he did yesterday.
After what we were talking about I was really surprised.
He told me he has never noticed this before. He said even when he sweated before after exercising he never had this problem.
He said he was eating more junk food lately and maybe that was the reason.
I said to him..I suppose that could be but I also think it could be from hormones.
Sometimes a change in hormones can do that to you.
Nothing more was said but I had to share that with you guys because we were just discussing this.
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Freaked me out that HE is noticing.
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That IS interesting...
I've often heard that most people do not recognize their own odor.. The fact that he did says that it is somehow "different" to what he is used to (the olfactory nerve tends to block things after a certain level of exposure... )
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I always notice mine after a long run but quite often I'm literally soaked. It's odd that he noticed it the day after he ran.
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MB,
He talked about it the next day but noticed it after he ran that day.
It's odd but it must have really bothered him to bring it up.