Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: Roma on September 05, 2016, 10:30:39 AM
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Being as though MLC is not recognized as an official mental health disorder, I'm having a hard time finding a therapist or counselor for myself as the LBS and as is my MLC H who is really doing his best to move through his MLC as positively as possible.
How did you find yours? Is there a specific site that can point us to the right direction?
What about if you know any site or resource for the MLCer? Please let me or anyone else know how you found yours or one for your MLCer, I'd really appreciate it.
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I just made sure to ask if mine believed in it, and I made sure she was promarriage. Turns out she didn't recognize MLC quite as we do, but she was as helpful as possible.
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I would try to find a therapy "group" that offers a variety of types of practitioners, including a psychiatrist. Many of these will do intakes and try to match you with a good fit. Search online reviews for group with high ratings.
Don't be shy about what you are looking for and the outcome you want. Be just as specific about what you don't want.
I think an advantage of a group is that it shows the therapist gets along with others and is professionally respected. To be honest, I think a lot of therapists have more problems than their patients.
This is not to say a therapist with a private practice is a bad idea, just find someone who has recent and consistent online reviews.
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I think it's important that there is a good fit between client & therapist. Individual therapist problems don't mean they can't be effective for you. Important that they not try to impose their views. I was very discouraged by the people I found locally (I am a therapist myself). I ended up with phone therapy with Jed Diamond who wrote a book about make MLC. It's expensive but very worth it because he supports my stand but still challenges my thoughts and assumptions. I also found a fantastic marriage coach through the mort fertel program. She saved my sanity in the early days after BD.
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I was so lucky, I started counseling for me but within the first visit my counselor nailed it. Up to then, I thought that MCL was just something that someone labeled another person with when they were acting like a child. I thank God all the time that I found her.
FH
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I continue to go to the same therapist I've had pre BD. She saw both me and H together for a period of time. So she knows my H somewhat. She's an Imago therapist. You can google Imago and find out more about it.