Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: UnbrokenLioness on February 12, 2017, 08:04:21 AM
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I am so thankful for HS. :) This forum and the information contained within has helped me so much. I only wish that I had found it sooner.
I am saddened for those lbs with mlcers who seem lost to them right now. I am happy for those whose spouses were able to come through and come back to them.
For the mlcers still going through with their journey, I am empathetic. For the mlcers who pulled through and were able to reconnect/ reconcile, I applaud you.
I would like to see how HS has helped others as well :)
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HS kept me grounded. It gave me information on a situation that I had no idea how to handle. If it wasn't for HS I know I would probably be divorced by now. It allowed me to breathe and keep calm when things were crazy and it allowed me to see his actions through a different lens. A lot of people outside of here didn't agree with what I was doing, but I could always come here and and get relief. It changed me in many ways and I believe those changes were for the good. It helped me cope. I'm forever grateful to HS and the people who give their time and attention to those of us who have been touched by MLC.
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I would not be standing if it were not for the articles on HS and HB. I would have thought my husband lost his mind and left him. I understood what he felt he needed to do and that was something I could accept. But the HOW is so horrible that knowing this is basically a script they are stuck following in spite of themselves gives me the ability to be patient and compassionate and not hold it against him personally in the long run. Each day is still a huge challenge but understanding the big picture is what sustains me for the long haul. The strategies and advice are also invaluable.
As for the forum, it provides me with food for thought and ways of looking at things that I might not otherwise thought of on my own. But it is really the articles that guide my actions.
While everyone here says there's nothing we can do to save our marriage, I think it would take dumb luck to manage to save a marriage without the advice here. I do think people who survive this are doing something to help it along, but there just isn't any empirical evidence or studies to say what it is exactly.