Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses

Midlife Crisis => Our Community => Topic started by: Rollercoasterider on April 15, 2015, 11:03:35 AM

Title: Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
Post by: Rollercoasterider on April 15, 2015, 11:03:35 AM
Sometimes life is short and death unexpected. This thread is where I will post the sad news of the loss of LBSs or MLCers.
Title: Re: Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
Post by: Rollercoasterider on April 15, 2015, 11:05:20 AM
It is with a heavy heart that I confirm the news of Sunny's sudden death.
We do not have details as it is my understanding there will be an autopsy.

The graceful manner in which Sunny has handled her journey as a Left Behind Spouse is an example for us all. She started out so depressed that she was suicidal and though still facing depression at times, she embraced life and dug more deeply into Mirror Work than even many LBSs—so much that she was attending school to become a counselor.
Her death seems to have come at a time when she was figuring herself out and loving herself. This was especially impressive because as she was embracing the joy of life, the other parts of her life (not just her MLCer) were continuing to present significant challenge...financial, employment, housing... She continued her march toward personal fulfillment and understanding amidst all the challenges and is someone from whom we could all take lessons.
She was not putting her life on hold and what a blessing that is...because we do not know if today will be our last. Live each day with joy even when there is sadness and trauma. Live each day with gratitude and you will feel its blessings. I think Sunny felt the blessings.

Feel free to continue to post your memories and thoughts of and for Sunny on this thread which showcases the grace of her journey.

To respond, please go to Sunny's thread--it is linked with my name in the quote box above.
Title: Re: Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
Post by: Rollercoasterider on April 17, 2015, 04:39:21 PM
My husband died today.  I was never informed by OW nor did she inform his only brother.  She had someone from the UK post it on FB.  I found out hours later from a friend in Hungary who wrote and asked if the news was true...  I have no words for this woman.  Now the struggle to get his body back to Germany for burial and a death certificate issued. 

I do not look forward to the chaos awaiting me ...

I just want to thank the Hero's Spouse forum for existing and getting me through this nightmare. 
And thanks to all on here that helped me along the way.
SSG's husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer in August of last year--2014. Many of you have offered condolences already. If you would like to offer more or have not yet, you may respond on her story thread.


MLC is a terrible thing, but even moreso when life ends in its midst and the MLCer does not get the opportunity to come through to the other side and the LBS loses not so much the chance of reconciliation, but the future with the core person he or she married. A MLC may have even been part of the cancer supposing advanced stages...even more tragic.
Title: Re: Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
Post by: OldPilot on July 20, 2015, 06:52:43 AM
BowingoutGracefully RIP.

Yes I can confirm that he passed away this weekend
from injuries sustained in a motorcycle accident from the morning of 17 July 2015.
The accident is still being investigated to find the cause of it.

Please post anything you like on his thread

Title: Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
Post by: Phoenix on June 06, 2016, 06:31:32 AM
It is with deep sadness that we announce that, to the best of our knowledge and what we have been able to ascertain, Coffeedrinker6 has lost her battle with cancer.

CD, as she was affectionately called, was a courageous inspiration as she navigated the MLC of her spouse of nearly 4 decades, while simultaneously battling cancer that spread to her brain. Through it all, she was indomitable and funny. None who read her thread will forget, for example, that she wore stockings and garters under her dress to court because her husband used to like that. Even though he couldn't see them, CD6 knew and she felt empowered and a little "wicked" as she put it in her sweet funny way.

It is more than any person should have to endure to manage all that comes with MLC and the loss of a partner she had for two-thirds of her life, but to do that in the face of terminal cancer and have the strength and wherewithal to also negotiate the best financial outcome she could to leave an inheritance for her children and grandchildren, is nothing short of extraordinary.

We were all so very happy when CD was able to do some traveling with her family, spending time making beautiful memories. She also put together memory books for each to have after she was gone. Coffeedrinker was dignity, grace, strength, and family-love personified. Her memory will live on and she will continue to serve as an inspiration to those of us on the forum and beyond.

If you are feeling like you can't get up today, or you wonder how to go on, take even one step in a positive direction for your sake and in honor of CD. Have a cup of her beloved coffee and toast her, consider a donation to cancer research or hospice, or just look up at the sky this evening and know that among the stars she shines still.

If you wish to remember CD, you are welcome to do so on her thread at:

Title: Re: Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
Post by: OldPilot on October 27, 2016, 06:31:45 AM
Although most people here do not know this person I am mourning the loss of a friend that I met on DB.
I truly must say that life is short and we must all live it to the fullest.
Don't waste TIME waiting for your MLC'er, get on living YOUR life.
The following is true.

This was posted on DB by me.

It is with a heavy heart that I pass along this information.
This morning at around 3am. Our friend Jack 3 Beans (for those of you who did not know him well) passed away.
This world....will never be the same again. The world has really lost one of the good guys.

I am using the words above of Ericmsant2 as I am really at a loss of what to say.

RIP dear friend the DB world will mourn your loss.
It was a pleasure meeting you and an honor to call you my friend.

Title: Re: Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
Post by: Phoenix on October 27, 2016, 06:43:54 AM
My thoughts are with you, OP. I am so sorry for the loss of your friend.
Title: Re: Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
Post by: lawprofessor on October 27, 2016, 05:20:26 PM
I'm so sorry to hear this.  I truly liked and respected Jack.  His wise council will be greatly missed.
Title: Re: Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
Post by: Bailmor on December 28, 2016, 01:19:53 PM
To all, I am sorry to have to report this around the holidays but I read on Facebook this afternoon that a HS member passed away suddenly in his sleep early this morning.  He is listed at "Junior 1975".  Junior was a mentee of mine a couple years back and we have kept in touch through Facebook.  He had to deal with losing a leg to diabetes years ago and had to go through dialysis on a routine basis.  He left behind four children and a grandchild.  He lived life to the fullest and didn;t let his XW's MLC hold him back.  Please keep him and his children in your prayers through this difficult time!  Godspeed Junior!

Link to his thread
Title: Re: Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
Post by: OldPilot on October 24, 2019, 05:14:03 AM
This was just passed to me and I will post it here.
I think I will leave his real name in here.
Any questions or comments please PM me.

Phil Fahey passed away June 5th this year from "congestive heart failure". I believe his board name was pascale666 / Gillies9. He was from central NJ, retired police officer. Pretty sure he got banned or was on limited posting towards the end of his tenure here. I'm sure you remember him;  a lot of anger and lashing out due to personal turmoil.

I was notified by former member elray who received word from Phil's oldest son. Phil and elray had become very close friends and visited regularly. I never met Phil,  but have met and had dinner with elray 2-3 times;  I spoke with Phil several times via phone,  but had been a while prior to his death.  Phil did eventually divorce and from my understanding  had actually improved and was starting to enjoy his life again. Was sad to hear of his passing,  and at a time when he seemed to finally be getting peace.
Title: Re: Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
Post by: Thunder on October 24, 2019, 07:10:23 AM
That's sad to hear, OP.  Thank you for letting us know.
I remember his name but I don't know if I ever posted to him.

Please let El know I'm sorry he lost a friend.