Skip to main content

Recent Posts

21
Just got this text from W.  I wonder if OM is starting to pressure her.

W:
Just wanted to check with you to see if you would be interested in doing mediation together instead of both getting lawyers.

Mediation would be $3000-5000 approx and if we each got a lawyer it would be $6000-9000/10000

I am sending this over text as I didn't want to start an argument in person (how bold of her)

Let me know if you would like to have a conversation about this and we can talk about it.

ME:
I'm not interested in doing anything at this time.

W:
Ok

Did I do okay?  Any tips?
22
Our Community / Beauty into Beast 18
« Latest by Acorn on Today at 08:56:10 AM »
Atta girl, Mort!

What an accomplishment.  Especially considering all other things going on in your life. 

I’m so very proud of you.

(((((HUGS))))))
23
Our Community / Beauty into Beast 18
« Latest by UrsaMajor on Today at 07:00:34 AM »
Hey Mort,

Congratulations on getting the sheepskin! Well done!

As for Beast... well.... what is there to say.... besides he isn't even blood rare cooked yet.... Still in teenage lala land.....

Screen addiction is a real thing too... He is too busy living in a fantasy world so he doesn't have to deal with the real one because he's turned it into a total $#!tshow.... and dealing with it would mean 1) accepting responsibility for his actions and 2) dealing with the consequences of his actions.... Neiother of which a Midlifer is ready to do until they are ready to grow up and leave Schmoopieland....
24
Our Community / Full Moon Alert VI
« Latest by UrsaMajor on Today at 06:50:08 AM »
Don't know about that one but I seem to remember that there is a lunar (Penumbral) eclipse...

However...... for tonight.....

========================================================

Tonight is the Full Frost Moon, so called because the frost and ice will start to set in as the earth grows colder, animals will start to hibernate for the winter months, the last leaves will fall from the trees and the land will become barren. The Moon is in the sign Gemini. We are amidst some strong planetary alignments that are heralding a need for profound change and revolution inside and out. Our attitude is of foremost importance during this time and can empower us and see us through whatever we are facing. Gratitude for what we have and a willingness to move with the energy that is calling is required.

This particular Full Moon will not be boring and will have an unpredictable vibe along with it. The places we have been feeling stuck in our lives may suddenly begin to move or shift. If emotions are clogged, they may surface and flow, let them, don't hold anything in, let your emotions out. The Gemini Full Moon will be filled with raw emotions. Everyone is going to feel it on some level. You can feel your emotions go from high to low to all over the place. We may have trouble sleeping and experience wild and vivid dreams but don't worry as this will pass over the next few days. Be aware of dualistic thoughts, emotions and behaviours, this may be generating a lot of mental stress and tension plus sending out mixed signals to others and the universe. Try to stay grounded and find a balance. Finances are illuminated on this Full Moon, to watch what we are spending and to improve or bring in any extra income.

Tonight's Full Moon brings change, we are coming to the end of the year with Yule and the New Year fast approaching we must become empowered to make the changes necessary to shift our situation. It is up to us and the time is now. We must let go and surrender to the deeper current that is transforming us. You are the master of your destiny. Take your power back from society and other people. Learn from your past mistakes. Vow to do better next year. Make a commitment to your success. Be adaptable. Make friends with change. It is not the enemy. Change is your friend. Change sheds the old and gives birth to the new.

This Full Moon is about communication, higher learning and our sense of creativity and adventure. Something has been building inside of us and now is the time when the energy of the cosmos demands that we let it out. We are magnets to our desire right now, we have the power to attract what we want toward us. Gemini is the sign of work, creativity and learning, this will give us a boost in mind power, we will be able to see things more clearly, we will see our own truths and a fog will be lifted that can show us a path that can lead us into improving ourselves both spiritually and mentally.

This Full Moon look into yourself and ask yourself what you need to move forward, ask yourself how you are going to achieve this and ask yourself if you feel that you are strong enough to do this. If you feel that you are not strong enough, use the energy of this Full Moon to heal and gain strength. Ask for guidance and to lead the way to a more positive and happier life. Tonight is a good time to determine just what you value and want to stand for, what you want to create in your life and carry forth into the next cycle of your evolution.

25
Our Community / Beauty into Beast 18
« Latest by Seahorse on Today at 06:25:08 AM »
Beauty -
Nice update, and I also am proud of you.
I would certainly hang that degree in a spot of prominence in your house.
Great accomplishment under certain times of stress.  Bravo!

Also good mothering to let your growing daughter make her choices - with your input and slight control.  Good balance in my eyes.

Well, for beast..  He's still not ready to grow up.
Video games have always been a problem for him, IIRC. 
Any chance to get him into addiction counseling - (I realize he doesn't think he has a problem, of any kind...)
The avoidance of his work kind of really irked me because I see that temptation in my S22 and it drives me crazy!

Keep up the good work and let us know how it's going.

Sea
26
Our Community / BRAND NEW MAN 9
« Latest by Watcher on Today at 05:39:57 AM »
Rain falls this morning over NYC as I slip into the despair of my depression....LOL, not really but it is raining today. Well today is a rest day anyway.

On Saturday I felt everyday of being 48 yrs old after that 10 mile run and I think I slept the entire day afterwards as my body was just exhausted. I think the fresh covid free air knocked me out.

So I was watching Admiral McRaven's motivational speech from a University of Texas graduation from a few years ago. He tells a story about his Navy Seals days and how difficult it is to pass Buds training. There is a bell at the training compound and all one has to do to stop all their pain and suffering is ring that bell.

Admiral McRaven advises everyone never to ring that bell. So naturally I ran 10 miles again yesterday bringing me to 1,053.98 miles. The sun was out however it was still cool. I didn't have to sleep the day away yesterday but I wasn't happy with waking up at 5am this morning.

Yesterday's sighting was a beautiful hornets nest dangling precariously from a tree limb over the canal. More symbolism. Don't stir the hornets and leave it alone. It can get nasty if you poke that nest of MLCers. Although one strong wind and those MLCers are drowning in rock bottom.

Now I was reading where the hornets nest is constructed from chewed wood and saliva. It almost looks like a small paper globe. I stayed on the canal yesterday because its the weekend and I wanted to avoid any contaminated humans.

My run days are Tues, Thurs, Fri this week so it will be safe to venture back to the beach since its midweek. The sun will be out but thats the only positive from living in the northeast as we enter December. This can still be a good month.

The horror sisters are January and February. The absolute worse 2 months ever born. January is just awful and February could have a good day or two if I am lucky.

Well its still quiet so we will see if anything pops this week.

Enjoy your day everyone.
27
Our Community / I'm getting off the rollercoaster.
« Latest by tinnat on Today at 05:36:46 AM »
Just remember that Christmas isn't about gifts or celebrations. It is about hope and love. Your h shares neither with you or his kids.

Oh my, so many words of wisdom today, but this one is a true gem. Thank you.   
28
Our Community / I'm getting off the rollercoaster.
« Latest by readytofixmyselffirst on Today at 05:31:26 AM »
Hello,

Quote
The only reason I mention it is bc sometimes understanding how we can most easily be 'played' can make it easier to sidestep it.

This is a great piece of advice. Treasur's last post was amazing.

Just remember that Christmas isn't about gifts or celebrations. It is about hope and love. Your h shares neither with you or his kids.

((((Ready))))
29
Our Community / Beauty into Beast 18
« Latest by readytofixmyselffirst on Today at 05:11:20 AM »
Hello,

Congratulations on your graduation. It is a special moment and I am so proud for you. It is a lot of work and a special accomplishment. I've got my Ed.D. on the wall prominently in the living room. LOL

What type of car do you have? The price seems very high to replace the motor. The price for one motor is between $40.00 to $90.00. The job itself is a little complicated but an experienced mechanic could easily complete the job in an hour or less. My estimate for such a job would be $500.00 if completed at a dealership and about $400.00 from a local mechanic and I think I am a little on the high side. So yes, the price is steep for you.

Sorry that Beast decided to leave one job for another thinking that he had found his new "career" in the delivery business. I know a few UPS guys and they work themselves to death. During the holidays, 13 hours is a short shift. LOL. I guess Beast is now going to try and make a living as a gamer.

Well, at least you are on the path to independence. It is a good feeling to have. Well, I better get ready for work, or I will join Beast at the unemployment line. Have a great day and enjoy your great accomplishment.

(((((Ready)))))

30
Nas, you took the words from my mouth. Everything you said about your H not ever having loved you but having his needs met through you, is exactly how I now feel about my H. And I also think that my H doesn't really love OW but is simply getting his current needs met. He can't love anyone authentically.

Beautiful quote from Marvin.

Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.