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91
Our Community / Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 4
« Last post by 31andcounting on Today at 01:25:48 PM »
Glad to hear the dinner went so well and yes memory lane probably hit H hard!
Too bad H!   No doubt it will be a big loss if he moves! 
Reality is right in front of him!

(hugs)
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92
Our Community / Re: The Beautiful Things We Miss
« Last post by FaithWalker on Today at 01:25:21 PM »
Thank you KIT.  I didn't take any more passengers the rest of the festival, so that was just definitely being in the right place at the right time.

SB, I had a good time but I'm recouping today.  I worked 4pm to midnight on Thu (8 hours), 2pm to 11:30pm on Fri (9 1/2 hours), 2pm to 12:30am on Sat (10 1/2 hours), and last night I worked 2pm until 9:45pm, when I finally got out of there and got my kiddos, it was about 10:40.  I would go to bed between 2am and 3am every night as it takes a while to get out of the festival grounds and back to town, and yesterday morning I still had my volunteer job and Church to go to, lol, and I was still waking up between 7 and 8 most mornings due to pets, outside noises, etc. etc.  I finally slept a good amount last night into today.  The kids stayed up way past me which was great, so we all slept in this morning.

Shocked, thank you.  It was more work than fun for me (but fun work I guess), as I was pretty much doing transactions about 1 per every 30 seconds.  The amount of money going through there is incredible.  At any given time I had more than $5,000 in cash in my cash drawer. (The average was about $1500 per hour).  In a soft sided tent!  Thankfully, if anyone would have tried to rob us, security is tight and they wouldn't make it far!  I had a couple issues the first two nights, one the computer glitched as I was giving a guy $50 on his band, and it ended up giving him $100, so I was short in my drawer.  The 2nd night, I had been doing so many cash transactions, that when a lady gave me a credit card (because the credit card lines were full and I had the capability of doing both) I accidentally hit the cash button and never ran her card for $60!  We were able to freeze her account though and she came back the next day and we squared up.  So I was under Friday night and then over Saturday night.  Thankfully Sunday I was spot on every time!  I want them to invite me to work again next year, so I worried about the mix-ups, because last year, I was spot on every time, even though I probably had more than $20,000-$30,000 cash come through my hands.  Whew, talk about pressure!

Whyus, yeah September sounds like a bum month for concerts.  My dream venue is to see a concert in Red Rocks Ampitheatre.  If you don't know what that is, you can google it.  I was hoping to see Imagine Dragons with S18 next month, but that didn't work out, so I'll be on the lookout in the future to make it there.  We used to do a Rock concert here in August called Rock Jam.  So it was always the big Country music fans in June and then the Rock fans in August, but I'm not sure why they stopped doing it. 

My Aunt is a nurse and she said that it's like clockwork.  9 months after the Country music festival, they have an influx of baby deliveries.  LOL

The biggest news this year was a guy accidentally shot himself in the stomach on Friday afternoon in the campground.  He was stable when he left for the hospital but I haven't heard how he is doing.

And of course there are always underage drinking and fake I.D. issues.

And lots of people dress very scantily.  There were some women with no tops, just wearing electrical tape in an X across their nipples.   Then there were the guys in american flag thong speedos and cowboy boots and hat that walked up to my table to get cash put on their bands.  Pretty bad when their "package" is at eye level with you because you are sitting down.   :o  And the hairy butt cheeks as they walked away, hahaha.  I tried to avert my eyes while I was doing the transaction, or crane my neck up to their faces.  Good grief!

So today and tomorrow is all about recovery, and making a shopping list.  Wednesday we are packing and getting the camper ready.  I'm borrowing my brother's truck to take my pop-up camper and meet my BFF and her H who left today up at their camping spot at the beautiful Silverjack Reservoir.  They have 3 pitbulls so my mama is going to come stay and watch my little yorkie and of course 1 year old Lucy and the bunny.  We are only going to go Thu-Sat, so that we have one day to recoup at home again before the kids go back with xH.  We're excited, it will be our first time camping with BFF and her kids.  Taking the paddle boards of course.  We are under a strict fire ban, so no camp fires, but we will make do, as we wouldn't want to cause undue fire danger.

93
Our Community / Re: Not Broken Just Bent
« Last post by Dumbfounded on Today at 01:10:53 PM »
Hey KIT - don't forget I am on the East Coast.  8)
94
Our Community / Madness...? This is MLC!
« Last post by Kitty on Today at 01:04:47 PM »
Previous thread: https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10190.150

Wow, that was a quick thread!

To recap:

BD #1 in October 2017 Grumpy says he feels like he is living with a roommate and wants a separation.

Between October and December 2017 - Grumpy's moods continue to get worse I start walking on eggshells, trying to fix the things he says he wishes I did different. Throughout this time he is reconnecting with a past crush from high school who becomes OW. I find out about the affair (BD #2), the day after the separation agreement was signed 12/22/17. Grumpy told me there was no OW, I should have known better.

Between December 2017 and February 2018 Grumpy is a stage 5 clinger. Calling and texting multiple times a day, meeting at least once a week. Most of it is complaining that he feels like crap, he's exhausted, has body aches, his BP is high, and blaming his medication, Until February 22, when I initiate NC for 2 weeks to get some breathing room and try to work out some of my anger after I find out he is still not only still seeing OW, after he told me he wasn't, but that he also took her on a vacation that was supposed to be for us, after he said he wasn't going to. At some point I will get it through my head that if his lips are moving, he is lying.

March - May 2018 - Grumpy is more distant, he is seeing OW regularly and has been mentioning filing for D since 3/10/18. But says we will still be BFF's, and who knows, maybe there will be a chance for us to start dating again after we've been apart for a year or so. ::)

June 2018 - On our 12 year anniversary 6/10/18, I get a message from OW about not "signing papers" Grumpy is going to come crawling back to me. Apparently Grumpy caught her cheating, feels mad, and decides to call me to work on "fixing us". Comes to my place tells me he wants to work on us, starts spewing promises without really backing anything up. The whole week he is still talking to OW and seeing her. OW sends me another message 6/14, telling me that he's playing us both (because she's soooo concerned  ::))By Friday 6/15/18, he is already back to being conflicted about what he really wants, and is apologizing for giving me false hope as he runs back to OW.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

So lesson learned. I know from now on that if he comes to me again saying he wants to "fix us" and then does nothing to back that up, that I should just tell him right where to stick it.

My head is not in the best place today. I just deleted a bit of a rant of epic proportions. But it was good to get it out. The horrible, no good, very bad feeling I had since I woke up this morning is finally going away. I am scared to know the reason I got it, because I KNOW it's Grumpy related.

That's what I don't understand. If we no longer live with them, why do we still get bouts of intuition regarding them? If we are suppose to leave them alone and let them deal with their MLC on their own, why should our instincts be warning us about something regarding them?

It's so confusing.

Which leads me to this question, do the vets on here that are pretty well down the road to detachment still get intuitive feelings regarding their spouses?




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Our Community / Re: Patience is Power
« Last post by heroIam on Today at 12:46:43 PM »
My monkey brain has calmed a bit today.   ::) 
But before another sh*t cycle hits, I will relish in feeling stronger just for today.
Thanks to all of you for your support on my old thread.  Means everything to me.

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Our Community / Re: General MLC Questions ?
« Last post by heroIam on Today at 12:38:46 PM »
Hey Nas.
I'll have to go back to the RCR articles to read up on this.
Thank you for your two cents.   ;)
I agree rock bottom can happen within them.  And I also know that for some, maybe rock bottom won't happen until they are much older, or have to have a major life event happen.

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Our Community / Re: up down, up down, repeat
« Last post by Tyks on Today at 12:25:47 PM »
And daughter just confirmed it. Xh and ap are moving in together. These mlcers cannot be alone for 5 minutes.
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Our Community / Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 4
« Last post by Reallytrying on Today at 12:23:00 PM »
The dinner was nice. It was somber when we first got there and my cousin said almost nothing the entire time. Eventually the mood lifted a bit. We did chat about her and some of the funny stories we had about her. I had made a pie that both my uncle and H love. My uncle was so excited and hid the leftover pie in the fridge. H thought it was funny. Said he could have it because otherwise he’d eat the entire thing on his own. H was pleasant and chatty. We would usually sit together at the table - we did not this time - H seemed surprised that I sat elsewhere 🤷🏽‍♀️.  D brought her boyfriend so he met more of the family. They teased her quite a bit after he left. My uncle told him that since he shares a bday with D he will be expecting a gift from him next week too 😂😂😂

We were there quite late. As we were packing up H was standing off by himself. He looked like someone about to burst in to tears. He eventually put his arm around D - I was able to take a picture of him with both kids. The picture will be nice for the album I’m making for D bday next week. We all left together. There was a moment where I was struck by the fact that this could be the last time we’d be together in this way 😢 but truthfully that will be H loss. These people though technically mine have loved him like a son and have been the only “family” he has locally. We’ve all been very very close - most of my cousins friends used to think we were siblings because my aunt always refers to me as her first born.

When we got home D asked me if I thought dad looked sad. She actually said “I wonder what he was feeling?”  I sent him the picture I took and let him know that my aunt said having us there saved the evening. He replied “good”. It was a very “memory lane” type of evening so I’m not surprised to see him pull inwards. Waiting to hear when the funeral arrangements are. If possible I’ll make the drive for the service.

H wasn’t able to fix the dishwasher. It’s 10 years old so may be done. D and I went out today looking at prices and the repair person is coming tonight to see what’s up. This is the third kitchen plumbing related problem since he announced he was moving 😂😂😂. Not sure what the universe is trying to convey.

My parents will be here Friday for 2 weeks. I’m grateful they will be here. Always so much fun to spend time with them.
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Our Community / Re: Still rising
« Last post by Tyks on Today at 12:17:28 PM »
Hey rope.
I think I could've wrote this post, with the exception of the bit about your daughter. You are sounding good and yes, if you can get yourself out of wallowing faster it sure does help.

Look at you go ! You are doing amazing.
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Our Community / Re: Not Broken Just Bent
« Last post by Tyks on Today at 12:12:28 PM »
Hey, kit. I hope you guys have a great time !! MLC free sounds amazing :)
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