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Our Community / Re: MLC in the News: Celebrities, News Stories, etc. Part 5
« Last post by megogirl on September 22, 2019, 03:26:17 PM »

So, per People magazine, Demi Moore apparently had a MLC when she married Ashton Kutcher:

In a new interview with the NYT about her marriage, she felt their romance was "a do-over, like I could just go back in time and experience what it was like to be young, with him."

Always thought their age difference was a tad strange......!
Our Community / Re: Good living is the best revenge
« Last post by rubyhearted on September 22, 2019, 03:23:24 PM »
Lucifer is so good I may rewatch it. Just to watch Tom Ellis and DB Woodside together. Also I love Aimee Garcia, and what about Lesley-Ann as Maze. Oh. All of it. #guiltypleasure #fantasyland.
Our Community / Re: He’s having a mlc 7 - Courage
« Last post by Rosetintedglasses on September 22, 2019, 03:05:07 PM »
Thanks you all, I will reply.

Just wanted to say I spoke with H today. I had an hour without children and he wasn’t working so thought I could speak with him but assumed he wouldn’t answer. He did. We chatted for 40 mins. I said it was to discuss what to say to the children about OW2. He misunderstood and thought we were only telling them he’s not coming back rather than OW2 so we will both think further on that.

He is sounding so much more healthy than he was. We chatted a bit about OW1. I asked how it ended. He said it was not long after he left here, I asked what he thought about that now and he said ‘it was ridiculous’. The whole thing. He never thinks about her and didn’t say it but sounded like he regretted it. He certainly doesn’t respect her.

His take on OW2 is that we have been separated for 2 years and he has been seeing her for around 6months (I asked as he was a bit frosty 6months ago and told him this. I said he acted differently to me which is true). I asked why it took so long to tell me if it was a reasonable thing to do and he said he wasn’t sure if it would go anywhere. Sounds fair enough. He was quite nice to me. We chatted about the car as we need to sell it. I said I don’t really like it and he said ‘well start thinking about which car you would like’. He said not having the car is worse than not having a flat. He says he walks a lot and uses public transport. I told him this all makes no sense as we have the car sitting here and so he does have a car but chooses not to use it.

I also said that I remember him age 21 excited to be buying a flat and with his car said it would be great. I said it doesn’t seem right to work through your life to a big house (ish) and almost immediately say you want a flat again, and a car. I said I don’t understand it. He agreed.

He asked if he could take the children away for a few nights. I wasn’t sure and asked if OW2 would he there and he said no, for sure. I really felt rejection with this request as it’s basically the family minus me. Not sure what the children would think, another thing to think about.

This led me to ask what was wrong with us and he said we weren’t happy and didn’t communicate. I said no no I did communicate and would always say if I wasn’t happy. I said this was you, you must have been unhappy and didn’t mention it. I said what wrong with conflict anyway. It’s ok to say no. I said you didn’t say anything, got ow and left. I said ‘as a friend i’d Say you should get IC as this will raise its head again in your life if you don’t, it’s unhealthy’  he said I was right.

Basically he says he’s not coming back in case he’s a moany dad again and wants to be this fun dad. He says he’s worried he gets triggered (his word) back in the family. Is he over his MLC, decided not to come back and now found a new gf in his new life? That’s how it felt.

I told him I have a hospital appt this week (so to wait to tell children until afterwards). We chatted it through and he was interested and asked how I was getting there etc then at the end said good luck with it. He’s being quite nice to me. It’s so much better than being nasty like before but it does make it difficult to keep my head right.

I’m not re-reading this as no time. Hope it’s ok
Rose 🌹
Our Community / Re: Anyone else have a vanisher 21?
« Last post by Nas on September 22, 2019, 02:51:11 PM »
Same! I’ve deactivated my Facebook for a bit but when I go back live I’d love to join.
Our Community / Re: Anyone else have a vanisher 21?
« Last post by nah on September 22, 2019, 02:44:17 PM »
Contact a lawyer to protect your finances.

You started a Facebook group?  That’s great. Send me a message with the information and I’ll join!!
Our Community / Re: Registered here in 2016 and finally able to talk about it all
« Last post by Anjae on September 22, 2019, 02:20:27 PM »
It is OK not to be OK.

No texts, but I got e-mails with that teenager stuff. It seems to be a phase some MLCers have.
Our Community / Re: Good living is the best revenge
« Last post by Anjae on September 22, 2019, 02:18:29 PM »
Thank for clarifying on the bipolar.

I love Lucifer.  :)

Our Community / Re: Schrödinger's Cat in a Box
« Last post by Anjae on September 22, 2019, 02:17:24 PM »
But truthfully there seems to be a bit of my brain that just sees him as MY h despite both facts and wisdom. It's like he is encoded as that in some bit of me.

Regardless of now husband being an ex-husband, he is still the one husband you had.

I don't think the idea is to forget they were once in our lives, that they mattered and that we loved them.

The whole detachment business is to allows us to carry on functioning and reach a state of peace.

It's rather remarkable really that our MLCers seem to be able to discard that attachment so easily...or at least for a while perhaps...and replace it so quickly with a new one.

Not all of them detach that easily. Clingers certainly do not. What were Mr J court cases but attachement? What is monster but attachment? If there is indiferrence there is no monster.

I know your MLCer is a little different, but you don't know how fast he did, or did not, detach. If he did.
Our Community / Re: The silver lining AKA Lessons Learned, and those still to learn
« Last post by Anjae on September 22, 2019, 02:15:21 PM »
I'm sorry to hear about the breast cancer, Never.

Glad husband keeps improving and is there for you and that your friends will be with your mum.
Our Community / Re: 2.5 years... unwanted divorce... he’s planning a wedding
« Last post by stillbaffled on September 22, 2019, 02:06:31 PM »
I'm so sorry, Hope, that you are facing this newest BD. 

If you stick around here long enough I think you'll find that there are many here who did (or are doing) just what you did:

pray non-stop, let them go, left them alone, be kind, be loving, but strong......etc. etc.

But like you are finding doesn't seem to matter.   They do what they do, regardless of what we do. 

You will find support, encouragement and wisdom here.  We are here to support you. 

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