Author Topic:  STDs, alcoholism and other OP-caused diseases  (Read 426 times)

Offline Not Your MonkeyTopic starter

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STDs, alcoholism and other OP-caused diseases
« on: June 29, 2018, 03:48:35 AM »
OK, I am sure I got your attention by mentioning STDs.  ;D

But seriously, I'm wondering if anyone can share any experiences about their MLCer contracting an STD or any other illness or injury that the OP caused or contributed to? Alcoholism is another one where the OP may encourage and participate in the drinking.

In my case it is neither, but my MIL has had type 2 diabetes for many years and H has always feared her fate for himself. I always used to make an effort to control his diet to reduce the chance of him getting it, and it was so far so good. When he had various problems in the past like heartburn and kidney stones, he asked me to research and adjust his diet. He even asks me to research diets for his patients, so he has always trusted me in this regard, even until recent days. His weight remained at the same it was when we married for 17 years.

Then fat OW entered the picture and took over most of the responsibility for feeding him. Her meals are often triple starch (bread for dipping, pasta, French fries for example) and he often would skip breakfast or dinner with her complaining of unspecified nausea and stomach aches. He gained 20 pounds. Stopped exercises or even doing activities he would have previously done himself that would have required physical effort because she has encouraged him to act like a slave master so he brings his relatives to do things he would have previously done himself.

He's a doctor, he knows very well what he should be eating and not eating and how he should be taking care of himself. And the first meal he ever ate cooked by OW he chewed her out for the starch and told her this was unacceptable. Didn't change her cooking habits though, she still made crap. But one of his big reasons he claimed to want an OW was to eat food from his own culture, which is not diabetic friendly at all.

He's been harassing me lately for spending too much money on milk. Yesterday he bought 6 liters of Pepsi after going for some lab tests. I called him on this waste of money on sugary drinks when the milk I drink is healthier.

And then he got his lab results last night...He is now diabetic. I blew up, told him this was OW's fault, not mine, because all she feeds him is "starch starch starch" (I was directly quoting him here) and ran out of the room. I haven't seen him since. I know I shouldn't have done that but really it felt like she had been putting poison in his food all this time and it made me so angry.

So what I am wondering is did any of your MLCers contract a disease or some other similar situation that the OP was responsible for? Did it change their opinion of the OP? Did they start to see the error of their ways? Contracting diabetes was one of his greatest aging fears. His mother is a mess due to her diabetes and he has to deal with that on a daily basis. So this has to be a huge blow to him.

« Last Edit: June 29, 2018, 03:52:15 AM by GonerinGhana »
Beware "MLCers" telling lies.

Offline Thunder

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Re: STDs, alcoholism and other OP-caused diseases
« Reply #1 on: June 29, 2018, 04:31:50 AM »
Wow, that's terrible Goner.  Lesson learned there.   ::)
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline Not Your MonkeyTopic starter

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Re: STDs, alcoholism and other OP-caused diseases
« Reply #2 on: June 29, 2018, 05:36:40 AM »
Interestingly, I think it might have had a positive effect in one regard. There's been something he promised to do for me years ago to protect me to allow me to stay in our home if he died. Since his MLC started, it has become even more urgent for me, but he was basically saying I will do it, but when I want to do it, don't pressure me or ask me about it.

Finally, earlier this week he came to me and said he was ready to do it and would go to the lawyer to have some documents drawn up two nights ago, but said don't expect it to be finished quickly and I'm not going to die tomorrow so don't worry. Then nothing.

He didn't go to the lawyer, and I was worried he would back out of it again (as he has done several times since MLC started), but no he just showed up now and told me to draw up a draft of the document with whatever terms I want and he will agree to it and told me he wants to do this because of all I have done for him over the years, so not only is he doing it, but he is showing appreciation! I'm wondering if he is now is taking his potential mortality seriously finally due to the lab tests and decided he needs to get his act together.
Beware "MLCers" telling lies.

Offline Thunder

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Re: STDs, alcoholism and other OP-caused diseases
« Reply #3 on: June 29, 2018, 05:49:20 AM »
I agree, it may have been a good thing in some ways.  Hope he hates the ow.   ;D

Nice he acknowledged you.
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline Jackolar12

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Re: STDs, alcoholism and other OP-caused diseases
« Reply #4 on: January 13, 2019, 09:36:42 AM »
Goner diabetes is genetic mainly although the starchy food doesn’t help if it’s eaten long term. Did his dad have it or just his mother. It could be pre diabetes and a healthy eating plan should help, let’s hope he can get rid of it as it’s a debilitating disease that fatigues you when it gets a good grip.

Offline Nas

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Re: STDs, alcoholism and other OP-caused diseases
« Reply #5 on: January 13, 2019, 10:04:42 AM »
 I think this is another one of those situations where he is to blame himself. He is a human being with free will and he made the choice to eat the meals that she cooked. She didn’t hold a gun to his head and force him to eat bread and pasta.

That being said, I hope this is a wake up call to him.
Married 8 years at BD, together 16.
BD March 2015
H moved out July 2015
I found out about OW March 2016 (She went to high school with H, long distance EA since September 2014, became PA November 2015)
H moved 1100 miles to live with OW June 2016
I was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer June 2017
H became a vanisher

Offline Milly

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Re: STDs, alcoholism and other OP-caused diseases
« Reply #6 on: January 13, 2019, 01:31:10 PM »
Goner, I'm sorry to hear your H has diabetes now. I'm inclined to think that your H might have had an awakening to his own stupid behaviour. As he knew that eating the OW way was a risk to him, yet he agreed to eat her food for whatever MLC reason, he is now blaming himself for being irresponsible. Possibly it's awakened him to how his behaviour in general has been irresponsible and thus wants to repair what he can.

I hope you get the legalities sorted quickly so you can at least have peace of mind over your home.
Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D25, D22, S15
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

 

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