Author Topic: My Story  Growth For A New Half Century  (Read 2648 times)

Offline AnjaeTopic starter

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My Story Re: Growth For A New Half Century
« Reply #60 on: February 03, 2019, 05:10:04 PM »
We all know there are a lot of things that do not make sense when someone is having a MLC. Or maybe they do, given the person is having a MLC.

If all the things MLCer do are hard to understand, leaving the kids is very, very strange and I don't know how MLCer manage.

My brother that lives abroad come by suprise with his wife and daugher (my niece). They hadn't been here in nearly three years and it was the first time my two nephews and my niece were together. Two of the kids are small children. One is one year and a few months, the other three years and a couple of months. Oldest one is 13. They are not my kids, but it is always such a joy to be around them.

Since many MLCers totally ignore, or leave behind, the kids, MLC, as we often state, is not a MLC issue.

It was the first time in years the seven of us (siblings) dinned together. It was nice.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline xyzcf

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Re: Growth For A New Half Century
« Reply #61 on: February 03, 2019, 05:48:10 PM »
Sounds really nice Anjae  :)
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

"You enrich my life and are a source of joy and consolation to me. But if I lose you, I will not, I must not spend the rest of my life in unhappiness."

" The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it". Flannery O'Connor

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Offline AnjaeTopic starter

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Re: Growth For A New Half Century
« Reply #62 on: February 04, 2019, 02:42:36 AM »
It is.  :)

It is also amazing how kids, especially small ones, are full of love and give and receive it so easily. Very different from adults.

I had another dream with Mr J. In the future. It was a good one. We were a couple again and all was going well. Go figure.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline Acorn

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Re: Growth For A New Half Century
« Reply #63 on: February 04, 2019, 04:31:26 AM »
Aw, to watch and hold those little ones must have been such a treat!
Glad you could have those moments, Anjae!

Live-in MLCer
Feb 2015: BD.  H has a Nuclear meltdown. 
Oct 2015: ILYBIANILWY.
Apr 2016: Affair discovered
Dec 2017: Seriously reconnecting

Offline AnjaeTopic starter

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Re: Growth For A New Half Century
« Reply #64 on: February 04, 2019, 08:23:08 AM »
Aw, to watch and hold those little ones must have been such a treat!

It was (is).  :) The little boy I see more often, he lives here. The little girl had only been here before May 2016. I went to lunch at mum's with my two sisters, my brother who lives abroad, his wife, my niece and my younger brother's gilrfried. Then went for a walk with my brother, SIL and niece.

It was a sunny Winter day. It is good to seem them after so many years. My SIL is foreigner. The three of us end up speaking a mix of Portuguese and her mother tongue making for a bizarre, but funny, language.  ;D

MLCers don't know what they are missing while indulging in their crisis behaviours. Who puts family aside to go chase ... I don't even know what they are chasing. Phew.

Think I will see them again tomorrow late afternoon. They went to visit some friends and then they want some quiet. No dinner today and most likely no lunch tomorrow.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline LearningIamOk

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Re: Growth For A New Half Century
« Reply #65 on: February 04, 2019, 07:14:10 PM »
Anjae, it is so nice to hear you were surprised by your brother. Glad you are spending time with all of your family. Yes, MLCers really have no clue what they give up.
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Offline in it

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Re: Growth For A New Half Century
« Reply #66 on: February 04, 2019, 07:41:59 PM »
Yes little ones are always a joy to be around.
Enjoy Anjae. :)
There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.

Offline AnjaeTopic starter

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Re: Growth For A New Half Century
« Reply #67 on: February 05, 2019, 02:00:54 PM »
Hi Learning and In It.

It was a wonderful surprise, especially for mum. It is really good to have have them here and also be able to see my younger nephew more.  :)
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline AnjaeTopic starter

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Re: Growth For A New Half Century
« Reply #68 on: February 08, 2019, 12:30:30 AM »
Mr J replied to the e-mail. He does not say if he has, or does not have my heirloom. Just that he would be at my door at noon on the 24th with all of my things that didn't got lost of disappear in a flood. ???

We are not here on the 24th. It is a weekend filled with family activities, including a birthday on the 24th that will be celebrated out of town. His says that if I, or some one of my trust, cannot be at the door that day at noon, he has no interest in any future meeting.

Meeting? Who said anything about a meeting?  ??? I didn't ask him me to come by.

However, he only gives me my things if I give him some magazines that are more than 10 years old and joint property (and are stored who knows where). Joint properly is only exhanched if the items have been split as was determined by the lawyers and he has e-mails explaining that. He also keeps mentioning fanzines that I have and he wants. Some I have no idea what they are. Others had always been at MIL. Go figure.

He said he saw all the fanzines he mentions at the big collective exhibition and that I must had lend them.  :o No, I didn't. I don't even have them and they were not published by us. Most likely, the people who published them lend. If he is so interested in knowing who lend the fanzines, he can check with the exhibition curators.

There is no need of a meeting. He can leave my things at SIL and he knows it. But he keeps insisting on a meeting, even if know if can be someone I trust. Then, one not SIL? I trust her, he trust her.

Didn't like the bossy, dismissive tone one bit and that he decided on a date and time to turn up on my doorstep without previously consulting me if it is viable for me. I told him as much.

Anyway, we are not here on the 24th.

One thing I noticed, he didn't Bcc the e-mail to anyone. He never does. I Bcc my reply to Mr J to my lawyer.

Another thing I noticed. When I spoke with him August 2018 because of the collective exhibition, Mr J was totally dismissive of it, saying he had no interest in it. Yet, he come to see it. And even paid a lot of attention to fanzines we didn't publish. But didn't seem to notice that the one we did was missing.

To be fair, sending the e-mail asking for my heirloom only lead to same old, same old. Whatever.  ::) But I am tired of this stuff. Now he add to the list of my offenses that I lend the exhibition the fanzines I "refuse" to give him.  ::) Never mind I never had them in the first place.

But, at least, he used Dear Anjae and ended with Regards. But, boy, does he sound angry and unhappy and looking for a fight.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline Milly

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Re: Growth For A New Half Century
« Reply #69 on: February 08, 2019, 02:55:18 AM »
Wow. Anjae, I didn’t expect him to answer you at all. Like you say he’s fishing fo a fight. I wonder if since he’s angry at something in his life not you, and then receiving your email he instictively thought let me contact Anjae and cause a fight so he can get it out of his system with you instead of at himsel or whoever is making him angry right now.

Sorry you are having to deal with same old but if you can get your heirloom out of this it will be worth it.

Don’t know what’s going on with your H tight now but something’s happening. Selling his childhood lamp sounds like growing up. Or maybe simply needing to generate some quick cash.  Cutting his hair sounds like having had enough of the new style and wanting to go back to a more comfortable time. But then who knows. I would say that there is movement though.
Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D24, D21, S14
OW Physical Affair. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 50 last year.

 

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