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Author Topic: Discussion Acceptance, Surrender and Letting Go - tips, advice, timeline

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I just want to add that I was probably the biggest mess of any LBS; the worst was before this forum, but I was worse than what so many here describe.  And despite not at all being glad this happened I have, the way xy describes that tree, forged a good life with my children and for myself. 

I agree that it is important to accept that this, our own healing, will take as long as it takes, that if we need help we should ask for it, and as long as we are moving in an overall forward direction things are good. 

I also second the motion to stop and see the flowers and animals that cross your path, becoming aware of all these things has made a huge difference.  I remember one cold, rainy November day when everything was falling apart still looking at the patterns the wet bare branches made against the sky and remembering to say "thank you".  Sounds corny, but it works. 
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Great stuff to consider and ponder. Never considered the difference between verb and noun surrender but it’s true - totally different.
I’m not sure the accepting or the surrender to be harder for me.
Which really shouldn’t be. I’ve been through earthquakes- I lost everything I owned in a flood before - I had to accept and surrender to my mothers alcoholism - I had to accept my father leaving us and never looking back - I had to accept that my first husband cheated and left.
I always accepted the situation and got back up and rebuild a life.

Which is why it’s so puzzling to me that I cannot do the same with this man / situation.

And the noun surrender I do see as giving over control to a higher power and maybe that becomes a question of faith, which is something else I currently struggle with.

Time - maybe it is all about time.

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Me 53
H 51
AD 22 from previous R
Known H since 1993
Together since 2000
BD 06/21/2017
OW High School Sweetheart lives 4 hrs away


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