Author Topic: MLC Monster Vanisher - Return Stories #2  (Read 5347 times)

Offline Not Your Monkey

  • MLCer Type: Clinging Boomerang
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 2202
  • Gender: Female
MLC Monster Re: Vanisher - Return Stories #2
« Reply #110 on: December 01, 2018, 08:45:53 PM »
Since this is not the first thread with this title, and anyone who has looked at it previously will have figured out now what its content is, and because those who may be following along might now search for the thread by its current title, I don't know why it bothers you all are continuing to beat a dead horse about it. Every time I have looked at the "Vanisher" threads I find stories of members that certainly do not sound like vanishing to me either. And that has reached around 20 threads. I don't see anyone complaining about that.
Beware "MLCers" telling lies.

Offline BrenMTopic starter

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1183
  • Gender: Female
Re: Vanisher - Return Stories #2
« Reply #111 on: December 01, 2018, 08:52:45 PM »
Anjae I have been advised to ignore you and your bizarre behaviour...which is what I am doing.    Similarly as we are constantly advised on HS when dealing with our MONSTER MLCER'S to ignore and go nc.   

I know this will fall on deaf ears...as you will know otherwise... BUT here goes....You really need to read all your comments and see what you are doing - not only to me but to many HS members.   Note that this post will be available for many years...for many existing and new members to see....very sadly you are not doing yourself or your reputation any favours

Haven't you got a life in the REAL WORLD instead of creating issues on NEARLY EVERY SINGLE HS POST or INTIMIDATING MEMBERS? Obviously not...sadly its not rocket science why.

Have a great day Anjae...I really do hope that you feel and get better soon.   Fortunately you are around compassionate people on HS who understand.
« Last Edit: December 01, 2018, 10:22:16 PM by Brenross »
Me 47
Him 47
OW 32
Married - 20 years
Together - 28 years
BD - Nov 2014 - reason for affair said I controlled his life, wore flannelette pyjama pants to bed and drove our family car 🤔
Moved in with Young OW and her 2 kids Jan 2015
Total Vanisher
Divorced Sept 2016
S21, S17, S16 (autism), D14

🌹🌹Let's be real...Bren is the only one who can do Bren. I'm the best Bren on the planet. Trying to turn a skank into a Bren? That will surely end in disappointment, if it hasn't already.🌹🌹

❤❤Family isn't an important thing.  IT IS EVERYTHING!! ❤❤



Vanished Return Stories Thread #1 - https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9088.0;all
Vanisher Return Stories Link Thread #2 - https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9378.new#new

Offline BrenMTopic starter

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1183
  • Gender: Female
Re: Vanisher - Return Stories #2
« Reply #112 on: December 01, 2018, 08:56:29 PM »
Since this is not the first thread with this title, and anyone who has looked at it previously will have figured out now what its content is, and because those who may be following along might now search for the thread by its current title, I don't know why it bothers you all are continuing to beat a dead horse about it. Every time I have looked at the "Vanisher" threads I find stories of members that certainly do not sound like vanishing to me either. And that has reached around 20 threads. I don't see anyone complaining about that.

Goner this issue was addressed on the first thread.  As I have been advised by many fellow members...this is not about the Vanisher Thread at all or the name.....it is purely personal attacks....Anjae has put me right in her target range for some reason...she is seeking another HS member to intimidate.
« Last Edit: December 01, 2018, 10:23:59 PM by Brenross »
Me 47
Him 47
OW 32
Married - 20 years
Together - 28 years
BD - Nov 2014 - reason for affair said I controlled his life, wore flannelette pyjama pants to bed and drove our family car 🤔
Moved in with Young OW and her 2 kids Jan 2015
Total Vanisher
Divorced Sept 2016
S21, S17, S16 (autism), D14

🌹🌹Let's be real...Bren is the only one who can do Bren. I'm the best Bren on the planet. Trying to turn a skank into a Bren? That will surely end in disappointment, if it hasn't already.🌹🌹

❤❤Family isn't an important thing.  IT IS EVERYTHING!! ❤❤



Vanished Return Stories Thread #1 - https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9088.0;all
Vanisher Return Stories Link Thread #2 - https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9378.new#new

Offline serenity

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 3435
  • Gender: Female
Re: Vanisher - Return Stories #2
« Reply #113 on: December 01, 2018, 11:55:11 PM »
Hello Nas

Just concentrate on you now - getting well and stronger.

Don’t worry about statistics - just keep focusing on yourself and getting well. We are all here behind you. Sending good thoughts and vibes

X

Offline sparklestar

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 689
  • Gender: Female
Re: Vanisher - Return Stories #2
« Reply #114 on: January 01, 2019, 04:54:50 PM »
At the risk of sounding controversial, given the earlier contents of this thread, are there actually any return stories for vanishers or stories that involve vanishers? Stories that maybe not feature fully returning vanishers in the relationship sense but resurfacing in some way and the  ‘what happened next’ part. Even hearing vanishers accounts of what they thought/felt/went through and why or why they didn’t return / didn’t try to reconcile would be useful.

I think LBSs of vanishers are more likely to move on given the circumstances (possibly a reason for not reconciling) but as one myself (LBS of a V) I’d still like some insight and to understand the whys and wherefores...

For the record I have a true vanisher.


Offline Schratz66

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1412
  • Gender: Female
Re: Vanisher - Return Stories #2
« Reply #115 on: January 02, 2019, 10:27:29 AM »
How do we know when to let go and let God and be still and when to reach out to MLC to let them know we are interested ?
Struggling with my faith here lately again and I don't know if there is ever the time for us to be proactive and reach out or do we just wait for MLC to reach out to us ?
MLC (18 months since BD) has been reaching out a couple of times, and I obeyed the suggestions of being polite and brief in my replies. How do we know when MLC is reaching out for more ?

Me 52
H 51
AD 22 from previous R
Known H since 1993
Together since 2000
BD 06/21/2017
OW High School Sweetheart lives 4 hrs away

Offline Anjae

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16400
  • Gender: Female
Re: Vanisher - Return Stories #2
« Reply #116 on: January 02, 2019, 06:33:29 PM »
Sparkle, the only real vanisher I remeber returning was the husband of Stayed's friend. He has been some 9 years, then, one day, showed at his LBS doorstep.

But the reason we don't hear of vanishers return is, I think, because their LBS moved on and never bothers with them again.

Schratz, we are adviced not to iniciate contact, unless for necessary reasons - kids, legal or financial issues, emergencies. You husband has been contacting. Let him keep iniciate. We may have no way to know if the MLCer want more. Not at 18 months after BD. Some may say they want more, others may contact more.

But MLC is not linear. They can contact, then stop contact, then contact again and so on.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline Ready2Transform

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7716
  • Gender: Female
Re: Vanisher - Return Stories #2
« Reply #117 on: January 02, 2019, 06:39:34 PM »
How do we know when to let go and let God and be still and when to reach out to MLC to let them know we are interested ?
Struggling with my faith here lately again and I don't know if there is ever the time for us to be proactive and reach out or do we just wait for MLC to reach out to us ?
MLC (18 months since BD) has been reaching out a couple of times, and I obeyed the suggestions of being polite and brief in my replies. How do we know when MLC is reaching out for more ?

Do what you feel is right. Listen to your gut. You're not going to mess anything up (because you are not the messed up person!). It's hard either way. Be prepared if he's not ready, if you choose to reach out or initiate more.
"Unconditional love is the highest of high standards, and while we are letting go of our need to control the process of anyone else, we are taking within our lives complete accountability for our own experience."

http://seriousvanity.com/how-to-cultivate-unconditional-love-and-change-the-world/

 

SMF spam blocked by CleanTalk
Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.