[Left behind children at BD - are they girls, boys or a mix of both? What ages? Is there any pattern to this? Any correlation between Sex of MLCer and Sex of LBChildren.]

Left behind children at BD - are they girls, boys or a mix of both?  What ages?  Is there any pattern to this? Any correlation between Sex of MLCer and Sex of LBChildren.

Boys

12 (6.2%)

Girls

15 (7.7%)

Both boys and girls

20 (10.3%)

Sex of MLCer - Male

35 (18%)

Sex of MLCer - Female

6 (3.1%)

Age of children - preschooler

2 (1%)

Age of children - 5 - 12yrs

15 (7.7%)

Age of children - Teenagers

30 (15.5%)

Age of children - 20 yrs and older

17 (8.8%)

Is the gender of the MLCer the same as the gender of ALL the left behind children? YES

12 (6.2%)

Is the gender of the MLCer the same as the gender of ALL the left behind children? NO

30 (15.5%)

Total Members Voted: 47

[Keepthefaith22]

I think that the reason there are more teenagers and young adults may be more a function of middle age of the MLCer.  Most seem to be in their 40's and 50's at BD and probably have older children.  I know there are exceptions but maybe it would be helpful to look at age of the MLCer at BD too.  Just a thought.

[trusting]

I agree.

[calamity]

I agree that the age is probably the common factor [if kids are 20 spouse is usually between 40 & 60] but, having a 22 yo boy around...h56 is already feeling old and irrelevant...I would say that would be a trigger.  As a matter of fact he started the PA when the kids moved back home.  Did I mention he offered to go skiing with d's bf?   

[Dontgiveup]

I have no children.  My friend has no children.

Our ex-spouses are in MLC because of unresolved emotional and developmental issues.

[calamity]

DGU--I'm not looking for causes of mlc.  I just find statistics/numbers interesting & yes I know numbers are just like words, you can make them say whatever you want them to say. 
I do think mlc has a LOT to do with age issues.  I cannot imagine coping with mlc at a younger age.

[Dontgiveup]

Yes, preoccupation with aging is a key symptom of MLC.

Symptoms
•Preoccupation or fear of aging or death
•Vanity: Obsession with appearance
•Dissatisfaction with previous goals
•Life of Accommodation has left him feeling trapped
•Impulsive or Compulsive Behaviour
•Irritability
•Restlessness
•Substance abuse
 
The above list is comprised of symptoms, not causes. Aging does not cause midlife crisis--it is inevitable; midlife crisis is not. Since midlife crisis seems to be isolated to technologically advanced Western cultures lacking in ritual rites of passage, ageism is often blamed, but it is also not a cause of midlife crisis; rather it is an incubator, providing ideal cultural conditions.

[kikki]

would be interesting to see if there is any link between the gender of the MLCer and the gender of the Left Behind Children. 

Thanks for all of your thoughts on this, and for taking part in the poll. 
I started out by being amazed at the number of MLCers who have the same sex children - so far it looks like 25%. (Assuming that the MLCers with sons only were all male themselves.  Haven't heard of a female MLCer with sons only on this board??)

Although that does seem high - it looks like 50% have both male and female children, and the possibility then comes in of them being triggered by their daughter's emerging sexuality and hormonal changes, and also the presence of their daughter's boyfriends. 
And for the female MLCers - teen daughters triggering things for them. 

Also agree - most being in the 40 - 50 age range, they will have older children anyway.
I don't see this as a cause, just a trigger for the inevitable.  And one more thing that the MLCer can't/doesn't want to deal with or take responsibility for, or to be envious about (teen/early adult lifestyle) that their children are experiencing.

Aging does not cause midlife crisis--it is inevitable; midlife crisis is not. Since midlife crisis seems to be isolated to technologically advanced Western cultures lacking in ritual rites of passage, ageism is often blamed, but it is also not a cause of midlife crisis; rather it is an incubator, providing ideal cultural conditions. 
Agree completely DGU

[Robin Hood]

This is a very interesting aspect, I never thought about that.

My H started doing the weight loss thing about the time our oldest was a Senior in HS ( he graduated in 2009), we also have the little one, who is 8 years younger and had some issues, so I was totally pre-occupied, then older S went off to college and I was depressed and it might have done something to H, which I did not see.

In my case there were a few things that lead up to his MLC as far as I can see now. But yes, in our case MLCer and kids are the same gender.

RH