[Mermaid]

I'm amazed that there are 50% female vanishers!!!

[Rollercoasterider]

I'm amazed that there are 50% female vanishers!!!

Are you amazed that it is that high or that low?

[kikki]

I can't speak for Mermaid, but I had no idea that it was that high, until I saw your figures.
It's almost as if female MLCers are capable of leaving their children, the guilt sends them running a very long way away.  (if they have children that is?).

[Mermaid]

I'm amazed that there are 50% female vanishers!!!

Are you amazed that it is that high or that low?

I'm amazed it is that high. As you said

the percentage of women at home is significantly more—probably due to children at home 

So why is when they do leave that the contact level is so low? Are these cases in which the children have already grown? Do the ages of the children or length of time married make a difference to contact types? Can you see any correlation?

[Niek]

What I have seen on a Dutch forum is that when children are grown up or when there are no children at all, women disappear completely. In case there are children most women only have contact due to the children. But they ignore their husbands, they act like nothing ever happen, like they have never been married, like he is just some vague acquaintance.

[honour]

In case there are children most women only have contact due to the children. But they ignore their husbands, they act like nothing ever happen, like they have never been married, like he is just some vague acquaintance.

Yep, that just about sums up my situation, except in my situation there is not even the "vague acquaintance". It's absolute zero, nada, nothing.

At BD my/our children were D20 and S18. Next month it will be two years since daughter has seen or spoken to her mother. W will be married to another man next month and W has not contacted D to tell her so.

honour

[Niek]

Ohh I meant 'small children'. Having grown up children most women vanishes.

I am sorry to hear your W is going to get married OM. What a terrible thing to deal with. And what will this bring for our children dealing with a parent who completely disappeared and having her own party.

[Thundarr]

What I have seen on a Dutch forum is that when children are grown up or when there are no children at all, women disappear completely. In case there are children most women only have contact due to the children. But they ignore their husbands, they act like nothing ever happen, like they have never been married, like he is just some vague acquaintance.

Absolutely.  In my case it is as if "father of my children" is some sort of title and not a term meaning we ML and conceived the children together.  Like I am some sort of paid babysitter or someone who is just whining or complaining when informing her of something the kids need.  In many ways I wish she would vanish.

So, does anyone know of a female MLCer acting in such a way toward their H and actually returning or attempting to?  It would seem this is the behavior of someone who has moved on to never return.

[kikki]

In my case it is as if "father of my children" is some sort of title and not a term meaning we ML and conceived the children together.  Like I am some sort of paid babysitter or something who is just whining or complaining when informing her of something the kids need.

Thundarr - the men do this too. This is the crisis speaking.
I am like some androgynous drone to my H right now, and useful, at best, to him with the children.

[Anjae]

Don’t find it that surprising that female MLCers with grown up children or no children become vanishers. Women, non MLC ones, when they feel they are truly done with someone or something, they just close the door and move on. Of course in MLC the “being done” is not real, its crisis mode.