[Trustandlove]

My S asked an interesting question today -- he said how do you "honour thy mother and father", when you want to argue against what your father has done/is doing?

He said that H was often quite forceful and became angry when he and his siblings said they didn't want to do something, or protested against OW, or anything else, so he often didn't feel comfortable standing his ground.   

I did point out that he certainly wasn't afraid to argue with me..... 

And then he said that he sometimes felt conflicted because of the 6th Commandment. 

I told him that I was impressed that he was thinking like this, and that we would talk about it later; mainly because I, too, want to think carefully about how to respond. 

There are many here who are more articulate than I am, I'd welcome your thoughts. 

I know the usual "love the person, not the bad behaviour" applies. 

[Slow Fade]

This is a very difficult question. I think honoring our parents means respecting them enough and loving them enough to kindly let them know how we feel about what they are doing when it is so wrong. How can you honor someone when they are dis-respecting God?

I think its ok to let them know what we see, especially when it goes again Gods Word, but you can still do that with love and respect.

We don't judge the heart, but we can certainly judge the actions. I think we need the courage to stand for what we believe even when it comes to our parents. The Unconditionals still apply, but sometimes you have to call a spade a spade as opposed to a digging implement.

I'm struggling with this myself as I do not want my H modeling this disgusting behavior as normal and acceptable to our s9. Its a hard road to walk but we know who walks with us. 

Let you son know that in Jerimiah we are told that "the effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."

[Wed2Him?Whatever.]

I have a couple thoughts on this.

First, I think the best way to honor your parents is to behave in a manner that will not bring shame upon them.  As in, if you're keeping your name off the local police blotter, and not making a general nuisance of yourself, just being a decent citizen, living a productive life to where people can look at your life and surmise you were raised right that's honoring your parents.  Some parents, sadly, will never get that.

And second, you can trust God sees everything and will set things right and you're not on the hook for breaking down to an erring parent what they're doing's wrong.
In my opinion there is always a way to respectfully say you are against something.

[Trustandlove]

Thanks for the replies; I've been thinking about this as well; we haven't had an opportunity to have the talk yet, but will.

That's a really good way to put it, wed2 -- I'll use that. 

Another thing I'll say is that honouring your parents does NOT mean letting yourself be treated badly.  Nor does it mean condoning bad behaviour.

I can bring up the example of Chris Huhne, the politician who finally admitted that he forced his (now ex) wife to take speeding points for him...   (btw, another one who very suddenly left his wife for an OW, and whose career is now in tatters... another MLCer?)

http://news.uk.msn.com/uk/chris-huhne-court-hears-expletive-filled-texts-from-son-796100/

OK, I will probably add that swearing isn't necessarily the way to go, but make the point that Huhne is also trying to twist things....

[kikki]

What is 'interesting' to see is the complete denial from the father about the pain that he has inflicted on his family.
The horror from his son about his Father's choices, and recognition that it is all about the Father.
And the Father's insistence that he cares for and loves his son. 

It is like the MLCer's brain remembers that they are meant to say those things to their kids, but their choices and actions speak of something else altogether. 
What a bizarre, bizarre disorder.
No wonder people are fooled by this, if they haven't experienced it themselves. 

[Trustandlove]

Exactly, kikki.  I remember when Huhne announced his marriage break-up I immediately thought it must be another MLC; the things that have come out about him really so seem to indicate that. 

Particularly that he just said one night at the TV that it was over and he was going -- talk about BD. 

One thing that made me laugh at the time was his saying publicly that he had no plans to live with the OW, which the papers reported as "must be news to her, as she was clearly counting on that...."

And my, has he fallen.    His W seems to be doing well; she's very respected in her own right and an expert on many of the things that are going on in Europe right now.  I hope she's being the rock for her children.