[How long since bomb drop?]

How long since bomb drop?

0 to 1 years

32 (36.4%)

1 to 2 years

32 (36.4%)

2 to 3 years

16 (18.2%)

3 to 4 years

5 (5.7%)

4+ years

3 (3.4%)

Total Members Voted: 86

[Anjae]

Thanks StarGazerGirl for the kind thoughts. I know what kind of person would call their partner of 17 years at 3 am to tell her he is on a date?!  This is no kid, my partner will turn 60 this June! 
Just as crazy when he told me how much fun it was, that I should try it, he even gave me the name of someone he works with. Someone I have known for years, since he played high school baseball. Someone I would consider like one of my nephews about 17-20 years younger than me. I was so shocked I didn't know what to say. I consider this young man and his adorable wife like my own kids!  Then he says Joe (the kid) is divorcing his wife. I am shocked because they seemed like such a great couple. Instead of feeling sad for them and what they are going through my partner just laughs and suggests I go out with this kid?!
The man I loved would never have said such a thing and would have felt bad that this young couple was going through this.
This alien thought it was funny, was having a great time on his date and thought this was the answer for me. I felt like I had the wind knocked out of me. I felt betrayed, scared, lost beyond words who was this man I thought I knew who could hurt me so and laugh?

broken, think Star is right, they would like us to find someone else. Then they could go on with their life and be merry. Or so they think.

What you wrote about your husband suggesting you would go out with that younger man you saw as a nephew only shows how out of their minds they are.

Really, who calls someone at 3am to tell them what a great date they are on but a teenager. They really become teenagers again. An I think they kind of see us like their best mate.

[believe]

BD fall 2008. Can hardly believe that I'm still standing going into year 4.

[31andcounting]

I read everyone's post everyday, so encouraging and enlightening, thank you   but I have a question that I have not found asked before.  I read somewhere, a different forum I think that said SOMEONE can be in MLC and BD at the END rather than the beginning of their MLC??? I believe it was said by the MLCer himself while he was explaining his tunnel experience.  Opinions?

[kappy]

Hi 31andcounting,

I've never read anything like that before!  I have read that they can be a year into their crisis once the bomb is dropped.  BD is not necessarily the start of the crisis.

I'm sure that the more experienced people will know better!

Best of luck!!   Hugs

[justasking]

To get to BD the MLCer will have transversed denial and some of the anger stage and may have been in replay a while too. BD can come towards the end of replay when what they have so far encountered doesn't make them happy.

Often affairs have been ongoing for a long while before BD and therefore the spouse is not aware.

Whereever BD is replay after BD lasts at least 2 years in most cases and often 3 or 4. There are some early returners but they are a minority. Replay after BD takes a long long time 

The stages and process can only been seen retrospectively with regards to when they happened etc when the MLCer has been through them.

[Dontgiveup]

Here's some insight from RCR's blog "What is Bomb Drop?"

Bomb Drop occurs during Replay or initiates Replay.