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Author Topic: MLC Monster The end of MLC

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MLC Monster Re: The end of MLC
#40: May 17, 2011, 08:31:17 AM
Your words didn't sink in two years ago because he was probably in full Replay then....although they may have planted seeds.  I think his own progress did matter more.....that's MLC.

Suprising yourself about getting over some of the things he said during peak Replay is, I believe, evidence of the growth within you pertaining to the Unconditionals.....love, grace....and yes, even forgiveness.  I believe it's these reasons that, should your marriage come back together, it will be stronger because you are both emotionally stronger.
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Re: The end of MLC
#41: May 17, 2011, 10:12:55 AM
Well aware that the purpose of this site is to support those LBS who are Standers, however i couldn't help but comment on LetttingGo's earlier thread about dating and "you will meet someone".  Let me say that I am now divorced for almost a year, I've dated 30+ people and there has not been one (not one) that has not been a train wreck/MLCer or some guy just out there to get la*d.  Most men want to date a woman in the 25-38 age range, someone who could be their daughters age.  And they are serious that this is what they want!  No idea what experience others have had; I screen closely and extensively, and the fact is that in the 50+ age group, your prospects are abysmal at best.  I would always have preferred to take my xH back, but recognizing that xH is so mired in his own tragic life, I wanted to take control of my destiny.  Educated, very well employed, good looking, slender:  The prospects are very poor for finding someone.  Consult any literature or marketing research on the same subject and you will find confirmation of my acendotal evidence.   Taking the xH back is likely to be the best offer one will get;  then an LBS gets to decide to "take it or leave it".

I do hate to be so negative, but midlife dating is somewhat akin to swimming in a cesspool.
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Re: The end of MLC
#42: May 17, 2011, 10:37:51 AM
DGU,
You are completely right and I don't in any way think a lightbulb went off in H's head...it is his own progress though the tunnel.  I think truth darts plant seeds but they are as much for our own "getting it off our chest" as anything.

Speaking to the original questions was good analytical thinking for me.  And I will never stand for history revision though my H, being a low energy type, did not do as much revising as many.

I look forward to his emotional growth.  I do hope I see it though I've yet to.  I don't equate his growth with his moving along the tunnel but I'm glad for that as well.

Melanie,
Not surprised by what you wrote.  If my marriage fell all the way apart, I would not be on the dating scene as I have had enough crap to last me a lifetime.
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"I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals" (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me."
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Re: The end of MLC
#43: May 17, 2011, 10:45:00 AM
Quote from: MelanieB on May 17, 2011, 10:12:55 AM
  Most men want to date a woman in the 25-38 age range, someone who could be their daughters age.  And they are serious that this is what they want!
Well I am not up to dating yet but I can tell you that the group you mentioned will be the last one that I want.
I do not want to go through another round of MLC with someone else.

My wife is the same age as me, 
so maybe she will be in trouble but I don't want to be with someone that has not yet completed this journey.

Thats MHO!
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Re: The end of MLC
#44: May 17, 2011, 10:52:23 AM
OP - that is funny (and understandable). I am in my mid-thirties, so if H ever comes back, maybe I can pay him back with an MLC of my own (I jest)...
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