[jermishere]

I should tell you guys that I am not asking for myself.  I know where I stand.  My vow didnt include me being with someone else. 

I had read someone elses post and I guess I was being a little judgmental.  It was like I was pissed this person said they were standing but were out dating.  I got the feeling they were doing it to "get back" at their MLCer. When in reality, the MLCer probably wouldnt notice.

I had just been thinking about it for a few days and want to know other peoples opinion.

Still Standing here!

[bsviking]

I spent some time last fall looking for an outside relationship to provide a distraction for me from her crisis. That's what I think people do when they begin dating too soon. They're looking for someone else to distract them from the pain they're feeling.   It's easy to get drawn to someone else in times of emotional turmoil. That's why the MLCer ends up in an affair. M

I didn't think you were considering it J.  But if you do I suggest asking yourself why you really want to date.

[Tired Of It All]

   

          I don't think I could date someone else while H is in his crisis.  I would never feel it was right for me.  I am married.  I still feel married.  I love my H and want him back even after four years of this carp.  BUT my h didn't  move out either.  If he had I didn't know if I would feel different about it or not. 

           I has to be an individual decision.  I didn't think there is a right or wrong about it.  It's what you can live with. 

[PolarBear]

From a friend I know that he started dating with a few months, but he was not standing. He still felt it was too soon, but he really enjoyed the distraction and he was honest to the first few girls he met.
Nowadays (post divorce) he has moved on and is looking for someone new.

As for myself, I have thought about it, not to get something serious, but for self-validation, knowing that I am still desirable, attractive and a good and beautiful person. I haven't acted on it, but considered it for awhile, mainly on advice from friends who have seen me fall apart through this early phase.
Also since I am not sure whether I will stand or not, I guess it is keeping the options open. I partly view it also as potentially a path to validate to myself that I wish to hold out for my wife by realising what it is that we have/had and what I would not have and need to build with anybody new.