[hampc0cv]

Funny you mentioned that he go lost in town and didn't remember shops.  My H didn't remember asking my daughter about an event one week and then asked the same thing the next week and my daughter called him on it and he said he didn't remember asking her that. 

He also would say he had told me something and he didn't and then would get mad at me and swear he he had told me that.  He couldn't remember when a friend of ours wife passed away and ask him one day how his wife was diong.  Then when my h came home he asked me if the friends wife had died and if he had told me.  I told him yes he told me awhile back.

Could this be the same thing or is this just part of MLC

[LifeGoesOn]

Wow! This question has forced me to look at the calendar...something I haven't done in awhile.

H's affair has been going on (and off) for almost 3 years! BD was 2 1/2 years ago. Geez, I can't believe so much time has passed. If you had told me this timeline then....??
(BTW, we have been together 25 years) When H starts to see the damage he has done, as well as the damage done to him in the past, he turns back away from it. I believe he is going through the storage boxes in his mind but he actually crawls in the box and closes the lid! He is so good at compartmentalizing, he cant see the forest for the trees... The kids and I both see the teenager he never was. (14 to 18 depending on the day) He skipped all the teenage stuff and went right from a little wounded boy to a man, accepting adult responsibilities.

I'm putting the calendar away again!

[In this for ME]

Well mine is waffleing between 17..and around 25 to 30 now. Only about 18 more yeras to go and he'll be where I'm seeing him where he actually is.

D18 said he bought a Caddlac this week (nothing new) but his father and my father were always luxury car kind of guys. I love them and so does he but with the price of gas I wouldn't even  thnk about one I don't care what year the car is.

I've already got a semi sorta gas guzzler and am happy my job is only a block or two down the street. I can walk if I need to.

Guess one of the guys in the band told him he was going through a mid life crisis and his response was " I don't think so I'm way past mid-life" 

[mercury]

I got all excited because I was down to Just one more month of this crap, then I read the rest, damn

[Rollercoasterider]

I recently read somewhere on another forum that there was a correlation between the length of the marriage to the esimated length MLC awakening.  For example:  If you were married 19 years then it is estimated it will take 19 months for the MLC S to awaken.  In others words 1 month for every year married.

On looking at some of the success stories on other forums it appears a relatively good estimate.  I know there are now guarantees but just curious if others have seen this.  Any thoughts?

Doubt there's a correlation.  If MLC is not about the marriage, why would the length of marriage matter?

 
This is a bogus theory and Lovisntweakness has pointed out precisely why. If the theory were true the main premise of the site would be invalid: Your spouse's crisis is not about you, it's not about your marriage, it is personal.

Sometimes patterns are identified but they may match various poits of data. Some of those matches are coincidental. Consider that the theory might be true and the time between Bomb and Awakening are the same number of months as years of marriage.
Why might that be?

People get married at a variety of ages now days. But consider maybe there is a tight average for those who observe match to the theory...say 23-28 years old. The MLCer may go into MLC within a broad span. But maybe the time to between Bomb and Awakening is due to the time between the specific ages and not the coincidence that there was a marriage spanning that time. Maybe all MLC timelines are measured from age 19 or 25  or...

Now I don't buy that either. But it makes more sense than correlating it to the marriage. The other fuzzy part of that equation is Awakening. When is that? Which awakening is being referred? Awakening is also a process that may begin well before the crisis is over. Same with Acceptance. Those things happen in fits and starts and some pieces of the timeline are related to the interactions with the Standing spouse--an LBS who accepts the process of MLC rather than denies it or fights against it makes the transition smoother. An accepting LBS allows the crisis to happen as it is meant to happen. A fighting or denying LBS can result in a prolonged crisis.

The general length of a specific individuals crisis may have an ideal setting created by their own history, what is in their Shadow that they must face and integrate. Then there are real time elements--LBS interactions, additional crises such as illnesses or deaths, acts of God ex. hurricanes, national/international crises ex. 911, close/personal random acts of violence... the alienator: emotional blackmail, another MLCer, his or her spouse and family... And then there are a bunch of other unknown elements that factor in. Look at Jim Conway's range: 2-7 years. That's a pretty big span.