[Janus2014]

Medusa,

You are great.  Your MLCer is a fool.  I think when they lose the military structure, they get depressed and also don't know how to behave properly any more. 

I think half the reason my H is creeping home here this week is b/c he wants the Thanksgiving turkey I cook in a particular way.  When H wanted to reconcile, he had that turkey on the list of good things about our M.  H eats more than any man I've ever known, so I could never cook enough for him.

HMT,

THANK YOU.  I suspected as much - the UK seems to have a very generous benefits structure.  All this talk of kids starving seems over the top.  And when I looked on FB, I didn't see Fantine from Les Mis, either.

[blackice]

We dont celebrate thanksgiving really. Its more of an excuse to cook a lot of food and hang out.

I used to cook every day. When everything dropped i stopped. I could barely function. Im getting back in the habit of it again. I realized i missed it. Its a way of showing my family i love them. I had to love myself again first.

[hawk]

Not dated, not met anyone special but I take heart from the quote below from my thread.

I don't really have any advice that everybody else hasn't given already, but I'm glad you are living life with no expectations and being a parent to your kids the best you can. Somebody will come along one day that will be your new partner in life.

Family have said xW will never find anyone as good as me, and if I do meet someone xW will not be happy.  (She'll never be happy).

Lanzo

Hey Lanz , l think ex's family are glad to see the end of me and get my d more to themselves . We never did hit it off.
My family are like me , just very sad about it , disbelief . Worried for my d.
l've met a few and was seeing someone this last few mths but it's just too complicated with everything she has going on and after everything l've had going on.
Absolutely no one on the scene now . l think l'll just rest up, live and let the cards fall where they may.

[in it]

The holidays aren't easy that's for sure..I try to think passed them and have something else to look forward to I might go out New Years Eve this year.

Keep the chaos and the crazy at bay if you haven't gone NC the holidays are a good place to start. They love to start some kind of drama around then.

I am thankful for another year of me not having to listen to  him not criticize the meal..turkey was always a big issue. If it was too dry I'd hear about it. He was extemely ungrateful.

Focus on what you do have instead of what you don't.

[june]

Trusting.....what you wrote is exactly dead one for me too.....its so hard to read. It takes me have to that painful place where I am constantly trying to stay in control of my emotions around him while he is cutting me down over and over....it's hard not to look the victim (which fires my mlc up full speed !destroy! because he hates me more when I show weakness) when your self esteem is wracked - and in my case financially dependent and in the marital house unable to pay the bills....financial crushing is his current game and his mother is playing the game with him....he hides money and she puts her own money in our account with a check....them he is sweet to me and wants to talk about nothing...

[toomanytearss]

Keep the chaos and the crazy at bay if you haven't gone NC the holidays are a good place to start. They love to start some kind of drama around then.

This is something that I didn't notice at first but seems to be true.  Every holiday h seems to come back around.  The kids say he just wants gifts, lol, but he never gets any.  It does make the holidays difficult with all the added stress. 

[blackice]

the holiday season has always been rough, even pre mlc, it's one of h's ptsd triggers. he was assaulted around this time as a kid. so it's a huge trigger. he's ended up in the crisis center several times around now before. now that he is away from us and alone i wonder how much it's going to affect him. last year at this time is when everything went boom, our life exploded. from the small correspondences i am getting from him it seems like he is very thinky and trying to stave off that major depression he has been avoiding but can't anymore. something will happen i am sure but he has to be in a treatment center by the end of next week so maybe he will get in  there and they can deal with it instead of me.