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Author Topic: Discussion Happiness

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Discussion Re: Happiness
#20: January 05, 2017, 10:05:41 PM
I am the odd person out. I'm still not seeking "HAPPINESS". I am, however very content, with happy times, sad times, stressful times, joyful times, etc. I don't seek to be happy, never have. I seek to enjoy life and everything it has to bring, and while becoming an LBS is not something I'd wish on my worst enemy, it has brought me another experience to learn from, mourn, survive. Every experience I have, every misery I feel, every incredible joy I embrace makes me more of who I am.

I've learned to take the good times and bad and call them all a plus for my life. I wouldn't feel soul searing sorrow at the death of a friend if I hadn't had the heart lifting delight of knowing that person. It's all the feelings that make you whole.

Seriously. Search for contentment. The feeling that you have everything you need, good, bad and indifferent. JMO. ;)

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Re: Happiness
#21: January 06, 2017, 08:38:12 AM
Quote from: OffRoad on January 05, 2017, 10:05:41 PM
Seriously. Search for contentment. The feeling that you have everything you need, good, bad and indifferent. JMO. ;)

Very well said OR!!!

My thought as I was reading through the posts was - I find "happiness" in being able to feel all of my emotions, good and bad. Feelings are momentary and I am happy to have that moment with each one of them.
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BD - December 2012
OW1 confirmed - December 2012 on-and-off for 34 months and counting (still refers to her as just a 'friend')
Wants to live like roommates - November 2013
I moved out - April 2015
H is still checking the anchor
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Re: Happiness
#22: January 06, 2017, 09:19:37 AM
I tend to agree searching.....it is important to feel each.  For me it's kind of like the change of seasons here.  I like all 4 seasons and I try to enjoy each!!
Sometimes we can have all 4 in one day!!!  The weather can change fast!

but as a reconciled couple, right now my "feeling" of unhappiness is not with my H at all. It is with myself because I have not continued some of my "changes"
I find frustration with that.  Frustration leads me to "feel" unhappy at times.

(hugs)
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Re: Happiness
#23: January 06, 2017, 09:23:16 AM
My IC has helped me realize that the reason I didn't often feel happy was because of my expectations.  He has made me aware of my high expectations especially for myself and that was a real light bulb moment.  Once I realized this and started to work on pulling back some of my expectations I started to feel more at peace which made me feel content.  I wanted so much for everything to be "perfect" that I was missing the little things. 

My life isn't perfect and really never has been, but I am learning to be OK with that and lowering my expectations for myself and others.  There are things that I don't care for that my H does, but are they true deal breakers for me?  Not at this point in rebuilding our relationship, but at some point they might be - I don't know. I have no idea what the future holds, so I will stay in the moment and just enjoy what I have right now because that is all that is guaranteed.
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