[Thundarr]

Hello all,

I'm a new member but have followed this site for awhile and finally joined per Oldpilot's recommendation.  I'm glad I did because this thread was exactly what I've been needing today.  I won't bog the thread down with my story but I started a new thread if anyone wants to read it.

My W hit me up with the info that she had filed for D before even dropping the ILYBNILWY bomb the next day.  She has hell-bent on fast-tracking the D and threatened me not to try to slow it down or drag it on. In Ky a couple can be divorced after being separated for 60 days.  I was devastated not only about the D but that she wanted it over with ASAP.  To me, that meant we would be out of each other's lives for good and only communicate about kids.  I thought we would only see each other at birthday parties, graduations etc. and was devastated that my best friend, lover and W I had been with for 21 years could discard me like trash with little to no warning.

Then, she didn't even stop sleeping in the bed with me.  We even had sex less than a week later.  Things did not make sense to me at all.  In fact, it wasn't until after I got tired of being told to stay on my side and not touch her that I suggested sleeping separately and she moved to the living room couch.  3 more weeks passed before she actually moved to her parents'.  The discussions that have happened between us since then have been so bizarre to me that I feel like I'm the one that's nuts.  She wants us to do things "as a family" with the kids weekly, and even mentioned she and I going to see a movie next weekend.  It became clear very quickly that D to her did not mean the same as it did to me.  It's like she wants to stay married except without the affection and sex.  We have plans to spend the day with the kids tomorrow and take the kids out to eat and to the movies, all her treat.  She's even bringing breakfast when she comes over tomorrow morning.  We've gone out with the kids just about weekly since the BD, and were going out every day almost until she moved out.  This is pure Twilight Zone to me because I've never known anyone to act like this when they D.  Never.  My assistant even remarked that she doesn't so much as let her ex in the house when he comes to see their daughter.

I should add she informed me last night she was looking over a Separation Agreement.  We could have been D by now but she has apparently cooled her jets somewhat.  She has said some strange things over the past two months about that we MIGHT get D and that this was something she HAD TO DO.  She couldn't even explain why she HAD to and I started to log in my own memory banks that she is just not sane.  If she is looking at a SA, that is not required for D so it might be a sign she's having second thoughts.  I don't know, and I sure can't believe anything she says to me. 

So, my question is should I go along with the "family outings" while she is still at this stage or should I make myself unavailable.  NC is not an option due to the kids and the fact that we both agreed that we could see the kids every day.  When I agreed to this I thought she would take the kids, but instead they are living with me full-time and will continue to so I have to see her almost every day whether I want to or not.  I deeply love her and am not sure if spending more time with her will even have any effect or not at this stage in the game.  Help is appreciated!! Thanks!