[Standing Strong]

MLC at Halloween.......

What a bust!!! I was loaded for bear!!! Tons of candy, and so few kids. Too bad.

Wouldn't you know it...... MLC decides to make a Halloween appearance!!!!
I went outside to check and see if there was anyone else on the street before turning out the lights and calling it quits.
There was one last pair of figures on the street.... I wave and call out "We have good candy here!!!" and go back inside.

A couple min later the doorbell rings...... I have ring pops for the little kids and assorted good candy for everyone else.
I open the door and there's a girl, maybe 7 or 8. She has no  costume. She actually looks very plain, and resembles one of the orphans from the movie Annie. Her face is blank, her eyes are big, and she says nothing. No trick or treat, no emotion at all. Puzzled I look up to the adult with her - it's her mom...... who is bedecked in a gown, crystal tiara, a rhinestone wand that ends in a star, hair curled, and HEAVY makeup. She smiles at me and winks. Ewww. This poor girl, it all makes sense now. I quickly give her two handfuls of the best candy I have and wish her a happy Halloween. She wanders away in silence.

As I close the door I think back to the 1st Halloween after MLC started - the only Halloween W helped with until this one...... back then she had dressed completely inappropriately as a s**tty Little Red Riding Hood with her boobs popping out, and the frilly skirt so short and bending over revealed everything. Of course I protected the kids back then from being exposed to her - heck it wasn't even difficult since she only really cared about being in the outfit and living whatever fantasy she was stuck in..... she couldn't care less about giving candy (thank God).

As for this Halloween: This was the 1st when she actually, really helped..... but she did throw a minor fit about hating Halloween since it was so difficult and is such an inconvenience (Um, I did all the work). Well, at least she helped and stayed until the end. Still a work in progress (of course).

The highlight of the night was dropping a ring pop, packet of fun dip, and four packs of nerds assortments into the bucket of a little girl dressed as a princess - she got a look at what she was getting and exclaimed "OOoohhhhh WOW!!!!". Awwwwww, that's so nice. The second best was a tiny little boy dressed as a dinosaur who had gotten tired out and was seated in a stroller but was still super excited to be on the hunt for candy. W was taking care of that group and not giving out enough candy so I yelled out "make sure they get a Fun Dip and a Ring pop for the small ones..... his little face lit up in a enormous grin that squished his little face. Super cute. I absolutely love seeing happy children. They are so innocent, and being a small person should be magical. I asked W afterward if she saw his little face, and she said "no". How sad.

Well, I have a ton of candy now...... not what I was hoping for. At least I didn't buy a ton of full sized candy bars to give out (I almost did - someday I will).

One Halloween at a time,

-SS

[Flummoxed]

Aw man, SS, to be the house with the full-sized candy bars- that's always been the dream! Glad to see you had a fantastic Halloween overall. The little kiddos faces are just everything! I think trunk-or-treat has changed the game a bit; I also have candy leftover and I didn't start with much. But I hope there's a resurgence because what a joy it is for all. And those full-sized candy bars will have their day.

[OffRoad]

I am the house with the full size candy bars (or bag full of nerds, nerd clusters and nerd crunchy chewy things).  I did also  set up my tiny cemetery with the assortment of baby skeleton animals that croak, swim, oink, etc, crystal ball and assorted lanterns. There are not so many kids trick or treating these days. Even my neighbors go to parties instead. The most kids I had was 2020 when they couldn't go to parties and HAD to get out of the house and that was 75. Before my mother passed, we had all gone to her house and did it up royale to the tune of 250 to 300 kids, so not having many kids is very sad. . But like SS I did have those few kids that got their treat, then when they went to show it to their parents I could hear "Look at what she gave me!". So  much joy in that. I even had some middle schoolers with manners, which prompted me to give them extra. I just put my extra candy in the Amazon/UPS/USPS snack basket on the porch.

At least your wife tried, SS. Full points for her giving it a go, anyway. How did the puppy do with the action?

[Standing Strong]

More views from "the other side" 

Journaling:

I had an experience the other night..... we were in bed, hanging out with the dog and watching TV..... small talk....... and then, the dog jumps in and gets us to play with him....... and it was GREAT. W actually was FUN. That may not seem like much, but she hasn't been FUN in..... I don't know, forever?
You know how the MLC'er gets so awkward, so backward.... that even when they try it's like "what?"  ..... and then they're self conscious, and clam up.... you know, not natural at all? And everything just doesn't seem to "click"? W has been there for a really long time, and she was there for a very long time leading up to MLC too. Can't joke, can't play, can't tease, can't do hardly anything..... but once upon a time (long ago) it was effortless.

I got to see just a little bit of that, and it was fun. It was funny. To see a real sense of humor generated by her and not just joining in with laughter - well, that was new. I had forgotten what that was like, to laugh to tears at antics from her. It was nice.

After that (the next day) she invited me to what is essentially a Christmas trip.... to go on a small road trip and see our niece play basketball (out of town and overnight). She's home for all the holidays this year.... and this would be "us" doing something together a few days before Christmas.

Tonight I had a work dinner to attend.... when when I got home, she had taken care of the birds, walked the dog, and straightened up the kitchen.
It's nice having some help, I was very surprised she actually walked the dog. Very nice....... and the dog was freaked out too!!! He is so happy, his momma never walks him.
I had brought her a piece of cheesecake from the place we had work dinner tonight.... it was so pretty: A solid blue swirled cheesecake, surrounded with berries. Cheesecake is her favorite, and it was just too nice not to order a slice to take her. I had not seen one like it before.
She tried a couple bites and put the rest away for later. Then she opened up and said she's decided to not hate her job anymore, and that's she's been enjoying her time there the last couple weeks.
The depression is lifting......

Things are turning. I'm in no rush, and I'm not going to heap on anything in some desire to move things forward faster..... just let them progress as they should..... naturally. She's still forming, and firming up. Her previous values are snapping back into place, I don't know how she is resolving her MLC behavior against her restored values but we will talk about that at some point down the road.
This movement is something to see.

One day at a time,

-SS

[Baxter1]

SS-


Such a great update! You put in the time and are seeing the results, bravo!

[Flummoxed]

This is such a beautiful update, SS! So happy for you both and wishing you both well. Slow and steady and all in good time. Thank you so much for sharing with us!

[Standing Strong]

Journaling:

More changes - it's moving faster, and it's hmmmmm interesting.

W is pushing, pushing now.... and it's strange to see it.
Before she would suggest something to do, and that'd be it. You know, the suggestion is the action..... and then *POOF*, that was it.  HA!!!
She pressed me on doing something for Christmas yesterday, the small overnight trip (which I said yes to), and then she wanted more. "What can we do for Christmas? Do you want to do something for Christmas?". HA!!!
Well, I will let that play out..... but she also didn't just retreat at the mention of holiday dinners with family (a new 1st). Very interesting.
She keeps referring to "us"..... "us" "us" "us"...... it's like a parrot squawking.  Hmmmm.
She also invited me to her sister's for Thanksgiving...... which is hilarious!!! I've been the one still going to all the family dinners (on both sides) since all this began...... she's been missing them like clockwork. HA!!!  I think I've missed one holiday in five years. One!!

Then there was a big one...... it's time for us to renew our lease, and I've been waiting for housing to go down..... and it's been frustrating. I wanted to buy in 2009, I wanted to buy in 2019...... but W has always been afraid of it. Well, after MLC started I was no longer in a position to buy a home (too much uncertainty, and too full of a plate), but it's always been a thorn in my side. So this time after this next two year lease I mentioned that this is the last time, I'm buying a home when this lease is up (and that means with or without her).
She pipes in all excited - "oh yes!!!", "we can save and get a home in two years!!!". What? What planet did she just beam down from? HA!!! I mean, it's a really good sign and all that..... but  It's soooooo weird to have someone agree instead of endless and irrational opposition. It's like "what do you mean you agree??!?!?". HA!!! 

In other news....
I've been trying to get my Mom to go on a trip for months and months now. "I never go anywhere..... you're father doesn't take me anywhere......(and when we try to get her to go somewhere:) "Why can't we go somewhere I want to go". My mother is a wonderful, wonderful woman..... and she can be insufferable at times. I think she likes to complain. My poor father. He loves her, but she doesn't let go of whatever she's worked out about from the past. He's in some ways, all beat down from comments she has and my sister too.
Anyway.... I'd had enough of this nonsense. Nothing is perfect, you get what you get..... so I called mom up yesterday and put her on the spot: "Are you and Dad coming to Vegas with me? It's time to book. Yes or no". She hemmed and hawed....... "I don't know if I'll like it, why don't we go somewhere else? I don't know if we'll actually go somewhere else...... your father may say no". So I told her "Look ma, dad will go to Vegas (she switched to speaker phone so dad can be on too), Dad will you go to Vegas in March?" (Yes) "Great - that's taken care of. Mom, will you come to Vegas? You'll have a great time - and you won't know you like it until you do it.... so let's do it. Going somewhere is better than going nowhere. You always say you never go anywhere - let's go".
So anyway, she's going to let me know today yes or no. This would be the 1st family trip in 24 years. I just don't have time for nonsense, or excuses, or "maybe laters" anymore..... today is the day. Grab it!!! I hope they go. I'm going to take them to at least one show and a very nice buffet..... which will be more than they have ever done themselves..... and show them around the tourist stuff.

I told W that I'm taking my parents to Vegas and she said "oh, that sounds like fun". Yup, it sure is.

One day at a time,

-SS