[WHY]

You’re 5 months post BD.  He is still deep in replay and will continue to be in there for years.   Sorry but it’s highly unlikely this is reconnection. 

You can roll with it if it feels right.  But have less than zero expectations.  It means nothing.  He’s anchor checking, alleviating his own guilt, has no idea what he actually wants etc.  he could change his mind tomorrow.  it means nothing. 

I wouldn’t do it if you think it may give you false hope.  But if you can stand strong and do it without feeling anything.  Then why not. 

Be strong. 

[forthetrees]

Oh my, I am so sorry you were subjected to the MIL comment. She probably tells her friends that she reached out and checked in on you - as in a loving person. Jeesh.

As for family day at the party- hmmmm, I would not want to be a prop for a everything is dandy picture day. Maybe take the day to go pamper yourself with a pal. Hey, you are going to likely have a lot of days with no adult help for parenting so this could be a day for YOU YOU YOU.

[Bb13]

New update: family day didn’t happen as my waters broke on Saturday at 32+6 🤦🏻‍♀️
Still currently pregnant and in hospital. H has moved back to the house to look after the children and has come up to see me everyday either by himself or with the children.
Obviously anything to do with “us” has been put on the back burner whilst we try and keep this baby in a bit longer.
My friend did tell him it’s likely this has all happened because of the “stress” I’ve been under. He cried. He then told another friend that his “whole world was crumbling beneath him”.

[Treasur]

Well, first of all, we are all sending you and the new little one our thoughts and prayers.
It really is the time to just focus on that, isn’t it?

Your friend may well be right, of course, but you are where you are. It’s a strange thing but most of these spouses seem to do a bit of ‘sadz’….for those not in crisis, it can be a bit like someone cutting their own arm off and then looking for your sympathy.  And they use strangely passive language - things ‘happen’ as opposed to them choosing certain actions that tend to come with pretty predictable effects.

There might be a time to be kind about that, strange as it is, but I’d suggest right now is not it. You look after yourself, let others look after you and let him feel what he feels. Only time will show if those feelings turn into more constructive actions.

[FaithWalker]

Definitely you and the little one are in my thoughts and prayers! 

[LBSinUSA]

Good luck to you and your baby.  I wouldnt worry about anything with him at this point. 

Each day the baby can be kept in is a blessing if I remember how it goes.    Im sure well get an update soon.

God Bless