Once again...TIME has gotten away from me. What used to be a 4 letter word......now I don't have enough of it.
So what is up?
7 years has passed! My Bomb A Versary was 10.29.24 and it was just another day. There is no sadness. I can think back to bomb drop and remember but there is no pain at all. No tears....just nothing!
What I do think about each anniversary is how far I have come. What have I done. Where I am today and where I want to go to in the future! Even more special is some of the friendships and bonds I have made over TIME!
I keep moving forward. I no longer have hopes and dreams of him returning. I has accepted that he is gone for good and I am ok with that. That is his choice.
Where is he at? I don't know where he is in his MLC. I just know he is still in it. Somedays he seems normal. Somedays he vanishes. Somedays he calls. Somedays he is totally silent. Somedays he seems happy. Somedays he is very sullen. He is just all over the place.
He is still secretive but there are times he shares what he is doing or thinking. Just small tidbits.
When he does reach out...it is always with a purpose. Usually it starts with something related to pickleball or the kids.
I think in my last post, I stated that he and my son had a severed relationship. Neither tried to repair it until his father died in August. At that time, my son came for a visit and he reached out to his father. They met and had a heated discussion. Long story short....H claimed to not remember some of the things he said and did say, IF I said that, I should not have said that but never apologized for saying it. He also told son that he was prepared to never reach out to him and it was good that SON made the first move. H still feels that he did no wrong. Son is the one that cut communication and it was up to him to start it back up again....and if son hadn't....H was never going to take the first step to clear the air. Let's just say that went over like a fart in church!
Son is now civil and will return texts...just not promptly. Ditto with calls but he keeps them very short. Both son and wife told him they are son keeping his secrets and they will not be put in the middle ever again between him and I.
They both admitted to me that he never asked them to keep the secrets but he flaunted the things he was doing and the women he was seeing to them. They felt pressure to not tell me. They both said...ask us anything....we will tell you the truth.
I told them....I never asked you anything before and I won't do it now. If I really want to know...I'll ask him. It is not their story to tell or for me to put them in that place either.
So their relationship is not fixed and son says that his Dad has a chance and chose not to apologize or to try to fix it. H can pretend all is well but son says it will never be the same. My heart breaks for son!
Thus far, there are no signs of H trying to fix anything with anyone. His go to is still his sister and that relationship just keeps getting odder and odder.
Father died in August. Mother died in October. H and sister got drunk together....and she is still keeping his secrets and seeing that others think he walks on water. Sister even told son's wife that son needs to step up and talk to his father and make things right. Now there is tension between Aunt and nephew now. Wow! Keep your nose out of it.
So the drama continues for him.
Me....I just keep my relationships going with both kids! I love them both and want what is best for both of them! I even support them having a relationship with HIM....he is the one that just doesn't seem to want it. His loss!
That is the recap in a nutshell.
I am still playing pickleball. Hanging with family and friends and playing with my dogs. Throw in work and I have a full plate and one that is very satisfying!
Sorry for how long I was gone! Can't promise when I will be back!
Wishing you all the best!
Sam
So strange
Onward and Upward is better than Rinse and Repeat!
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