[heroIam]

Hi PooWoo.
Sounds about right.  I can relate.

Anjae,
I don't know what my H would be considered.  Touch and go?  Off and On?  Ever since he left second time, he has been more distant.  Not much contact unless it is important business related stuff.  Haven't seen him face to face for at least 18 months now, nor heard much from him.  Wasn't like that at the beginning in 2014.  So, in my mind he is a vanisher.  Picks up mail/checks once a month at the house (doesn't come in anymore) but I don't see him at all.

[Reallytrying]

Hero - I think the fact that he responds to contact sometimes, gave you a gift last Christmas, etc makes him not technically  a vanisher though I do know he is very different from how he was. You know my H is a boomerang but he does continue to be responsible financially for himself and for the family related bills. I do think there are many MLCers who get mean and aggressive with money but I think there are also many who do not.

[heroIam]

RT
Good to see here!
Yes, I agree, some pay some don't and yes, last year I did get a gift which I thought was thoughtful.  However, it has been quite different over the last 18 months and I'm not so sure I'll be getting a gift again this year.  Doesn't look likely considering his distance this past year.  What I do observe is that when I text or email him as of lately, his responses back to me are much quicker.  Believe me, I know it means nothing.  It's just an observation.  But I got this thread going because I thought it would be interesting to see how many LBSers are in similar situations as I.  I think we are a minority.  Where H is semi-vanished or vanished, but still continue to be financially responsible.  And, part of my curiosity is that I don't have kids.  MLCers seem more likely (not all) to remain financially responsible with kids, but without kids is very unusual.

[calamity]

Where H is semi-vanished or vanished, but still continue to be financially responsible.  And, part of my curiosity is that I don't have kids.  MLCers seem more likely (not all) to remain financially responsible with kids, but without kids is very unusual.

Very unusual and financial responsibility for the kids is normally spelled out in a legal agreement.  But just so it is clear for everyone reading, this situation can change in a heartbeat!  It amazes me that a lbs knows their spouse is a cheater and a liar but trusts them to provide financially--cognitive dissonance?  Yes I was guilty but not for long.

Hero I'm not talking about you personally; I don't really know your situation and I'm sure you are secure but this is a public forum.  Responsibility is the last thing I would attribute to a mlcer.

[heroIam]

I agree Calamity.
Because I'm just trying to see how many LBSers in this situation post here, by no means am I clueless as to trusting H completely.  I have prepared myself as best as I could should he pull the plug.  I'm not depending and relying on his continued support, I do have a full time job.  Although I am grateful that he does continue support.  I have discussed worst case scenario with my IC.  And prepared as best as I can be. 

I thought it would be interesting to know though just how many LBSers are in this same situation.  Seems very, very few, and maybe I'm the only one.

Because we don't have children together, it is very unusual he continues to be financially responsible.  I can only speculate that it's guilt or/and fear of losing $$$ driving that.  I have no idea.  If it is "all that" and peachy with OW and his new life, why continue like this with me?   Because if he really truly cared, I suppose I wouldn't be in this predicament.

When H does respond to emails/texts, its almost always just one or two words.  If I'm lucky I will get a full sentence but very rare.  So, is that maybe a resentful or angry type of tone?  Maybe he is mad/resentful that he is still supporting me?  But it's his choice.