As for let go let God, I am just starting to get that slowly..........it has taken me a long time to realise that all the thinking, and wondering or imagining the outcome or what H is doing/thinking or not doing/thinking doesn't push any of this along any quicker and inbetween I am missing out on some great sunny days, new memories and fun times.
Also, I am wasting energy on negative thoughts, feelings and what if's that I have no control over and by thinking the situation with H all the time (because thoughts are energy) I am fuelling these by thinking about them
......
so I have started trying to be very conscious of my thoughts and stopping them as soon as they enter my head, I am starting to try to 'let go let God' leave H to him, to the universe, believing he WILL COME BACK, but try to push all other thoughts of him from my mind, to embrace each day, be grateful for each little thing that makes me smile, each person who wants to spend time with me, each sunrise/sunset I experience and know that each day brings me nearer to a new chapter and is another day which H moves through the tunnel....
I put this on Handpuppet's thread earlier, About 1 hour before my H turned up after nearly 7 weeks of no contact!!
I don't know if its just a coincidence, but what I do know is, J my dog was sitting at the front door tonight whilst I was updating Handpuppet's thread, I looked at him and said 'what do you know that I dont, is H going to turn up!'
And he did
Letting Go letting God is something you cannot fake, it is a true shift of power, it comes with letting go of the outcome and as RCR says 'chosing joy'.
It is a conscious decision to embrace life and to really make the most of every day, to not obsess about what your spouse is doing, or what each contact means, its about knowing whatever happens, you will be ok.
IT does takes time, it takes a lot of tears, heartache, self reflection, it takes a lot of faltering steps and strength but YOU DO GET THERE
BUT when you do, you realise that anything is possible.
Whether you have religion, faith in yourself/the universe or just sheer determination, when you are determined this "thing" called MLC will not destroy, define or take over your life, you will go up and then you will find a sort of peace and a strength and from there anything is possible.
My H turned up tonight...........don't think I am not now jumping to the conclusion he is coming back next week (as it happens I have always believed he would come back - and still do)
But that could be next week, next year, whatever!
But I am LIVING, not in some sort of suspended animation but NOW, for the first time in a long time I AM LIVING, not existing, not obsessing about what he's doing/thinking, ot about OW, not about MLC .....NOTHNG to do with him, I am living for me.
Over the last few weeks I am putting real effort into training myself NOT to think about H/MLC/OW, because I realise to think is to send/give energy to the situation.
I send positive thoughts to H to get strength and courage, to clear the fog, remove the veil from his eyes, BUT once I have done that I refuse to give this situation any more energy.
I put all the energy into me, my life, my goals and enjoying each moment
If you can do the same give yourself this gift (as OP says) of time but also give yourself the energy not your H and OW/OM or this MLC situation
SEE YOU ALL MONDAY 22:00hrs GMT xx
"I can't go back to yesterday I was a different person then"..............Alice in Wonderland
you NEVER know how strong you are, until being strong is the ONLY choice you have"
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POSITIVE THINKING TIME