[in it]

I'm sad when I hear that success for an LBS is only measured in terms of reuniting. For me success is feeling able to be, to live whatever happens. To have looked at myself, understood myself more closely, even at times painfully, and then be able to stand up free. Free of need and want, free of expectations and free just to be myself.

This I can relate to right now..this is where I am...just happy to be free and be myself.

Thanks for posting voyager!!! I remember you from way back!

[Voyager]

Hi Init
I remember you too!! I don't think I've posted this much and read this often in a loooong time so it's good to hear you're feeling well and happy

I see Tsunami has an old timers thread going on I guess I probably qualify, I have got some grey streaks in my viking beard these days, but they do look very fetching

Take best care my dear
xxxxxxxxxxx

[summer progress]

(((((((V))))))

Miss you!

[Voyager]

Awwww S!!!

It's so nice to hear that and I'm going to have a look at what's been happening to you   I hope it's all positive?

Much love to you
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[SSG]

Just one other thing to ponder on when we look at the influences in the crisis is that of the OP. No matter how much of a band aid label they are given here on this site, they are influencing our spouse.  Manipulating and controlling is what they do and I don't believe our spouse needs a second person. They will work that out in time.

I have often thought before I open my mouth, what is my motivation here and nine times out of ten I have ended up shutting it again, because my motivation was about me and me only. That took time to work on that one I admit.

My h already believes that he has lost everything, but it makes no difference. Nothing is going to sipped up his change of life other than himself. We are merely collateral damage and the sooner we accept that the sooner we can breath again.

Sd
X

Superdog, this is exactly where I am now.  OW is extremely controlling and manipulative and H still does not see it.
I too, have to think before I say something when he is here, then shut my mouth knowing it is also about what I want. Very difficult to do.

What I notice on him he is not as "well-kept" as he always was...he was an immaculate dresser and now he is looking more like the lifestyle of the OW (CZ Republic farm life). 
I want to point out to him if he has really looked closely in a mirror lately but keep quiet instead.

He must see this on his own, I understand that now.  He must go on his journey alone, I understand that now too.  I see glimpses of the old H where I think maybe if I push him a bit back into reality it will help...but now is not the time.  In May he will have been involved with OW for 2 years....hoping for that 2 yr schedule where OW starts looking like a normal woman and not his fantasy woman on a pedestal.

He also feels he has lost everything and the only way to go is in her direction.  But he is unhappy, a sad person who is empty inside...I hope one day he sees the way back to me...

SSG