[BB64]

Hi all,
I thought I'd start a new thread for the sitcom as it would be easier to find it that way instead of having to search through my thread for new episodes. It is a work in progress and should go on for quite some time
I am auditioning still  I will need new characters and details to their behaviours. PMs would be the best option for that to keep the thread flowing as it should.

Now the current cast:
Stayed: as herself.
Panda''s h ( I need a nickname for this one)
BN: Claire bear's husband
MR obscurity: Song and Dance's husband
And also featuring the lbs and important figures in MLC such as Mr Limin Ality.

I have a had a few request to add characters and I am working on introducing them in part six.

Today I shall deliver part 5 which I know I have been promising for a while and I am sorry about the delay.
Not all parts will be hilarious, some will contain drama, scenes of nudity and maybe even verbal violence lol

So here, without further ado and staring again with part 1 for those who have missed it:

Scene 1: My mlcer, his friends and me.
Featuring Panda's H, Clairbear's h, Songand dance's h, Snowdrop'S h, My H and their friends jumping along for the road trip of a lifetime....

My h: So what time are we going?
P's: We can't go. I have hidden your keys. Muhahahaha!
Cb's: I am not driving. I can't afford it.
SnD's: I think I will just slip into obscurity, guys. You are obviously having a good time without me.
My H: My balls hurt. I have cystes. And my back is bad, I think I have a broken spine but the pain could be caused by a brain tumour. My hands are bad, too. And my hair. My hair is really bad. Lack of zinc I reckon.
Cb's h: here, have a chocolate fondant. I have some lemons as well.
Look if you don't mind driving, I'll let you have Cb's car , Deal?
My h: ok, I'll drive. What time does the pub open again?
Panda's h: can we go past mine, I need to get a couple of sets of keys and a dozen boxes of paracetamol. Is there a tv in the pub?
CB's h: I don't know. Oh, I have an email. Oh it's Snowdrop's h. He says he ain't coming.
Snd's: Have I disappeared yet?








Edit great idea  for making this it own thread. - OldPilot

[BB64]

Scene 2: En route to the pub with many stops in between. Because nothing is that straight forward in the world of mlc...

My h: So, Panda's H, are we stopping by yours, 1st? What time does your house open?
Panda's h: Anytime the TV is on!
My h: Ok, any other stops we need to make?
SnD's H: Yes, I'd like to stop at my soon to be remortgaged house. I need to ask the wife if she needs a cup of tea.
CB's H: No, I'm fine, I'll just ring them and upset them instead. That'll do.
My h: Ok, I should stop at my old house too to fix the boiler, so I'll just text her to tell her I'm coming tonight but won't bother going until the 15th of never with a new wood burner. She will love me for that...She needs me!
OK, Panda's H, we are here!

Panda's h gets out of the car and walks into his house, sneaks into the kitchen, grabs some pain killers, hides Panda's keys, shouts some abuse  about how Panda is making him do bad things and walks toward the tv and says: ''Boy, there is going to be a big gap in this room when it's gone. Almost as big as me. I'm going out, where is my 1 Direction T-shirt?''
Panda: I don't know, h, last time I saw you in it you were curled up into a foetal position on the sofa. It probably needs ironing now.
Panda's h: Was that necessary! I'm going on the 30th of November. Make that the 20th. YOu can beg me to stay then, for now I am going out!

He gets back into the car and en route to SND's house they go.

SND's H drags himself out of the car and walks towards his family home. Before he gets there, he decides to go into his second home. A very comfortable 2 berth caravan. In there he grabs a hair dryer that he has no use for and feels really good about himself for a split second.
He walks into the family home:
''Hi, where have you been, who with? Had fun did you? You look good. I don't dislike you. Do you want a cup of tea?
SND: Out.
with friends.
I did.
I know I do.
No, no tea, thanks.
SND's h: Guess what! I ate some sweets today! I am so naughty, mummy!
SND:
SND's h: My tummy hurts, mummy! I don't know why. Do you have a bad tummy?
SND: No, I'm fine. Why do do you think you have a bad tummy!
SND's h: I don't know. You didn't ask me what sweets I had!
SND: well, what were they?
SND's h: Liquorice sherberts. It's all I ate today. Sweets.
SND's : Right....(Laughing out loud in her head)
SND's h: Do you want a cup of tea?
SND: No tea thanks.
SND's h: I'll make you one anyway and then I'll ask you if you want another one just in case I forget.
Then I must go. Don't know if I'll ever be back but I will make you more tea in the morning.
SND:

So he gets back into the car. Booboo's h text Booboo:
Text reads as: What time do you shut. Thank you?

They drive off soon after that, en route to the pub where something they do not expect will happen...

[BB64]

Scene 3: Still en route to the pub
My H: Guys we are getting a bit cramped in this girl's car. BN, I think we should drop it off at your new place and we can grab my campervan on the way, it's very roomy and cool. It's old. I like old thing but sometimes I like new things.
BN: Yeah, good idea!
SND's h: Can we stop at a grocesseries store. I really need some Oreos for some reason.
My H: YOu have the munchies? I need a joint!

And so Booboo's h makes himself a real big joint, stinking the car out and not caring because he NEEDS it!

My h: It soothes my anxiety and my stomach. Scientifically proven, that!
Panda's H: I'm addicted to paracetamol, I think.
SND's H: I just want sweet stuff!
CB's h: My wife has a sweet tooth. If she doesn't have sugar, she reacts to my antics in  'funny' way. I always carry treats with me, just in case.

And so they stop at a garage nearby to stock up on crap.
Back in the car, SND's husband is taking much pride in teaching everyone how to eat Oreo biscuits. Much delight can be seen on his face.

They arrive at Booboo's h no man's land home.
They get out of the car and Booboo's h gets the campervan started. It takes him a while, it is old.
They all get comfy at the back, sitting on power tools and random crap booboo's h has been blowing his money on.
They all look suitably impressed with such source of happiness. So many gadgets and useless things, it is like Christmas to them.

Panda's H: Wow, you've got loads of stuff in here. Do you have a tv? Do you need one?
Booboo's h: Nah, I have a i-pad and a ps vita, I am sorted. Compact, non family orientated, all for myself. S'all good!
Panda's H: Yeah, I suppose a big tv would fill that big gap at the back of the van a little too much. YOu need space!

So off they go.
It's a very foggy night, it is raining. Booboo's h notices that a big orange blob is following them. He is worried it might be the cops so he slows down and lets the big orange blob pass.

Booboo's h: Wow, that was an Orange Harley! How cool. I have a bike, did you see it in the yard at my no man's land?
You can't miss it, it's red and it has massive L plates on!
SND's husband: Cool! I have a boat, I have!
CB's h: I have nothing. I am such a loser. I ruin everything. I think my wife wants to stab me 500 times. I haven't even got a knife!
Panda's h: I have a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig TV! And an overnight bag. If my wife and kids think they are having that, they can think again, or at least worry about it, because I'm not sure how I will fit the Biiiiiiiig TV in that small bag of mine!
Booboo's h: Hang on a sec...why is there a cat toy on the dashboard? Where did that come from?
SND's h: That's weird.
BN: Yeah, that's weird. I have a few cats here and there, all look the same to me! Mine don't have toys though. They don't even have names!
Booboo's h: Still, weird, I wonder if it has catnip inside and if I can smoke it!

Afar, through the thick fog, Booboo's h spots a crossroad. As he appproaches the road signs that adorn it, he begins to read them:

He shouts: Right guys, stop licking those Oreos like you are making love to them and help me make sense of those signs! Not sure where to go from here!

The signs read:
To the right: Commonsense city 345 miles via messedup town 3 miles.
To the left: fun town 1 mile
Straight ahead: Road works, no access.

So which way guys?
Cb's h: Definitely to the left. That's where that orange blob took a turn before us after passing us.
Sounds like it could be just what we need!
Booboo's h: Yeah, you're right. The other destinations sound like a right pain in the aris!

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Scene 4:
Fun town

As they drive through the fog , my mlcer and his friends are having a great time in the campervan. It's foggy inside the campervan, too. Smokey rather, as Booboo's H just keeps on smoking.
Boobbo's h gets a text: The text reads as: 'Hi could you forward the Boiler's man number to me, please? Thanks.
Booboo's h reads it out, loud: Here guys, listen to this, my W has just text me this crap!:
''Oi, you useless piece of crap, can you do something right for once in your life and get my boiler sorted asap. You are so not worthy of me, get it fixed or I'll even stop you from coming to my shop, got it?!!!''
CB's H: Oh god, she sounds just like my h with her bizarre reactions!!!!!
Boobbo's h: I know, right! Control freak that she is, nothing I ever do is good enough. I suppose I'll just do as I am told and will do something random for her, just to shut her up and I'll just repress everything. I'm good at that. I wish she would take a leaf out of my book!
Panda's h: You think that's bad? YOu shoudl hear my wife when she goes on about my TV. She wants me to take it so I can be the big bad guy!
SND's: Oh enough about these women, I'm sure we can downgrade and get women who will worship us because they have no idea how messed up we are.

Booboo's h: That's it guys, we're here! Woooohooo, get those 17 year olds arse jigging, boys. This is it and we are it!! Let's Partayyyyyyy! Ouch, my back!!!It looks shut though, I wonder what time it opens. I'll text the W''s mate, Snowdrop, she'll know!
SND's H: It is open! You just can't see through the fog. I can barely see myself but it is open.
CB: It looks a bit isolated here and a bit eerie...You sure we should go in? I am not liking this place.
Booboo's h: Come on, you big Jessies, this is what fun looks like. You've been married for so long you just don't know what happiness looks like. I'll show you!
And in they go...
Inside, a bunch of teenagers are raving away on the dance floor, young girls are necking shot glasses like there is no tomorrow and right at the back of the pub, in a dark corner, a group of midle aged hags are sitting and looking like they are plotting something nasty...The mlcers dismiss them and walk towards what looks like the perfect spot for a night of fun.

[BB64]

Scene 5
Sir Stringalong: Oh, check this out, homies! A whole corner waiting for us just there with real leather seats. That's what I want for my van. I feel right at home here. I wonder if they'd let me stay rent free..
Mr obscurity: I need to stay somewhere rent free, too
BN: me too!
Panda's h: me  too! And I need a big TV there, too.
So  what are we ordering? I want a  pint of lager and I want to sit just below the TV set while I drink it.
Sir Stringalong: I'll have anything that won't give me heartburn/indigestion/headache/ brain tumor. I think I'll have a lemon and ginger tea.
Mr Obscurity: Oh me, too. Tea. Lots of it. And some to take away for my wife, too. She might accept this one if she knows I didn't make it, the cheery, uncaring cow!
BN: I just don't know. I am brassic. I can't even afford a drink for my car, never mind myself. My schmoopie soulmate has me on a budget. She is clever she is, she takes all my time and money because she knows I would only spend it on my kids and I don't need to do that because CB can get a job. I'll get her one if I have to!
Panda's h: Tell me about it! My wife has a job now, too! What is that all about? Why? I bet the kids will be eating beans and pizza every day now. It's all her fault anyway, she is a bad mother. Always trying to tell me that I upset the kids. What planet is she on? She is a bad mother and a bad wife, how is that my fault? She's got a brand new tv now, 3d as well! What more does she want?!!!
Sir Stringalong: Well, mine is a stubborn cow, she won't take money of me because she wants to be fully independent but when she is stuck, she asks me for money. I don't get it, she either wants indepedence or she doesn't! She can let me control her with money one minute and demands respect the next? I think she is in denial and having some form of midlife crisis, she's crazy.

A lot of noise seems to be coming from the people sitting in the dark corner of the room. Cackles and screaching can be heard by the MLCers.
A woman gets up from said table and starts walking towards the mlcers table. She is of a certain age, greying hair and wearing an soldier's uniform. She looks pissed off!
She approaches them:
Sorry, guys, but I couldn't help hearing your conversation-if that's what you want to call it- here and with what I have heard thus far, I can only conclude that you are all Bat$h!te crazy!
What are you all doing here, in Fun town when you should be relieving your wives from parental duties. I am assuming you all have kids with these women?
Sir Strongalong: Yeah, we have, what has that got to do with you anyway? Who are you?
My name is STAYED and sorry, sunshine, but you are not getting away with talking to me like that. Just so you know, that table I came from, I would advise you to stay away from it. Do not even dare looking at us! We do not need your sort round here. This is a well respected establishment and we do not put up with weirdos! And you lot seem to be just that. Weirdos!
This place wasn't called the Hero's spouse for nothing, you know! All those men and women sitting over there with me are all heros and not afraid to defend their patch here, so I suggest you sling your hook with your  pussies drinks and only come back when you can act like men, not boys!
Got it?!!

Mr Obscurity: Guys, I think we best go, this place stinks of 'control'!
BN: I'm not driving.
Sir Stringalong: Too right you're not. My Campervan! Not yours! All mine!
Panda's H: Aw, but the tv has only just come on :/
Sir stringalong: Oh ffs, you and your tv! I'm sick of it! Why don't you just shove one up your rear and be done with it.
Panda's h: All right, you! Was that necessary!
Sir Stringalong: Well, that STAYED woman has really got my goat! I have to take it out on someone and you're there!
Panda's h: Fair play, I get that.
BN: She's made some good points though...
MLCERS ALL AT ONCE: OH shut up, BN!
Panda's h: Yeah, just shoved that head of yours in the sand bag with us. You'll feel better for it!
Sir Stringalong: Let's go then, somewhere we are wanted for our great looks, sophistication, emotional intelligence and where there are no middle aged women with a thirst for power. MAKE SURE SHE HASN'T NICKED YOUR MONEY, WOMEN DO THAT ALL THE TIME!!!!
Panda's: All good here. My tv remote is still firmly planted in my back pocket.
Sir Stringalong: Let's go then!

As they prepare to leave, a strange, hooded man comes out from behind the bar.
Hi, gentlemen. My name is : Mr ality. Limin ality. May I guide you toward a place more suited for your needs and wants?
MR Obscurity: We are going to be fine, thank you.
Sir Stringalong: What sort of a name is that? And what do you want in exchange? My money, my soul, my death?
Mr Limin Ality: Sorry to have bothered you, gentlemen. Maybe we'll meet again in the near future. Until then, have fun, make the most of it.
MLCers all at once again: Yeah, whatever dude!
And off they go again.

[BB64]

A swift little bump before I post part 6 later on today.

[dadspearl]

Hahahahahaha!!!!! I am LOVING this little saga! Sounds like you need a cry baby MLCer. My Alien Boy could fit the bill! Carry on Booboo! I LOVE it!

[BB64]

Hi, Daspearl, thank you. I'm glad someone enjoyed it lol it is very therapeutic for me,
I keep losing my internet connection at work and now my mobile phone has gone bonkers as well. I hope I can get it work today. Pm me some scripts for hour h, Dp, I'll use them in anothr installment