[LisaLives]

slow fade, you should check out the book.  When I read it, I found it so fascinating and then when my life fell apart, I read it again and was so shocked how eerie all the examples were compared to all the stories I hear here and on other MLC forums.  It's an interesting theory by prominent researchers, but it doesn't get a lot of traction. 

[MyBrainIsBroken]

And then, parents see themselves in their kids, they see their traumas, their fears, their family dysfunctions and relive them in mirror.  So, when a now unstable parent, crossing paths with a spouse looks at their same sex oldest child and sees a point in their lives that rocked them (parents' divorce, turbulent adolescence, loss of a loved one), they get sent in a tailspin.  And it was so strange that I read this book right when our oldest son was the age of his father when his own father went on an alcoholic binge, had an affair with the secretary and almost left his mother.  BD was about 2 years later for me... 

I don't see this as anything but a coincidence but the granddaughter that we raised until she was 10 is now 13, about the same age my wife was when her father left home for good. But I think it's more relevant to her MLC that her father died 3 years ago.

[kikki]

You might find something of interest on this thread.

new thread: http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=7973.0