[osb]

Breakfast. I have a hyper-real visual memory of BD, though I can't remember many of H's actual words (all too painful, thank you hippocampus for blocking this). H started his speech while I was eating a bowl of cereal and milk, getting ready for work. I just sat there like zombie. So did the cereal. I dumped it in the disposer several hours later, when I could move again.  Even now I can't sit in that place to eat my breakfast, and I snarf it fast because soggy cereal is a trigger, and so is just talking with my H during breakfast.

[hopeandfaith]

When H uses 'k' instead of 'ok' when texting.  Sounds so teenage and reminds me of when he was with her.  I asked him not to do it.   

When he writes Fark!! Instead of the other word.  This is because he once told me his plane was delayed and used that word to express his frustration.  It wasn't delayed at all.

When he drinks a lot - everything he has ever done to break us was started when he was drunk.

Phones face down - even by accident.  He is mindful of it now.

Names that have anything to do with Rose.

Movies/shows that glorify cheating.

Taylor Swift - D13 loves her but she just reminds me of OW - uggh

[hopeful2]

My church and the worship team which both ow where on and the last one is still on.(we still attend that church)rosesTeddy bears .my first wedding ring set.Wal mart.diamond heart necklaces.cell phones.roller skates.My favorite things h turned into triggers.
I found the more you face the triggers and work through the pain the less affect they have on you.Every Sunday I had the ow and h in the same church for the last seven years .My h had two affairs with sisters that go to our church.I finally got over the first affair and I found out about the second one.It would have been easier to go to another church but that church is my family. I felt God really wanted me to stay and face it.At first I thought it was going to kill me the pain was so bad. Plus the shame of the whole church  knowing.They support me and with God's help I worked thought the pain to healing ,on the first one still working on the second one.

[patience.of.a.saint]

For probably close to two years I couldn't watch any sort of intimacy on TV or in movies.  Felt so stupid - I mean, what does that leave?  Frat house comedies and Judge Judy?      I was never a prude but the infidelity has hit me like a ton of bricks and just changed me.  But I have noticed recently, 3.5 years in, I'll get through a show or a movie and realize that I didn't get triggered, so I guess some healing has happened at a subconscious level.  I didn't try to push my way through it but I didn't want to wallow, either.

Cooking shows work...we rarely watched those so they are safe to watch.

[riverbirch]

We have to get through them eventually.

Over ten years ago we went through crap including my own crisis,his revenge / feel better affair. I had major triggers then too. Our house was a big one. We were separated and I got kicked out. He lived there. When we started getting back together ,going home for me was awful. Just driving through our town was a nightmare and forget downtown where he's favorite skank hole bar was. Music was a big one too. Slowly though I told myself to get through it. Not let them win. I managed it then except for the bar. I hate saying this but I used to wish the place would burn to the ground.

Things are different now though. This hurt is deeper than that time in my life and that was pretty awful. I thought that was the worse time in my life. Boy was I ever wrong.

[i can and will cope]

know what you mean RB as my h had that affair all those years ago left me and son in council house while he bought the house that I now own (he lived in it for a year on his own) karma there maybe but we made it our home for 20 years
never thought he would hurt me againa nd this is the worst thing that anyone can inflict on their wife husband partner .
triggers for me music , going past places where we used to go . sorting through things in the loft (all his stuff and our personal stuff we sent to each other is still there he asked me to give him it againthe other day as if it means something ??

silly things like email from solicitor, also stupid thing really a well known brand of sauces has changed and has the name (spit spit) Maria on the end of it and that triggers for me.

h gone as vanihser again now contacted couple of weeeks ago after 6wks no contact then had car accident last weeks son tweeted as he was with me , h contacted and rang very concerned offer of payment towards car again then about sentimental things and his surround sound ?  then NOTHING again

when does it stop :-(