[UnconditionalLove]

I was thinking about this today.

For those of you who were LBS's and MLC'er left because they were unhappy and as you look back you saw that you were doing most of the work in the marriage and then found to be controlling.  When you reconnect/reconciled did that change at all?  Did your MLC'er come back and pick up some of the responsibility that they didn't before MLC or did they come back and you kept all the responsibility you had throughout your marriage?  I think this would be extremely interesting to know.

[Tsunami]

Stayed posted on someone's thread this weekend, that her daughter made a comment about her husband unloading the dishwasher.  It sounded as if her daughter was shocked.

You might go read some of the reconciliation threads, it's my understanding eventually they do become kinder to the LBS upon return, but it takes time.

Remember the old saying, "You don't know what you got until it's gone."

Hugs,

Tsu

I have an issue with diamondback rattlesnakes here.  Might need you to come down and drive through my yard later.  Lol

[Ready2Transform]

My dad had a crisis, and he's a lot more even tempered and open minded now. Age may play a part, but I think the midlife transition had a lot to do with it, too. He was very rigid before.

[Thunder]

I don't know if my X would take on more responsibility around the house or not.

He's certainly slowly earning how to clean house now.  Never had to do any of it before.
Maybe just learning it is work he maybe would pitch in now.

Of course I'll never know because I don't see me living with him again.

[UnconditionalLove]

I have an issue with diamondback rattlesnakes here.  Might need you to come down and drive through my yard later.  Lol

Haha,  and yet not so funny!  I don't know how you can live with those snakes around you.  I'm still getting over that one I ran over.  I can still feel it under the tire in my head. LOL


I know my ex would do stuff around the house if I asked him too.  He would do just about anything I asked him too.  LOL!  I think where I have issues is not emotionally there.  I don't know what I'm looking for but it would be nice to have a second problem solver around.  I hate that I did all that alone.  Everything big was left up to me to figure out. All the hard stuff He just couldn't help with.  Mentally just not there.  He would agree, whatever I said might be the solution he agree or just sent with it.  I don't want that kind of stress anymore.  I think that is the biggest thing I now realize after looking back.  I was deep into stress and swimming to stay afloat all by myself.

[Slow Fade]

My H came home still broken. He does try harder than he did however. I have to draw him out and ask his opinion and his thoughts and if I'm unclear I ask him to clarify. He in turn will help me with yardwork, picks up after himself and actually picked up an accidental poop from our rescue dog! That was a first!

I think we have both changed. Mellowed. More tolerant. More aware of what we had and what its like to possibly lose it. We seem to be more of a team now every day that passes.