[Loyal]

Attaching

[Still_Standing_UK]

When I created this thread, my H was out of the tunnel and stayed out for four solid months.

I did my reading and knew he couldn't just snap out of it!

He didn't, it was nice while the old H was back, yet ran back in the tunnel.

So any trust established was lost again    I'm not even thinking about trying to trust him again until i see significan't improvement for at least a year!

Hi E,
Last year, when my H came out of the tunnel [for about 2 months], I was so relieved we'd got through "it" and I had no idea about MLC or what was going on so I got it all wrong and he's fully back in there now.
Thanks to this forum etc. I know better. I hope I get another chance.
x

[Whyus]

This is an awesome thread. Thank you all so much.
Im still a newbie. Bd 7 weeks ago. OM confirmed on friday. Whole family is shocked.  W is at SILs. Apparemtly making good progress and realizing what a mess she has caused.
Im at home with our boys waiting for her like a fool.
Ive told her that i can forgive whats been done as it wasnt really her who done it. I cant forgive if anything "new" should happen.
W 43. OM 28-30. Hes obviously bottled it now that its got out and hes already recieved what he was after.
Hope she sees sence. Shes going to regret this oneday otherwise.
Smartphones with Fingerprint recognition paired with whatsapp is an evil combination. I think that if both are prepared to not use fingerprint recognition and maybe a Common passwort it may help.  It doesnt mean that you look in your Partners phone, it just means theres nothing to hide.

[Slow Fade]

Elegance,

Trust, BB hit the nail on the head. When Mr. FH moved towards me, and I knew he was serious about our marriage, I just told him that I didn't trust him and It wasn't my job to make that happen. I let that process for awhile. He became more open about what he was doing and who was on the phone, baby steps. Funny thing by the time we got to that point, I was ready for whatever happened.

Do I trust him, honestly don't think about it much. I know that he knows, if he screws up again, I'm out of there. So, the pressures on him to make things better, not me.

FH

I agree with this 100%. My H is doing the same thing. Baby steps all the way. If he does something that triggers me or raises my eyebrows I call him on it. Usually its innocent and we move on. Its exhausting as my radar is up most days. The ball is in his court to rebuild trust but I also have a lot of work to do to not examine every little detail of our lives. If he messes up again, the truth will come out eventually. Lets just say I'm not giving up my anxiety meds just yet!