[Songanddance]

All in all I feel that the gas lighting is over, I knew all along who he was seeing and this confirmation, even if she may not the current women, actually feels like a weight has been lifted off me.     

I feel that I conducted myself with dignity and poise, I was calm and even got in a few truth darts.  I also think that at the end of the day I am definitely be the better option, lets hope that I am still standing when/if he comes out of this.

This sounds like me four+ years ago.  When you have your suspicions confirmed it's as if you learn that your instinct is still intact and that is a biggie for, in a strange way, it validates you and your core.

Good to read that you remained calm and conducted yourself in a gracious way - it really is the best way to be.  I took up RCR's comment about acting with grace and dignity about 4 months in after BD and that is how I have been ever since.  Irrespective of whether H came back or not - I knew that I had to do it for myself so that I could hold my head high and say " I did nothing to perpetuate your crisis - I am the better option and I am the truer person"

It has sustained me throughout with my stay-at home high replayer. Now OW is gone and he is in the stages of reconnection.  This is not to say that yours will do the same but I firmly believe that being gracious and dignified with the occasional meltdown (controlled or spontaneous) is a good way to pave the way and to help you detach. 

BTW - starting a new thread.
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9306.