[WarriorPriestess]

Love this thread!  I've read a lot of the books listed here already.  My faves include the Divorce Busting and Mars/Venus books.  Tons of great info!  I also like The Happiness Project a lot.  Great for GAL. 

I like to go to local library book sales.  There are usually a ton of self help (and other) books for super cheap, and all the proceeds go to a good cause.  Two that I picked up at the last sale are One-Way Relationships: When you love them more than they love you by Alfred Ellis and The Dance of Intimacy by Harriet Goldhor Lerner, Ph.D.

One-Way Relationships is written by a Christian therapist and focuses on working on one's own codependent issues.  There were some good points made that really made me look at myself, and gave me a couple of a-ha! moments.  But there was also what seemed like a lot of filler. 

I just started The Dance of Intimacy but so far it is very good, and supportive of much of what is posted here on the board, such as focusing on the self, pursuer-distancer dynamic, FOO issues.  I am looking forward to the rest of it.

[Believer]

WP,

I really enjoyed  The Happiness Project as well !! It was an uplifting read. I also enjoyed the book "Happy" by Robert Holden.

I love to read and actually set a personal goal to read 50 books this year ( figured it would help keep me away from thinking,...  actually pursuing H ) I am a little bit behind however I have hit book # 32.

B

[WarriorPriestess]

Oh cool, I will check out that book "Happy" as well.  Thanks Believer, I also love to read!  And I am also diving into my books to help fill the time instead of obsessing on H.  For awhile after BD I was way too depressed to be able to focus on reading at all, so I watched a lot of sitcoms and mindless TV shows.  Even full length movies were too much for me to process at first.  I'm glad to have reached the point where I can focus on other things again, even if only temporarily.  My H is still paying for my Netflix account so maybe I should dust it off and order up a bunch of stuff to watch.  I think I'm in the mood for a French film fest!

[Believer]

I completely understand what you mean about it being nice to finally be able to focus on other things..

I'm not sure if you are a crafting person however in addition to reading I have found much peace in crafts. I make cards and scrapbook etc.  however this past year I have decided that I wanted to paint. I wanted to do something whimsical and fun. I discovered a mixed media artist Christy Tomlinson online. I have just enrolled in a couple of her online workshops !! which works well for me and helps keep it affordable too. My next workshop will be the one called "She has Three Hearts"
I'm looking forward to it - it will be therapuetic for me to look at who I am and come up with the three different hearts.  I have copied the link for anyone who may be interested.
I look at these creative projects as my gift to me.....and the best part you don't have to be an artist to do these ..gotta love that 

http://christytomlinson.typepad.com/christytomlinson/she-had-three-hearts-art-journaling-workshop.html

I realize it's not a book recommendation but it does help us grow...does that count ? 
Believer

[WarriorPriestess]

Oh yay, I love arts and crafts stuff!  Mixed media is so much fun.  I have a few friends that I get together with on occasion and we have craft night.  I get in the mood sometimes on my own as well.  I've enjoyed expressing myself creatively ever since I was little. 

[Surviving]

I just got through reading " Why good people do bad things" by Debbie Ford. Excellent book. It describes the different masks people where to cover up the real issues that are going on inside. It talks about the different personality types. The one that stood out for me was "The People Pleaser" and why we do the things we do and accept less than we know we deserve.

This book almost describes certain personality types and MLC to the T, though its not a book on MLC. Its a book about how our pains from the past can emerge in our life later and cause us to where masks while loosing the true essence of who we really are...sounds familiar? I first got it thinking that it would give me some insight into my husbands head, which I did get alot of, but it also helped to understand things about myself. It really had me peeling away the layers of "me" to dig deep inside.

I highly reccommend this book!

[Surviving]

By the way, you can check your local library for the book. Thats where I got mine from.

Surviving

[BirdSoul]

Just finished the Isabel Gilles memoir, "It Happens Every Day," which is her memoir of being an LBS. It is a wonderful, authentic read, like listening to your best friend, but it is heartbreaking. In fact, it dredged up a lot of pain I thought I had calmed and put aside. Its an especially compelling read for me, as my own divorce approaches.

Her late 30-something husband left her and their two small boys for a colleague after seven years of marriage. I don't know if it was MLC; Isabel was actually his second wife. He had left his first wife while she was pregnant. Isabel did not stand. She does not address the idea in her book. Her H divorced very, very quickly (3 mos) and then married OW and had a baby with her. Isabel has remarried herself. I am now reading her sequel, "A Year and Six Seconds," about how she found peace and love again. It's also very good. I also read some press interviews she did, in which she says she is now friends with OW. But I find this almost super-human.

Isabel Gillies books are far more emotionally honest than a similar divorce memoir I read, "Falling Apart in One Piece," by Stacy Morrison. Her story sounds much more like MLC, but I feel that she glosses over a lot of the relationship issues. Not as validating and inspiring as the Gillies books.

[Stillpraying]

Thanks Believer,
I'm really inspired!.  Just checked out the website sounds like fun but also theraputic.
Mind you, I have 3 quilts and a cross stitch I need to finish too!
A craft store near by is closing down and I'm very tempted to see what I can grab and then sign up.  The 3 hearts sounds like something us LBS's could really get into.

I was thinking about starting a GAL discussion thread where we could all put some ideas down to inspire each other.  Do you mind if I copy your post to it?

SP

[Believer]

SP,

I think a GAL thread is a wonderful idea! And by all means feel free to copy my post to it.

 I just completed my very first quilt recently- a flannel rag quilt! I loved it and it is so cozy!!. I have always wanted to quilt so I am taking lessons. I'm sure I'll end up like you with many on the go.. LOL!

I have an awesome craft room that H had made for me. It is my favourite room in the house. I can get totally consumed in there! I just love it! It really has been my safe haven through all of this MLC turmoil.

Believer