Author Topic: My Story Life is like a box of chocolates  (Read 2772 times)

Online Savoir FaireTopic starter

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My Story Re: Life is like a box of chocolates
« Reply #70 on: May 09, 2018, 08:02:22 PM »
Thanks everyone, this struck me as a certainty:

SF, your exH is consistent. Remember that money drives him. Personally I think he has to be financially separate from you to move through the tunnel because you represent his mother.

Absolutely agree with this reinventing, you know him well ;)

Reinventing asks: What happens if I do nothing? Answer:  xH takes me back to court to get me to do what he wants.  I have to act.

So, I pulled up my big girl panties and phoned my solicitor as the letter has complexities in it they will not take a reply from a mere woman about and I need the big guns for this.  I just have to suck it up and pay more money I don't have :-\

I'm feeling better,  I was allowing the whole situation to get me down and that's not me anymore. I needed to give myself a good slap.   Job doe ;D ;D
"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way. 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8412(Denjef's thread)

Offline 31andcounting

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Re: Life is like a box of chocolates
« Reply #71 on: May 11, 2018, 04:45:33 AM »
Good for you SF!
it takes a strong person to realize "they need a little help!"

(hugs)
31
Hurting people hurt people :(

Offline heroIam

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Re: Life is like a box of chocolates
« Reply #72 on: May 11, 2018, 07:06:52 AM »
Thanks everyone, this struck me as a certainty:

SF, your exH is consistent. Remember that money drives him. Personally I think he has to be financially separate from you to move through the tunnel because you represent his mother.

Absolutely agree with this reinventing, you know him well ;)

Reinventing asks: What happens if I do nothing? Answer:  xH takes me back to court to get me to do what he wants.  I have to act.

So, I pulled up my big girl panties and phoned my solicitor as the letter has complexities in it they will not take a reply from a mere woman about and I need the big guns for this.  I just have to suck it up and pay more money I don't have :-\

I'm feeling better,  I was allowing the whole situation to get me down and that's not me anymore. I needed to give myself a good slap.   Job doe ;D ;D


SF,
Sorry about having to pay more money. 
But don't be hard on yourself.......going up and down the rabbit hole is quite normal.  I do it all the time!  lol ::)
I very much agree with Re-inventing's statement.  I believe money drives my H as well.  As in my case, aka: limbo.
Enjoy your weekend.
“In the end, you’ve got to be your own hero because everyone’s busy trying to save themselves.”

Offline Anjae

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Re: Life is like a box of chocolates
« Reply #73 on: May 11, 2018, 05:06:24 PM »
Glad to know you talked to your solicitor.

Money is Mr. Nithclub middle name.  ::)

We have de facto had separate finances for years. He doesn't give a cent. Can't say it did a think for his moving down the tunnel.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Online hopeandfaith

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Re: Life is like a box of chocolates
« Reply #74 on: May 11, 2018, 05:09:23 PM »

I'm feeling better,  I was allowing the whole situation to get me down and that's not me anymore. I needed to give myself a good slap.   Job doe ;D ;D

Sounds like the slap you gave yourself was more of a 'giddy-up' slap on the a$$ type of slap ;D.  Ride on!!
BD's in May 09, Sept 12 - suspected OW
Left home Jan 12 2013
OW confirmed Feb 2013
Moved home April 11 2014
BD again in April 2017 - clinging. 
Moved out July 2017
D18, D16 and S14

Offline Kanvan

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Re: Life is like a box of chocolates
« Reply #75 on: May 11, 2018, 05:19:54 PM »
Go SF go! You got this girl!
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

You'll search for me inside of everyone you're with and I won't be found." R.H. Sin.

M-48
H-46
S27,S21, S16
Married 12/10/1994
Divorced 4/10/2018
23 years of marriage
BD- June 22, 2017 Moved in with OW-June 24th, 2017
Standing although divorced

Offline The lighthouse

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Re: Life is like a box of chocolates
« Reply #76 on: May 16, 2018, 09:29:24 PM »
Just catching up SF and sending my support.  You go girl!
M 1992
BD June 2011
Still with OW - No legal action

I am the lighthouse. I don't go out into the storm after the ship.  The ship finds me.

Online KeepItTogether

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Re: Life is like a box of chocolates
« Reply #77 on: May 16, 2018, 10:07:47 PM »
Nice work Savvy! It’s hard to do things outside of our comfort zone. And knowing we are potentially rocking the boat and invoking monster. You are awesome.
Me 46
H 45
S11
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo.

Online Savoir FaireTopic starter

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Re: Life is like a box of chocolates
« Reply #78 on: May 17, 2018, 03:40:49 AM »
Thanks for stopping in everyone, makes this journey so much happier for me :)

A letter from xH's lawyer was just full of legal speak, asking me to comply with 'orders' which I am trying to do if he would stop interrupting with his silly letters ::)

I have provided all the information for the property sale, and a new letter from my lawyer is being sent tomorrow, so we will see what happens with xh after he receives it ::)  He always argues and has NEVER once just decided to go ahead with what I suggest which is annoying to say the least.

It's such a long, slow road and I am looking forward to being completely separated from xH and his financial craziness.  As he said in the last line of his email to me a few weeks ago "let's get his done so I can move on with my life and you with yours".  Somehow I actually believe I am am ready for this step more than he is.  Been feeling really happy the past few days, being grateful for my life with S21 and we are planning to get a puppy when the property sells as a mark of a new life/start to the future completely free of any ties to xH and his money madness.  Any relationship with him at that time will be a decision born out of love and not neediness or co-dependence.  That's the thing he was worried about shortly after BD - me not actually needing him a anymore, I wonder if he remembers?
"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way. 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8412(Denjef's thread)

Offline Milly

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Re: Life is like a box of chocolates
« Reply #79 on: May 17, 2018, 01:35:22 PM »
Great, positive steps from you, Savvy. Love the idea of a puppy to inaugurate your stress free new life with S21. Wonderful plan!
Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D23, D20, S13
OW Physical Affair. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 50 last year.

 

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