Author Topic: MLC Monster Lies and More Lies - Why?  (Read 885 times)

Online 20thcenturygirlTopic starter

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 152
  • Gender: Female
MLC Monster Lies and More Lies - Why?
« on: April 12, 2018, 12:36:50 PM »
Since before BD my H has been lying to me.  He has left and is still lying even though there really is no need any more.
His lies are transparent, easily disproved and just so obvious.

Does anyone have an explanation as to why and is this normal behavior in a MLC spouse? 
I'd love any thoughts and examples of bizarre lies you have been told.
 
H 62
Me 51
BD October 31st 2017
Three months of confusion & coming & going
Left Home December 28th 2017
OW living the life with him January 31st 2018 - met her whilst walking dogs, and it is really, really an affair down!
He denies she exists

Offline Unraveled

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 84
  • Gender: Female
Re: Lies and More Lies - Why?
« Reply #1 on: April 12, 2018, 12:43:15 PM »
Mine lies all the time about everything.  I don't call him on it anymore.

Talked to him for the first time recently in six months.  I arranged the call in advance and asked that it be a time he wasn't working.  Committed him at the beginning of the call that he was not working.  Then when it started getting to the difficult topic (trying to get him to file for his divorce), he said I have to go and get back to work.

Tells the kids he can't see them because he is working all the time.  Got his W2 and saw that he made 75% of last year's salary.

If it gets them out of a jam, they'll do like it is nothing.  It's an entitlement thing.  They don't feel you have the right to know anything so they see it as no big deal.

Offline same33

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 340
  • Gender: Male
Re: Lies and More Lies - Why?
« Reply #2 on: April 12, 2018, 12:43:55 PM »
I don't have an explanation, but from everything I've seen it is absolutely normal MLC behavior. The complete transparency and lack of secrets we were once given was fully replaced by lies, deception and betrayal.

Most bizarre lie? "You know I would never do that to you, the boys or my mom." Those that would be most hurt by what she actually was already doing...and the resulting shame that I see on her face so many days...
M-44
W-41
S12, S9, S7
Married 9/25/2004
13 years of marriage
BD#1- December 22, 2014
BD#2- January 2, 2018

Offline Mrs.Smiling

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 486
  • Gender: Female
Re: Lies and More Lies - Why?
« Reply #3 on: April 12, 2018, 01:03:22 PM »
This is one of my favorites....
Lying...It absolutely amazes me that they can get away with it! I mean, they have to continue lying to cover up the old lie, eventually that lie needs to be covered. It is a never ending cycle there. I just laugh now..You have to laugh!

For all the MLC'ers :
I found this awhile ago...Time to share!
Be the best version of yourself... there is no other

Offline Velika

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2682
  • Gender: Female
Re: Lies and More Lies - Why?
« Reply #4 on: April 12, 2018, 06:35:49 PM »
I feel this is one reason that it is important to keep everything in writing. Once everything is in text or email form, you as the LBS at least have a record should you need it.

My ex, too, has lied constantly. The problem is also that I didn’t know what to look for and wasn’t trusting some intuition and warning signs before and even after bomb drop. I was projecting my own honesty onto him.

In retrospect, he was good at lying even before bomb drop. Unless I have some type of medical confirmation that this was a drug reaction or mental illness, I can no longer give him the benefit of the doubt.

Offline bvFTD

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 432
  • Gender: Female
Re: Lies and More Lies - Why?
« Reply #5 on: April 12, 2018, 07:58:41 PM »
Confabulations.

They seem like lies, but they are excuses and stories thought up by a broken brain. It's so firetruck!ng sad.

Offline Mortesbride

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1390
  • Gender: Female
Re: Lies and More Lies - Why?
« Reply #6 on: April 13, 2018, 05:46:30 AM »
Christ mine has lied about buying a coffee when he clearly threw the cup in my trash bin!

Most of the lies mine tells you just think ''who even cares!''  ::)

Honestly it is like a kid. ''Who did that?''..''Wasn't me!''  ???

Online Whyus

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2069
  • Gender: Male
Re: Lies and More Lies - Why?
« Reply #7 on: April 13, 2018, 06:00:54 AM »
so many pointless lies..... 
"W once said "if you dont want me to lie then stop asking questions" i just stood there like  :o
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 44
W: 44
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28. Trainings partner. Still together
2 Sons - 18 & 19
2 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Filed
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0
T10. http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9547.0

Offline mitten

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 162
  • Gender: Female
Re: Lies and More Lies - Why?
« Reply #8 on: April 13, 2018, 06:32:11 AM »
I cant remember there’s been so many lies.  I actually wondered if he was knowingly lying or would just forget what he had said before.  I think the very fact that he lied about ow when I read out the most intimate messages between them.

I think he’s lied to his family the most as they communicate with him more than I do. 

Its strange because I never had issues with him lying before MLC but now I wonder if hes always been a liar?  Or is it part of MLC- opposite to what they were?
Married a loving and devoted husband and father.
No clue he didnt love until BD.
Complete change overnight in to monster.
Live in monster for 8 weeks.
Moved out to sisters Oct 2017
OW discovered as soon as he moved out- older by 10 years, worked for him as cleaner and laundry woman.  Is extremely manipulative. Has 4 children and divorced twice. EA for approx 2 years not sure how long PA.
Has been living with OW since xmas day.
Has confirmed relationship with her through solicitor and going through process of divorce (not wanted by me)

Offline Mrs.Smiling

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 486
  • Gender: Female
Re: Lies and More Lies - Why?
« Reply #9 on: April 13, 2018, 06:42:28 AM »
That is my question too Mitten...I've always wondered that. But it seems according to MIL he has been lying to her since he was 16. So pathological liar he is. Anything that will benefit him in the end right.

WhyUs...

Quote
W once said "if you dont want me to lie then stop asking questions" i just stood there like :o

Your W and my H.... I heard this as well. I also stood there and couldn't say a word. unbelievable.
Be the best version of yourself... there is no other

 

SMF spam blocked by CleanTalk
Legal Disclaimer
The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.