Author Topic: MLC Monster Lies and More Lies - Why?  (Read 2448 times)

Offline mitten

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MLC Monster Re: Lies and More Lies - Why?
« Reply #10 on: April 13, 2018, 07:05:23 AM »
That is my question too Mitten...I've always wondered that. But it seems according to MIL he has been lying to her since he was 16. So pathological liar he is. Anything that will benefit him in the end right.

WhyUs...

Quote

I guess I never had any reason to think he was lying about anything until now. I have found out things since BD of his life before we met that he never told me. Such as his ex girlfriend visiting him when he was abroad- he started taking to me then and said they had broken up then.
Married a loving and devoted husband and father.
No clue he didnt love until BD.
Complete change overnight in to monster.
Live in monster for 8 weeks.
Moved out to sisters Oct 2017
OW discovered as soon as he moved out- older by 10 years, worked for him as cleaner and laundry woman.  Is extremely manipulative. Has 4 children and divorced twice. EA for approx 2 years not sure how long PA.
Has been living with OW since xmas day.
Has confirmed relationship with her through solicitor and going through process of divorce (not wanted by me)

Offline Treasur

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Re: Lies and More Lies - Why?
« Reply #11 on: April 13, 2018, 08:40:33 AM »
Simple really
- shame like a small child
- power like a teenager enjoying the feeling 'getting one over' on you
- control to remove your choices or feed theirs
- avoiding conflict or emotions (yours or theirs) or decisions

Usually, lies are some mix of the four. My H wasn't a big liar but was an avoider with half-truths in his FOO. Didn't think he lied to me about anything significant but now who knows? In MLC, I think it's more about shame and control for him. Mostly shame if I had to guess from limited info e.g. watchgate
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD)
No kids.
BD Oct 15. OW since Apr 16?
H filed Jan 17. Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.

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"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Offline Thunder

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Re: Lies and More Lies - Why?
« Reply #12 on: April 13, 2018, 08:49:08 AM »
I think we have winner in Whyus's W.

If you don't want me to lie, then stop ask question.  Perfect advice. ;D

You know their going to lie so why bother?
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline Treasur

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Re: Lies and More Lies - Why?
« Reply #13 on: April 13, 2018, 08:53:07 AM »
There is a strange practical logic in that with an MLCer isn't there?  ;D
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD)
No kids.
BD Oct 15. OW since Apr 16?
H filed Jan 17. Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.

Grateful for any appearance of the tiny karma bus  
"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Offline 31andcounting

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Re: Lies and More Lies - Why?
« Reply #14 on: April 13, 2018, 09:04:13 AM »
I think it was stayed that used to answer newbies by saying

 " If their mouth is moving they are lying"!   
Believe none of what they tell you!

Unfortunately true!
31
Hurting people hurt people :(

Offline Mrs.Smiling

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Re: Lies and More Lies - Why?
« Reply #15 on: April 13, 2018, 09:17:26 AM »
I have to remind myself this every day....Every. Single. Day.

I know as a child I did some hefty lying..you know the typical - no I didn't ditch school, no that wasn't me.
But it's just amazing that he has gotten this far in life...
What a slow process to learning...
Be the best version of yourself... there is no other

You cant break my spirit, its my dreams you take - James Blunt

Offline 20thcenturygirlTopic starter

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Re: Lies and More Lies - Why?
« Reply #16 on: April 13, 2018, 12:17:08 PM »
Quote
think it was stayed that used to answer newbies by saying

 " If their mouth is moving they are lying"!   
Believe none of what they tell you!

I think this can be my mantra from now on.
There is some wise advise on here and thank-you Treasur for suggestions as to "why lie" - I wish somebody would do a study on it. 

I think I have posted before but before H left my D and I were watching Nigella Lawson on TV and he came in yelling "Get that lying b off my television".   :)
Guilty conscience right there I think.

My favorite from my own H (and there are many to select from) was his saying he was not in a sexual relationship with OW.  This is after he spent several weeks in a hotel room with her at the same hotel as two of his adult children.    Maybe they were playing scrabble.
H 62
Me 51
BD October 31st 2017
Three months of confusion & coming & going
Left Home December 28th 2017
OW living the life with him January 31st 2018 - met her whilst walking dogs, and it is really, really an affair down!
He denies she exists

Offline 20thcenturygirlTopic starter

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H 62
Me 51
BD October 31st 2017
Three months of confusion & coming & going
Left Home December 28th 2017
OW living the life with him January 31st 2018 - met her whilst walking dogs, and it is really, really an affair down!
He denies she exists

Offline Mrs.Smiling

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Re: Lies and More Lies - Why?
« Reply #18 on: April 13, 2018, 12:21:33 PM »
Quote
My favorite from my own H (and there are many to select from) was his saying he was not in a sexual relationship with OW.  This is after he spent several weeks in a hotel room with her at the same hotel as two of his adult children.    Maybe they were playing scrabble

OMG...lol I laughed when I read this...
Yes H said the SAME exact thing...and he was living with her in her rental...You know the famous "you are only assuming", "we are just friends"....mmhmm...
Be the best version of yourself... there is no other

You cant break my spirit, its my dreams you take - James Blunt

Offline Kintsugi

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Re: Lies and More Lies - Why?
« Reply #19 on: April 13, 2018, 01:03:08 PM »
I have said it in other threads and will say it again: I think they lie so much so they can live with themselves.  I have some alcohol and substance abuse counseling experience and have dealt with people who would go to great lengths with their lies to cover up their addiction.  It is almost the same thing. 

One of my favorite lies was "You aren't the nice person everyone thinks you are". 
When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold.  They believe that when something’s suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful ~ Barbara Bloom

 

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