Skip to main content

Author Topic: My Story Reconnecting Bomb dropped in 2008 | Still married and together 10 years later

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 11954
  • Gender: Female
 :o :o  :o
She actually said those three little words?
  • Logged
There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.

W
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 3568
  • Gender: Male
:o :o  :o
She actually said those three little words?

Nice, really happy for you Nav  :D. You waited along time for this and deserve all the joy in the world along with a Purple book  ;)
  • Logged
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 46
W: 46 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 31) Trainings partner. Is tolerated by LaFamiglia
2 Sons - 20 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

S
  • *
  • Mentor
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 5476
  • Gender: Female
Navigator, your last post resonated with me in a big way.

I often wish I just decided to 'move on' but that little voice tells me to wait.  Many times I wish the voice would go away.
  • Logged
"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way. 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8412(Denjef's thread)

T
  • ***
  • Full Member
  • Posts: 197
  • Gender: Male
  • Beaten paths are for beaten men
Everyone here hanging in there?

All good here, just busy working and raising our three children. "Baby" turned 2 last month and loves music DVDs. Sings all the time such that you can recognise the songs.

Wife and I are OK. I had an impromptu day off work the other day as our systems were down, which she was very happy about. This month and next month are lean - no commission - so that has caused a bit of tension.

Best to all,
The Navigator
  • Logged
Bomb & Separation: 28th January 2008
Moved in with OM for 5 months
EA/PA persisted from 2008 to 2010
Kids: DS ( 10 ), DD ( 9 ) confirmed mine with paternity tests
Another DS (3)
MLC lasted 6-7 years

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 11954
  • Gender: Female
Two already?  :o
Well lean times might mean you have to get a bit more creative about quailty time together. Keep communication open. Seems like she wanted to have you around on that day off.

 Count your blessings.
If everyone is healthy and  you can pay the bills, you have a roof over your head, and food on the table.
You are more blessed than you know
  • Logged
There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 16546
  • Gender: Female
Thank you for the update, Navigator.
  • Logged
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

T
  • ***
  • Full Member
  • Posts: 197
  • Gender: Male
  • Beaten paths are for beaten men
Thanks so much for responding everyone.

Nothing much else to write about.  Life consists of work and family. Wife and I still have an active sex life - especially if, like last week, I have an impromptu day off work and it's just us at home.

When I'm not at work I help my children with their homework, go on family outings with W and the three children, work in the garden etc.  Really boring to most onlookers. I thank whatever Higher Power there may be that the two older kids are doing great at school.

There is some travel on the horizon. Barcelona (with work), England this August (family) and Serbia this October (family). We love travel so that's something to look forward to.

My wife and I will celebrate 20 years since we met this summer and will probably drive to France that weekend.

Our oldest son (9) wanted to move his bedroom from the attic into the basement so we helped him do that. I took his bed apart and rebuilt it in his new room.  When I went into his old bedroom and saw it completely empty I felt like sobbing. I thought to myself "This is what it must be like for empty-nesters once the children have moved out, and what we can expect." I absolutely must make the most of the time I have with the children - while we can still speak into their lives - because before I know it they will have left home and be making their own lives.

Sincerest best wishes to all,

The Navigator
  • Logged
Bomb & Separation: 28th January 2008
Moved in with OM for 5 months
EA/PA persisted from 2008 to 2010
Kids: DS ( 10 ), DD ( 9 ) confirmed mine with paternity tests
Another DS (3)
MLC lasted 6-7 years

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 16546
  • Gender: Female
Life consists of work and family.

Seems great if you ask me.  :)

When I'm not at work I help my children with their homework, go on family outings with W and the three children, work in the garden etc.  Really boring to most onlookers. I thank whatever Higher Power there may be that the two older kids are doing great at school.

Normal, non-MLC life is "boring". Think all LBS choose normal "boring" over MLC crazy.  ::)

Hope you and wife have a good 20th anniversary.
  • Logged
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

T
  • ***
  • Full Member
  • Posts: 197
  • Gender: Male
  • Beaten paths are for beaten men
My wife and our three children left for Australia a month ago.

MIL has advanced kidney cancer and W went to look after and spend time with her. She was having immunotherapy but the doctors stopped it as she wasn't responding to her treatment.

She's now in a palliative care home and close to death.

I am flying to join them for three weeks, mostly to unburden my beautiful wife so she can spend as much time with her Mum as possible in her last days.

Really looking forward to seeing my children after a month apart. W and the kids and I have been in constant contact through letters, phone calls and Skype. I've sent the kids lots of letters, activity books and pictures. W has also received her own letters from me and a huge bunch of her favourite flowers for our 20th anniversary, which we spent 10,000 miles apart.

Very sad, mostly because my W is very sad and I want to be there for her.

I have packed a suit in case I have to attend a burial.

In good times and in bad, as long as ye both shall live.

  • Logged
Bomb & Separation: 28th January 2008
Moved in with OM for 5 months
EA/PA persisted from 2008 to 2010
Kids: DS ( 10 ), DD ( 9 ) confirmed mine with paternity tests
Another DS (3)
MLC lasted 6-7 years

  • *
  • Mentor
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 4354
  • Gender: Male
  • Back to being #1 for my daughters!!!!
Hello,

I am so sorry for you and your family at this time. The strength of your family is how you respond to the current situation. A great friend of mine lost her husband recently. This man was her rock for decades and as I entered the service I was worried she would be a wreak.

Instead, she was singing praise to God and was as strong as ever. It is the faith and acceptance of the love of GOD that pulls you together or pulls you apart.

Take care of your family and be the glue that keeps all of you together.

You are in my prayers,

(((((Ready)))))
  • Logged
"Always look in the mirror and love what you see."

 

Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.