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Author Topic: My Story Just checking !

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My Story Re: Just checking !
#110: December 24, 2019, 08:17:52 PM
Seahorse,

Thank for your thoughtful words. 

I agree he is indeed still struggling with demons. A struggle only he can fight at this time.
I suspect the holidays have brought this to the surface for him.  I believe he’ll be overwhelmed and disappear again.

Hugs, Believer

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Re: Just checking !
#111: December 27, 2019, 04:18:29 PM
Thanks for sharing, Believer. As an LBS, I'm always helped by hearing what a MLCer might be thinking at any given time. I agree with Sea, he is struggling with his demons, and he still cares. I suspect it's a touch and go, but I personally enjoy them now when they happen, whilst knowing that's all they are at present.
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Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D25, D22, S15
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

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Re: Just checking !
#112: December 27, 2019, 06:07:52 PM
Milly,

Thanks for popping in. It is interesting to catch a glimpse of what an MLC may be thinking. It was nice too that he didn’t seem quite as lost. Interestingly today is our D’s birthday. ExH hasn’t seen D on her birthday in over 6 years, however he had texted her to arrange to meet for lunch. They did and D said it was actually nice. I’m happy for her that he followed through, I was skeptical given his track record.
As I said I fully expect for him to go quiet again, as I suspect it was the holidays and D’s birthday that brought him temporarily out of hibernation.

Hugs, Believer
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Re: Just checking !
#113: December 28, 2019, 04:25:10 AM
Well that is certainly a change in your H's behaviour with your D. Happy Birthday to your D! Nice that she enjoyed her lunch with her dad. Whenever my H does something he hasn't done in years, I take it as movement, which is still better than being stuck as far as I'm concerned.
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Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D25, D22, S15
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

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Re: Just checking !
#114: December 28, 2019, 01:15:41 PM
Yes, I was pleased she had a nice time. She’s been disappointed many times in the past so this was refreshing !

I agree it’s certainly a bit of movement, and I honestly believe it will be exhausting for him as well.
I’ll leave him be it’s been months since I’d heard anything from him so I anticipate the same again.

As for me, I’m busy working on my house upgrades 😁

Hugs, Believer
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Just checking !
#115: March 01, 2020, 07:12:04 PM
Believer,

I cannot believe that he is married to her and yet lives in his B's basement.  Wow!
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M-42
H-44
S-20 (mine)
D-18 (ours)
S-15 (ours)
Friends 7y before M
Married 14y
BD 12/14/15 - 2 weeks after 14th anniv.
Divorce final 4/13/16
EA - 9/15-4/16
New GF 12/16
Engaged 6/17 (I found out 8/10/17)
Moved to her State 4 States away - 7/13/17 (told me 4 days before)
Eng. off 8/20/17
Moved back to our State 8/24/17
New GF 2/29/20 (Told me 4/22/20)
Marrying her 4/24/20 (Told me 4/22/20)

Link to my journey: 
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11404.0

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

"Sometimes - some things have to break apart so better things can be built."

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Re: Just checking !
#116: March 02, 2020, 05:03:22 PM
FW,

I know it’s absolutely crazy. However by all indications  he’s very happy.
I figure at this rate they’ll be a blissful couple for a very longtime - it’s easy to be excited when you only see each other on weekends.

Oh well,  not a relationship I would wish for so I’ll leave them to it.

Believer
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Re: Just checking !
#117: March 03, 2020, 02:09:38 AM
FW,

I know it’s absolutely crazy. However by all indications  he’s very happy.
I figure at this rate they’ll be a blissful couple for a very longtime - it’s easy to be excited when you only see each other on weekends.

Oh well,  not a relationship I would wish for so I’ll leave them to it.

Believer

It makes sense in a sick sort of way.....

He has his Weekend AD but no accountability during the rest of the week, no responsibility, nothing. He gets his rocks off on the weekend and then has total freedom during the week... I wonder how long it will be before the WOW (Wife/OW) gets tired of the Weekend Willie injection and decides she wants a REAL partner, a real full-time Husband? Or maybe she too is happy with a Weekend Marriage?

Definitely NOT what I'd be interested in...
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Me - 57, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 13, D - 9
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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Re: Just checking !
#118: March 05, 2020, 12:50:24 PM
UM,

You had me chuckling with your description!
I think you are likely right on with your comments, as long as he can avoid being an adult he will.

He had recently texted me about a death of a close family friend, of which I had already been aware of. In his text he was still using “teenage“ acronyms, and I found myself thinking gosh this guy is still unable to make a full sentence.  ???

Oh well perhaps someday he will....in the meantime I’ve got a life to enjoy where I’m living like a mature adult, making decisions and living in my own home.

Hugs, Believer

 
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Re: Just checking !
#119: March 06, 2020, 06:30:44 AM
Oh well perhaps someday he will....in the meantime I’ve got a life to enjoy where I’m living like a mature adult, making decisions and living in my own home.
Hugs, Believer

And that is what is called "Living our best life."
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Me - 57, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 13, D - 9
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

 

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