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Author Topic: My Story Just checking !

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My Story Re: Just checking !
#60: June 02, 2019, 04:26:51 PM
I’ve shared that my exH is getting married next month.
I have been fortunate to have had no interaction with the OW in all these years.
Although that’s truly a benefit for me it’s doesn’t mean I haven’t wondered what she’s like...
I have received snippets of info which validate much of what is expressed about the OW’s character or lack there of.
Anyhow, a wedding invitation was sent to exh and I’s very best friends.
Exh and our friend have been best friends since the age of 7. However since the MLC has happened exh has distanced himself.
This has hurt our friends deeply.
I’m blessed to have a wonderful relationship with them still ♥️.
Anyhow, the OW texted our bf ( male) to enquire if they are attending the wedding. Note the RSVP wasn’t due for another three weeks.
Her text was as follows: hi, this is OW ( using access through h’s phone) I need to now if you aren’t planning to attend the wedding. I must be prepared to support exh when his BF doesn’t show to his wedding”
 Manipulation anyone ????
Our friends were so offended by her text. The male bf will be attending only the ceremony then leaving.
The female BF is not attending at all- she doesn’t like the OW. Btw the OW completely misspelled my BF’s name on the invitation.
He responded that only he would be attending and not for the entire event. The OW never responded.....
Our friends were the only people exh invited to the wedding other than his siblings and our daughter.
I feel a sadness for everything he’s lost and only shake my head that he’s engaging in a marriage with someone so manipulative.
He simply is unable to see anything it seems.
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Re: Just checking !
#61: June 03, 2019, 02:01:36 AM
That seems to be a common theme. They seem blind to it. I have friends who know Ow so they have her on social media. I never told my friends about Ow because I just didn’t tell most people but ow uploaded a photo to her social media where my friends were following her of H in a hotel room. To which I got texts like “why is he in a hotel room with Ow” this was in early January and we split November. I hadn’t told my friends we had split. Me and Clington decided not to tell anyone until 1st feb. I believed this would give us enough time to fix things but for Ow to post that photo showed me everything I needed to know. And since then it’s been constant. Once I got over the initial embarrassment it’s been handy to have my friends still follow her because I get more of an insight so I can detach more because I know she’s crazy. But Clington can’t/won’t see it. I don’t know which it is but it’s a can’t or a won’t.
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Me - 28
H - 35
3 children together D3 D6 D8 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

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Re: Just checking !
#62: June 03, 2019, 03:00:33 AM
Good lord, B, even when we don't look the universe seems to have a way of confirming that these ow are a standard type. What a peculiar message. Controlling, whiny, bit of drama and manipulation...nice...just the kind of thing for a 'happy' event....when either a factual check for catering numbers say or a short call from your xh to HIS BF is how normal people behave.

I'm glad that your friends - and you - are finding a gracious respectful way to navigate this insanity that protects your friendship. It is logically unlikely of course that ow's penchant for control, drama, victimhood and manipulation only shows up in that one text message in how she lives her life, so if nothing else you can feel reassured that she is not marrying someone like you did and that karma has started to do its job in your xh's life with probably lots more to come  :). And that you and your son will be happier staying as far away as possible from that kind of crazy...
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T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

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Re: Just checking !
#63: June 03, 2019, 02:55:45 PM
Believer, it sounds as if OW expected a "NO" for BF attending. Maybe that's what she was hoping for. Glad BF will go to the ceremony but not the celebration. There is nothing to celebrate.

I hope that you will be ok. I am sure it stings. If my xH married OW, I think I would LMAO. He would so deserve it.
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trying2bok

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Re: Just checking !
#64: June 03, 2019, 06:16:31 PM
Sachat3,

Yes, it’s sometimes interesting to hear what the OW antics are. Although I am grateful to not be subjected to it very much. I don’t do stupidity well  ;)
They are indeed blind to the OW. Oh gosh uploading pics with h at a hotel....good grief !

Treasur, 
Exactly, the most appropriate step would be for exH to reach out to his BF and have an adult conversation. Nope, gotta have his “heroine”  take care of him.
Our bf’s are incredibly gracious and kind friends - its truly exh’s loss. As our BF said he’s going only because of their long term friendship and certainly not because of the relationship they have now.
So true about the reassurance the text provides about OW and and the kind of man he presently is. 
The best part is that after the wedding he’ll still live in our hometown and she’ll live in hers...2.5 hrs away. He doesn’t want to move until he retires which is atleast one year although he’d said to me he didn’t plan to retire early so he’d probably work longer. Gee wonder if OW knows ...better yet does she know he told me that. Oh heavens she’s won herself a prize !!

Learning,
That’s exactly what we were thinking. She didn’t want them to show for the wedding. She likely had it all planned how she could tell exH how bad these people were that they wouldn’t even attend their wedding...blah blah blah.
Our bf’s were funny though...they decided not to give a gift to them because they didn’t want any gift sitting in OW’s house ( exH is still living at his brother’s home - yep family dysfunction) while exH lives here. So they are making a donation in their name to get this...the animal rescue that I volunteer for and from which our bf’s adopted their kitty :-)
Yes, it really stung when I learned he was remarrying, however I’m in a much better place than I was. I’ve also accepted some extra shifts at work during that time just to help keep me distracted. I’m sure i’ll have a few tears that day, but I know it will quickly clear too.
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Re: Just checking !
#65: June 04, 2019, 12:34:24 PM
What’s funny is, Clington must have refused to pose for a selfie. So she took one of herself on the hotel bed and only managed to get his arm in which is heavily tattooed. My friends saw the photo scrolled past it. I saw it and my heart sank. I knew it was him from the tattoos. She clearly didn’t get the reaction so she had to comment “when @clingtons Instagram account is snoozing so you take a selfie” and that’s when the floodgates opened
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Me - 28
H - 35
3 children together D3 D6 D8 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

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Re: Just checking !
#66: June 04, 2019, 02:45:45 PM
Sachat3,

Oh gosh I can feel your heart sink when you recognized the tattoos. I’m sorry you experienced that.
However gotta just laugh at the OW’s antics utter absurdity.

Hugs to you Sachat3!
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L
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Re: Just checking !
#67: June 04, 2019, 03:24:48 PM
Believer, I think that the "wedding gift" is an awesome idea for the Bf's to give. I wonder if the OW will catch on that it's really an in-your-face to her. LOL! And, after the nuptials they're going to live apart for at least a year?! Boy is she getting the booby prize. He sure is all in with the relationship isn't he?

It really is incomprehensible how their brains actually work.
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trying2bok

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Re: Just checking !
#68: June 04, 2019, 04:07:42 PM
Learning,

I honestly don’t think she’ll clue in although I know exH will realize it. However...exH certainly won’t engage in a conversation with her about it. That would involve conflict and exH runs from that. ::)
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Re: Just checking !
#69: June 05, 2019, 03:16:26 AM
I mean at the time my heart sank but then as we already split and he moved out part of me is grateful it happened then. Now I just look at her antics as an outsider and I can see she is desperate.

There was a quote I saw online and it’s so appropriate and I can’t share to my socials hahaha. It goes

My revenge is for you to keep him, because I know your gonna go through hell.

I also love the wedding gift. It’s good you have friends like that.
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Me - 28
H - 35
3 children together D3 D6 D8 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

 

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