Author Topic: My Story Need to love myself so I can love my neighbor aka STBXH. Compassion 4 me first  (Read 3713 times)

Offline FamilyIsMyGoalTopic starter

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  • Gender: Female
Oh Thunder, that is what I'm going to say next time! Exactly that!   Thanks for the responses. I will have to catch up with everyone
Divorce Bomb August 6, 2017
Married 19 years
Together 22 years
Divorced as of January 2019
I don't think I'm standing, but who knows what the future brings.
Two Teenage boys
Me: 55
H 59
OW? I don't know - probably plural

Offline Schratz66

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  • Gender: Female
Congratulations on the job - how awesome is that and a great work environment is much more important than money. So happy for you.
Me 52
H 51
AD 22 from previous R
Known H since 1993
Together since 2000
BD 06/21/2017
OW High School Sweetheart lives 4 hrs away

Offline FearNot

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  • Gender: Female
Congrats on the new job Fam! A little late but <BIG HUGS>!!
M 46
H 40
No Kids
Married 5yrs, Together 11yrs
BD Oct 31/17
ILYBINILWY Dec 21/17
2nd BD- Dec 27/17
OW-Confirmed Jan 3/17

 Isaiah 43:1 " But the Lord says.. Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. "

"It's ok to be scared. Being scared means you're about to do something really, really brave." Anonymous

Offline FaithWalker

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Awww, congrats on the new job!
M-40
H-43
S-18
D-16
S-13
Friends 7y before M
Married 14y
BD 12/14/15 - 2 weeks after 14th anniv.
Divorce final 4/13/16
EA - 9/15-4/16
New GF 12/16
Engaged 6/17 (I found out 8/10/17)
Moved to her State 4 States away - 7/13/17
Eng. off 8/20/17
Moved back to our State 8/24/17
Saw his POF the first month back
1.5y later no signs of anyone new - workaholic

Link to my journey: 
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10630.new#new

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

"Sometimes - some things have to break apart so better things can be built."

"If we don't take time to heal, we will bleed on people who didn't cut us."

Offline FamilyIsMyGoalTopic starter

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Thank you all for being here! I just wanted to update what's going on with me.  I haven't been on the forum much because I'm focusing a lot on all the new changes in my life and dealing with them.  I miss you all and think about everyone a lot though!  You are all in my prayers.

My divorce is final as of January.  I had to do it to protect myself. The finances are almost completely settled and I feel like I can form a clear financial direction for myself.   I don't know what's going on much with ExH because he monstered so much at me that I had to go very dim and dark.  I do know that he is on Match .com a lot.  (Ok, that's the only place I stalk him a bit).  So he doesn't have a permanent girlfriend as of right now.  I am doing pretty well on the outside and mainly on the inside too.  Still feel very traumatized and I guess that lasts a long time.  I don't have much interest in dating.  I'm still feeling so raw!  And for me, I think the whole point of relationships is family.  Now that that's been blown apart, I don't really understand the point. 

My job is mainly good.  BUT I have one boss that can can get really not nice when she is frustrated to the point of where I feel stupid.  She is demeaning at times.  So I feel like the Universe is sending me another situation where I have to figure out how to set boundaries.  I don't know how to confront her (as she is my boss) professionally, but I know I have to do it.  Prayer and my Higher Power have gotten me through this.  My Higher Power has brought me here to this forum and so many beautiful angels in my life.  I am so grateful to have gotten through the darkest part of this breakup because there was awhile when I really wasn't sure I could come through it.  Love to you all <3

p.s.  We are now sharing custody. My boys go to his place every other week.  Different from first year when he was MIA a lot and living a chaotic life.  Instead of making them go to his one room cabin, he rented a place this year that has three bedrooms. 
« Last Edit: March 17, 2019, 09:00:28 AM by FamilyIsMyGoal »
Divorce Bomb August 6, 2017
Married 19 years
Together 22 years
Divorced as of January 2019
I don't think I'm standing, but who knows what the future brings.
Two Teenage boys
Me: 55
H 59
OW? I don't know - probably plural

Offline FaithWalker

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Great to hear an update Fam.  I understand how you feel about the dating aspect.  Not to mention that the dating pool is severely limited in comparison to starting out in life.

Sounds like dating websites are the norm for these MLCers, ugh.

I can also identify with you on job stuff.  I've had to deal with some challenges in that area as well.
M-40
H-43
S-18
D-16
S-13
Friends 7y before M
Married 14y
BD 12/14/15 - 2 weeks after 14th anniv.
Divorce final 4/13/16
EA - 9/15-4/16
New GF 12/16
Engaged 6/17 (I found out 8/10/17)
Moved to her State 4 States away - 7/13/17
Eng. off 8/20/17
Moved back to our State 8/24/17
Saw his POF the first month back
1.5y later no signs of anyone new - workaholic

Link to my journey: 
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10630.new#new

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

"Sometimes - some things have to break apart so better things can be built."

"If we don't take time to heal, we will bleed on people who didn't cut us."

 

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