Author Topic: Discussion They say they become the opposite...how has yours?  (Read 1140 times)

Offline Didot49

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Discussion Re: They say they become the opposite...how has yours?
« Reply #20 on: June 12, 2018, 05:47:44 AM »
The thing that struck me as the most odd was H used to be punctual to the point where he would be calling you if you were a minute late to meet him. Now he's late very often.

He grew a scruffy beard. I've known him 34 years and he's always been clean shaven.

Never the type of guy to cry, in the last two years he has cried a lot.

When I met him I was very shy, and the type of girl who was indecisive. He was always very opinionated, confident and sure. I have never known someone say " I don't know" as much as he has done in the last two years.

To be frank, I sometimes feel that his crisis has triggered a change in me. I'm the one behaving in an opposite way these days. I've gained confidence and am far more outgoing. I noticed before he left that it was always me trying to persuade him to go out, and he would say that he wasn't feeling sociable. That was how I was when we first started dating.

 

Offline What now

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Re: They say they become the opposite...how has yours?
« Reply #21 on: June 13, 2018, 11:04:10 PM »
I had to comment on this thread because some of his changes laughable and so far from what I consider to be the true him.

  • His kids were his world and he wouldn't let anyone say anything bad about them. After he, he joined in with ow when she had a fb spat with SD and told SD she was in the wrong even though ow attacked her
  • He was another who wouldn't really go out of our town. Now he has frequent trips with ow and her boys
  • When we first met, I used to wear a trapped type hat in the winter. I was only a teenager and he hated it. I think he actually threw it away after I left it at his once because he hated it that much. Guess what he wears now.......? 🤣
  • His dad would wear slip on pumps (don't know the name of them in the US) and would do it without socks and trousers that stopped on the ankle so they looked short. He wears the same now
  • He spends a lot of time on his appearance. Before BD, he would shower every day but shave every 3rd day, every week if he could manage it because he has sensitive skin. Now, he shaves daily. He got his hair cut every 8 weeks. Now it's every 4. They trim his eyebrows too now
  • His hairstyle has changed to a much younger one (the same one my son had and he is 5!)
  • He wasn't really on fb before and when he was, it was about his business. Now, the shares something at least every hour. He also has an account on every other social media platform where he wouldn't before. He would laugh at people who lived on social media and now has doing it. He used to love his privacy and kept his life off Facebook, now he doesn't even pass wind without documenting it somewhere for the likes
  • He hated having his photo taken but when he did, it was always fun and natural. Now, he's a selfie king and all his pictures are posed with the right filter and he never smiles
  • He did drink before but now he drinks ten fold and takes drugs. He condemned the sort of people he knew that did that, especially with a family and now look at him
  • He would berate men who didn't have anything to do with their children. He's now more or less one of them men! He sees them irregularly, when it fits into his life
  • He was a really good dad. I never had an issue with him taking care of them. After BD, he became neglectful towards the kids, leaving them in a room alone overnight so he could go and get drunk in his pub beneath the rooms to name one thing

These are just a few that I know of but I've more or less had no contact since about 3 months after BD

Like others, I think most of these are to fit into owe life. She didn't like the music he listened to in his car so she has changed that. She is diagnosed bipolar and he really does mirror her.
Me 34
Him 46
S 4, D 9, SD 20, SS 24, SD 27. 6 grandchildren.

BD#1 August 2015 - i think i should move out and carry on as we are because i love you but it would work better
BD#2 December 2016 - moved out
ow- 27 with 3 young kids. They don't live together

Offline Nevertoomuch85

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Re: They say they become the opposite...how has yours?
« Reply #22 on: June 14, 2018, 08:19:50 AM »
It's almost as if they are stuck on the opposite side of the mirror where everything is opposite including the way we have to deal with them.

Offline Shocked

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Re: They say they become the opposite...how has yours?
« Reply #23 on: June 14, 2018, 01:42:31 PM »
I have to say this is great observations! Mine is a part of the opposite personality club too. There were many of these changes for the year before BD I just dismissed them because we had a lot going on. He went from being very financially responsible to never caring about what something costs. He never wanted to be on pharmaceutical medication to taking several different meds a day. Including hormones replacements without my knowledge. He was diligent about caring for his car. Changing his oil monthly because he was a rep on the road and his car was so important to having his engine fail because he failed to put oil in it. The car died and he had to buy a new one. The are many other small ones but the one I’m most shocked by is he now a cigarette smoker. He would always go crazy that people smoked. I really miss my old H but I would never trust any this new guy says or does!!!
I care🤗
H 51
W 58
M 22 Years
2 AD both married from my first M
BD 12/15 moved out-in replay, vanisher, MOW in Atlanta
D 2/17

 

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