Author Topic: My Story No I don't Want Any Guinea Pigs  (Read 557 times)

Online DumbfoundedTopic starter

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My Story No I don't Want Any Guinea Pigs
« on: June 13, 2018, 11:29:35 AM »
Time for yet another thread.

I don't know how many threads I have had here on HS. I have no idea how many threads and how many hours I have spent pouring out my heart to strangers on the internet about my broken heart and life when RL just didn't support or understand me. Now you are all people I can't imagine not having in my life.  I hope someday to be able to meet some of you in RL.

I actually had to count the months post BD because I just stopped keeping track at some point after the 2 year mark. I am at 27 months post BD.  LB is as lost as ever in the fog of MLC and I have no hope of his return.  I miss being a family. I miss being able to provide normalcy and stability to my kids by way of a nuclear family. I feel sad that everything is a drama for them - events and special occasions, vacations and holidays that just used to be about family time and being at home together is now about parenting time and being shuffled all over the place between people who can't get along.  It is just plain sad.

Anyway, when last we left off XBIL's GF had contacted me via messenger to see if I would take her 2 unwanted guinea pigs.  :o  I didn't respond.  I took in her unwanted rabbit last year. Since then I really haven't heard from her.  I now have the expense and mess of a rabbit. I wasn't invited to my nephews graduation or birthday. She hasn't checked on me.  She didn't speak a word to me a D's spring concert. In fact, she stormed passed me at one point looking mad at the world.  Do I look like an animal sanctuary? Do I look like I need more things to feed and keep up after?  I was ranting to BFF last night.... what kind of human being contacts someone only when they need to dump an unwanted animal? Do I have "please use me for your personal dumping ground" written on my forehead?  What is wrong with these people? Rude. 

Later last night I got a message from LB on the co-parenting app asking if I would take GF's Guinea Pigs for D. Really?  See above rant and include more ranting about how he has left me to deal with the house, finances, the animals and the kids all on my own and now wants to ADD to the things I have to take care of and pay for on a daily basis. You want D to have the Guinea Pigs - keep them at your house.  Did MIL come home to a pet infested house and now they are under pressure to unload? Well, that is not my circus, not my monkeys or.... um pigs. I am no longer your problem solver.

I had to snicker because when I took in GF's rabbit last year MIL called me and was furious that she would dump an animal on me when I was trying to take care of everything by myself. Well, not this year. I am no longer a dumping ground for their problems. Thanks MIL for the lesson.   

I haven't yet responded to either message. BFF says I should just ignore them rather than giving them my time and attention. I just can't seem to compose a business like response this time around.


       








http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10012.0;all
Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

Online stillbaffled

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Re: No I don't Want Any Guinea Pigs
« Reply #1 on: June 13, 2018, 11:37:29 AM »

I haven't yet responded to either message. BFF says I should just ignore them rather than giving them my time and attention. I just can't seem to compose a business like response this time around.


At the end of your last thread I wrote that I hoped you had responded with a polite (or maybe not so polite) no. 

I've changed my mind.  I simply wouldn't respond to either one of them.  For me, I've found that saying nothing at all is my best option.  I'm always afraid that if I say anything I'll open the floodgates and then I'll really let loose! 

As always, still hangin' with you, DF. 

Meeting folks from this forum in person is high on my list of travel plans if I ever get to retire. 

After all, tomorrow is another day.
Together 16 years - married 6
BD - 1/1/16
His divorce final 7/16
Married OW - 7/17
a consistent semi-vanisher in the same small town

Online RedStar

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Re: No I don't Want Any Guinea Pigs
« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2018, 11:40:25 AM »
Stillbaffled is right...give them nothing to push against. Good for you!

Online Nevertoomuch85

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Re: No I don't Want Any Guinea Pigs
« Reply #3 on: June 13, 2018, 11:46:49 AM »
Best thread title ever! Made me belly laugh. Your BFF is right though. Don't respond. Definitely not your monkeys or uh, guinea pigs.
« Last Edit: June 13, 2018, 11:48:01 AM by Nevertoomuch85 »

Offline Schratz66

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Re: No I don't Want Any Guinea Pigs
« Reply #4 on: June 13, 2018, 12:00:48 PM »
Unreal - just ignore the message
Me 50
H 49
AD 20 from previous R
Known H since 1993
Together since 2000
BD 06/21/2017
OW High School Sweetheart lives 4 hrs away

Online KeepItTogether

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Re: No I don't Want Any Guinea Pigs
« Reply #5 on: June 13, 2018, 12:20:24 PM »
Love your spunk DF. You are a survivor for sure. Always blows my mind the amount of nerve some of these people have.

I agree with Never—best title ever! Those little piggies should stay put in their pig-pen.  ::)
Me 46
H 45
S11
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo.

Online Treasur

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Re: No I don't Want Any Guinea Pigs
« Reply #6 on: June 13, 2018, 12:24:41 PM »
Definitely best thread title EVER!
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD)
No kids.
BD Oct 15. OW since Apr 16?
H filed Jan 17. Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.

Grateful for any appearance of the tiny karma bus  
"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Offline heroIam

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Re: No I don't Want Any Guinea Pigs
« Reply #7 on: June 13, 2018, 01:13:04 PM »
Following along DF.  :)
“In the end, you’ve got to be your own hero because everyone’s busy trying to save themselves.”

Offline Mae

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Re: No I don't Want Any Guinea Pigs
« Reply #8 on: June 13, 2018, 01:30:08 PM »
Laughed when I saw the thread, good job on that one DF AND with not responding.....no response IS the best response.

Hey maybe you are starting a thread title trend, I'm sure each of us can come up with a ridiculous statement from our own dealings with crazy or crazy's family with this tacked on - (WTF)
« Last Edit: June 13, 2018, 01:35:19 PM by Mae »
Me: 50
H: 40
S19, D15
Together for 19 years
BDay in 2004, 2011 and now March 5 2017
Ran away on 5 March BD
No OW
Returned home 'underdone' 1 July 2017.
Left again 22 October 2017.
H - Silent and non-communicative
Me - Letting go and moving forward

Offline FearNot

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Re: No I don't Want Any Guinea Pigs
« Reply #9 on: June 13, 2018, 01:51:39 PM »
Attaching DF... I saw the title thread and had to check it out. Now I have to go back and catch up on what's happened pre-pig days!
M 46
H 39
No Kids
Married 5yrs, Together 11yrs
BD Oct 31/17
ILYBINILWY Dec 21/17
2nd BD- Dec 27/17
OW-Confirmed Jan 3/17

 Isaiah 43:1 " But the Lord says.. Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. "

"It's ok to be scared. Being scared means you're about to do something really, really brave." Anonymous

 

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