Author Topic: My Story No I don't Want Any Guinea Pigs  (Read 680 times)

Offline CallingHeart

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 621
  • Gender: Female
  • Vanisher
My Story Re: No I don't Want Any Guinea Pigs
« Reply #10 on: June 13, 2018, 02:00:55 PM »
I think you should absolutely respond so that you dont end up with your D bringing home a GP saying... "please?"
Also, here is an awesome opp for a truth 2x4

Response to SIL (not H) !!

No thank you regarding the GP
I hope the animal finds a good home someday.

(there is a subliminal message there....)
Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.

It's no longer all about MLC!  
Pfffffffftttt !

Offline Acorn

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1376
  • Gender: Female
Re: No I don't Want Any Guinea Pigs
« Reply #11 on: June 13, 2018, 05:50:20 PM »
Guinea pigs. Stranger than fiction.  Please tell me you made up the story, DF.  ;D
She might try to sweet talk your D into adopting GP’s.  If she is mean enough not to invite you for celebrations but was willing to dump pets on you before,  she can certainly try to persuade D to take the rodents.  Put your bada** hat on and stand guard against the invasion of the mighty rodents! 
Feb 2015: H has a Nuclear meltdown.  A tear-fest.  The next morning arctic cold descends.
Apr 2016: Affair discovered
Still home

Offline handpuppets

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 876
  • Gender: Female
Re: No I don't Want Any Guinea Pigs
« Reply #12 on: June 13, 2018, 09:33:51 PM »
Guinea pigs. Oh, my Lord. You really cannot make this stuff up.

Attaching, DF. <3
“Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.” -Anne Lamott

Offline UrsaMajor

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 5839
  • Gender: Male
  • You can't please everyone, you aren't a pizza
Re: No I don't Want Any Guinea Pigs
« Reply #13 on: June 14, 2018, 01:56:07 AM »

Me - 54
MLC - 47
Together 20 years - Married for 17 at separation
S - 11
D - 7
2 Canines (each of us has one)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold and separated - March 2016
Mid-Lifer is initiating D

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline FaithWalker

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1971
  • Gender: Female
Re: No I don't Want Any Guinea Pigs
« Reply #14 on: June 14, 2018, 10:58:41 AM »

We just can't make this stuff up, can we?
Friends for 7 years before dating
Married for 14 years
BD 12/14/15 - 2 weeks after 14th anniversary
Divorce final 4/13/16
EA - 9/15-4/16
New GF 12/16
Engaged to her 6/17 (I found out 8/10/17)
Moved to her State 4 States away - 7/13/17
Engagement off 8/20/17
Moved back to our State 8/24/17
Joined POF within the first month back

Link to my journey:

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Never become a container for bitterness.  Bitterness is a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

"Sometimes -- some things have to break all apart so better things can be built."

Offline DumbfoundedTopic starter

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2020
  • Gender: Female
Re: No I don't Want Any Guinea Pigs
« Reply #15 on: June 16, 2018, 08:54:45 PM »
Although I have not responded, I have read and reread your posts this week.

UM and FW - those GIFs provided much needed humor this week.

Callingheart and Accorn - You would both be right to assume that my last post was not the end of the Guinea Pig story.

FearNot - I am afraid my back story is the same as everyone else.

Welcome back Mae, Hero, Treasur, KIT, S66, Never, Redstar and SB. I never responded to GF or LB.

So my Partner’s Mom died and all hell broke loose at the office this week. I had to add a funeral and a major shuffle of work responsibilities to the end of the school year madness. Needless to say, I was running on a short fuse every second of every day this past week. I came home after the funeral to mail that needed to be addressed immediately and was trying to deal with that in my I was hoping to get to yoga outfit when D strolled in to ask if she could have 2 Guinea Pigs.

Well, I lost my Guinea Pig cool and D got a big earful of why I was not a dumping ground for Guinea Pigs or rabbits or turtles and when I inquired into who exactly was trying to dump something that eats and poops on my doorstep D said MIL. Oh really? Has MIL offered to fund your new pets with a lifetime supply of bedding and food and vet care? No? Well, then please tell MIL that am  I am sorry she has come home from Myrtle Beach to a small animal farm in her home but I am in no position to assist her. To which D replied ok and left the room.

I then called my IC and made an emergency mental health appointment. I ranted at my poor IC about Guinea Pigs for 20 minutes and then I asked why, why can’t I type no thanks and be done? To which my IC looked at me with amazement and said there is all this other stuff going on and they are ganging up on you about Guinea Pigs? Yes. And then she said they are trying to make a reconnection with you without addressing all the hurt and the anger. That is not ok - of course you are upset. Please feel free to slam the door in their face. Oh thank goodness!! Door slammed - guilt free.

I took a long walk with D tonight and she talked to me about LB and his family a lot. Nothing I really didn’t know already but it was interesting to hear how she is processing the whole situation. In the end, D has come to all the same conclusions as me. It is a dysfunctional mess.

To my utter amusement, the kids have talked LB into taking them into NY tomorrow to see a show on Broadway.  So a kid free day for me. Thinking about a pedi and lunch with my Mom.
« Last Edit: June 16, 2018, 08:58:54 PM by Dumbfounded »
Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

Offline Reallytrying

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3150
  • Gender: Female
Re: No I don't Want Any Guinea Pigs
« Reply #16 on: June 16, 2018, 09:10:35 PM »
I know you are not amused but I chuckled reading this. Why would they think you’d want guinea pigs? I so don’t understand how people think. MIL needs to deal with her own animal sanctuary and leave you out of it.

Enjoy the day with your mom.

Online stillbaffled

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3796
  • Gender: Female
Re: No I don't Want Any Guinea Pigs
« Reply #17 on: June 17, 2018, 07:42:08 AM »

Thinking about a pedi and lunch with my Mom.

I hope you've already made the arrangements, DF!

And hey, big shout out to S's bball team - way to go!   By the time he hits the NCAA I'll be retired and can travel to attend games with you!   ;)

After all, tomorrow is another day.
Together 16 years - married 6
BD - 1/1/16
His divorce final 7/16
Married OW - 7/17
a consistent semi-vanisher in the same small town

Offline Reallytrying

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3150
  • Gender: Female
Re: No I don't Want Any Guinea Pigs
« Reply #18 on: June 17, 2018, 08:10:32 AM »
By the way - my D would love those ghost walks. Always begging me to find some. Our kids sound so similar. Hope you are planning a nice day.

Offline OffRoad

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2658
  • Gender: Female
Re: No I don't Want Any Guinea Pigs
« Reply #19 on: June 17, 2018, 10:08:57 AM »
So guinea pigs....I can attest to the fact that they are far more effort and, imo, mess than a cat. At least a cat poops in one place. I got the plea from children an XH back when we were a famiky. We ended up with 5 at one point, in a three level three foot by six foot cage in the corner of the family room. The piggies had nicer digs than I did. The last one standing lived 10 years. And guess who had food and waterms and clean up duty when everyone else "forgot"?

My daughter wonders why I have no pets now. Maybe some day, but not now.

I liked Calling Hearts 2x4, btw. Very appropriate. And yes, DF, did your IC  explain that the word "No."  Is a full sentence, one you may use at anytime you choose and guilt free? (Fat free and calorie free, too, but that's just a bonus). I'm of the mind that when people ask you to do something you don't want to do, assertively saying, "No." Or "Not this time." Or "No, thank you." without an explanation is the best course. They can't give reasons why your explanation can be mitigated if you give no explanation. It is not your problem if someone else chose a pet they now decide they don't want. That's on them.

It is your right to say "No." 

When life gives you lemons, make SALSA!


SMF spam blocked by CleanTalk
Legal Disclaimer
The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (, and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.