Author Topic: Mirror-Work Putting a Challenge Out there for All  (Read 3587 times)

Offline Sam I AmTopic starterTopic starter

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Mirror-Work Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« on: July 05, 2018, 10:35:06 AM »
Hello All!

I have challenged myself to do something special for myself everyday.  Take time to focus on me.  This can be anything...does not have to be big and expensive, I have committed to spending at least 30 minutes a day for me.

I am asking all of you to join along with me and share the things you are doing for yourself.

I'll get it started.

1.  I spend at least 30 minutes a day exercising.  Mostly walking but occasionally running.  I want to do a 5 k before the end of the year.  Great way to help clear my brain and listen to some good music or recorded messages.
2.  I go to bed 30 minutes early every night now and spend that time reading.  I found that I am now falling asleep easier and sleeping better and waking up more refreshed compared to falling asleep with the TV on.
3.  Twice a month I get my nails done.
4. Once every month or two I go for a massage.
5.  I try to pick a place I want to eat out at and go there once a month.

So....what are you doing to make sure there is time set aside each day for yourself?  Let's hear it!
« Last Edit: July 07, 2018, 06:50:34 AM by Thunder »
10.29.17 BD-Moved out to OW/A began in  6.17
3.5.18 OW moved away/H moved in with F
3.19.18  H moved home into spare room 
7.14.18  Moved to be with OW (another state)
9.4.18  Moved back-Living with Parents 
11.1.18  OW moved back.  H living w/her in D's basement room. 
11.18 - H started visiting on holidays
11.26.19 Call from H.  BIL died suddenly.
1.19 - H announced to my inner circle that he moved to sisters  inc all belongings
2.19  H volunteers to house and dog sit whenever.
Spring 19  H visiting house and doing chores on a regular basis

4.83 Started Dating
8.10.85  Married

D -29 Married with 2 children  Lives Local
S - 27 Engaged in Prof School across country
3 Dogs (he left them all behind - taking care of them but not really visiting or interacting with them yet)

Offline FamilyIsMyGoal

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #1 on: July 05, 2018, 11:24:35 AM »
I love it!  In the beginning I was very good about doing this and I found it to be transformative!   But I've become a bit complacent about it now because I'm doing so much better.  Thanks for the reminder!  One thing I like to do in addition, is get my hair blown out.  Makes me look so much better and I feel confident.  Not sure what I will do today, but maybe I'll go get a pedicure.
Divorce Bomb August 6, 2017
Married 19 years
Together 22 years
Divorced as of January 2019
I don't think I'm standing, but who knows what the future brings.
Two Teenage boys
Me: 55
H 59
OW? I don't know - probably plural

Offline Acorn

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #2 on: July 05, 2018, 11:40:11 AM »
I do some positive things for my physical and emotional health, and for personal development.

I try to power-walk 5miles every day to maintain health.   If I have time, I walk another 5 miles on a nature trail for therapeutic purposes.

I challenge myself everyday to babble less and listen more.  I continually remind myself to respond, not react, to everyone and every situation.  A lot of work to do in both departments.  ;D

I’m work in progress, not a finished product, till my last day on earth.  That’s a pep talk I give myself everyday FWIW. 

I’m still to learn to hate potato crisps...  I don’t have a lot of hope there will be much progress on this ‘issue’.
Live-in MLCer
Feb 2015: BD.  H has a Nuclear meltdown. 
Oct 2015: ILYBIANILWY.
Apr 2016: Affair discovered
Dec 2017: Seriously reconnecting

Offline RedStar

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #3 on: July 05, 2018, 01:41:14 PM »
Good thread!

I've also been getting into books before bed. Sometimes I listen to podcasts. And I'm going to exercise classes. I cook tasty meals when I feel like it. Today's self-care breakfast was a fried egg, hash browns, and a bratwurst. :D And, of course, fresh morning coffee. That is a must have!

I’m still to learn to hate potato crisps...  I don’t have a lot of hope there will be much progress on this ‘issue’.

Arg! You just reminded me that I happen to have some in the cupboard...
« Last Edit: July 05, 2018, 01:42:30 PM by RedStar »

Offline exhausted

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #4 on: July 05, 2018, 01:58:39 PM »
I get my nails done twice a month also!! I've been enjoying a bubble bath in the evening for some time to myself. I meet up with friends occasionally for drinks and dinner (without my H). I am working to get an exercise routine going.
Met 4/1986
Married 6/1990
BD 6/2017
D22 S19
No affair
Still at home in IC

Online The Moon’s a balloon

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #5 on: July 05, 2018, 02:37:55 PM »
Not as bad as my MLC W then, who now manages to get her nails done almost every week 🙂.   

The football season starts again here in the UK next month, and my plan is to go and see my team at least once a month, at weekends.  Always been a fan, but have never gone to the matches regularly.  Always wanted to, but then got married, had kids, put them first, etc, etc.  When it’s not my weekend to have the kids, that’s my plan.  I’m also determined to take up something new as well, just not found something that really appeals to me yet. 
“It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul”.

Offline FamilyIsMyGoal

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #6 on: July 05, 2018, 02:39:22 PM »
That's a great idea Moon! 
Divorce Bomb August 6, 2017
Married 19 years
Together 22 years
Divorced as of January 2019
I don't think I'm standing, but who knows what the future brings.
Two Teenage boys
Me: 55
H 59
OW? I don't know - probably plural

Online The Moon’s a balloon

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #7 on: July 05, 2018, 02:45:49 PM »
Thanks Family.  Long before I met W I always wanted to do it, but never had the nerve to just go on my own.  I want to now.  And when they’re both a bit older, I want to occasionally take both my girls as well.  A bit of of a daddy / daughter thing - just the three of us.  What about you?  Do you have anything special lined up, just for you?
“It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul”.

Online Treasur

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #8 on: July 06, 2018, 01:06:26 AM »
The allotment is a lifesaver for me. My day is always better if I spend an hour there.
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Offline Kitty

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #9 on: July 06, 2018, 06:44:42 AM »
I try to exercise 30 every day. Sometimes it doesn’t always happen, but I try.

Every month I get a pedicure. And when there is a movie in the theaters I want to see, I go see it.

Usually I take Sundays to read if I have a book.
Me 39; H 43
Together 22 years; married 13
No kids, no pets

Grumpy is in an MLC, it doesn't matter what he has said or done. The important thing is, this is all about him and has nothing to do with me.

Offline Reallytrying

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #10 on: July 06, 2018, 06:47:36 AM »
I take regular walks both by myself and with friends. Get my nails done every 2-3 weeks. Go out to eat with the kids regularly. Go to bookclub every month and having been going to happy hour and other events regularly.
Right now I’m redecorating my bedroom and that’s been great.

Offline exhausted

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #11 on: July 06, 2018, 07:00:24 AM »
I also have been doing a little purging around the house.

After talking with the PA at my chiropractor's office yesterday, I think I ma going to try the headspace app to help with destressing...I'm carrying a lot of this stress in my shoulders.
Met 4/1986
Married 6/1990
BD 6/2017
D22 S19
No affair
Still at home in IC

Offline Sam I AmTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #12 on: July 06, 2018, 07:21:05 AM »
Love reading all the different things everyone is doing!

Red -  Really love the idea of bratwurst for breakfast....gonna try that this weekend.  Eggs toast and brats are on the menu for Sat or Sun....maybe both.  Ha ha

Acorn - Jealous that you can get in 5 to 10 miles.   Most I can do is about 4 with running for almost an hour.  Much better than where I used to be so no complaints.

FIMG - So what are you doing for yourself today....let's get a new habit started for you again.

Ex - Bubble baths sound so relaxing.  No tubs in our house....but I have a pool...not the same.  Would love more info on the headspace app!

Moon - Love the futbol idea....but what do you do for yourself daily.....there has to be something that is all about you for 30 mins....so...what is it?

Treas - What is an allotment?  Please share.  I don't understand this but I am glad it helps you!

Kitty - Very nice Kitty

RT - I like the way you think...exercise...reading...happy hour.  Delightful

Today was raining here in PA so instead of walking.....I did an exercise program call 7 minute workout.  It is a series of exercises for 30 seconds and a short break between each.  When I first started this program it took me 20 minutes to do 7 minutes because I had to take extra breaks in between.  Today....3 sets in 25 minutes.   

I also down loaded a meditation app call Breethe.  It has a some great drifting off to sleep options with ocean waves and nature noises.  Added that to my bed time regime to me.

Keep the ideas and updates flowing.

Remember to give yourself 30 minutes a day of something you want/need.  Do it for you because in the end it will make you better inside and out!

Have a great day and an even better weekend everyone!
10.29.17 BD-Moved out to OW/A began in  6.17
3.5.18 OW moved away/H moved in with F
3.19.18  H moved home into spare room 
7.14.18  Moved to be with OW (another state)
9.4.18  Moved back-Living with Parents 
11.1.18  OW moved back.  H living w/her in D's basement room. 
11.18 - H started visiting on holidays
11.26.19 Call from H.  BIL died suddenly.
1.19 - H announced to my inner circle that he moved to sisters  inc all belongings
2.19  H volunteers to house and dog sit whenever.
Spring 19  H visiting house and doing chores on a regular basis

4.83 Started Dating
8.10.85  Married

D -29 Married with 2 children  Lives Local
S - 27 Engaged in Prof School across country
3 Dogs (he left them all behind - taking care of them but not really visiting or interacting with them yet)

Offline Nerissa

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #13 on: July 06, 2018, 08:39:40 AM »
I lift weights with a trainer a few times a week. I  Try to walk or go to spin class, but am lazy.  I’m
Beginning a course which may lead to a degree.

I have my hair and nails done regularly and since I don’t have children at home full time any more, I don’t do much cooking or cleaning.  I visit friends.  I haven't really got into solo travel as it feels like a time filler at the moment, but I may do in future.

Offline exhausted

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #14 on: July 06, 2018, 08:47:22 AM »
Sam: just started the headspace app...stay tuned!!
Met 4/1986
Married 6/1990
BD 6/2017
D22 S19
No affair
Still at home in IC

Online Treasur

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #15 on: July 06, 2018, 08:49:43 AM »


Treas - What is an allotment?  Please share.  I don't understand this but I am glad it helps you!


An allotment is a piece of land you rent usually to grow vegetables on surrounded by other plots with people doing the same. In England, it's an old tradition probably the concept originates from feudal times where people worked on a landlord's estate f/t but were allowed to use common land for grazing animals or rent small pieces of land to grow produce for themselves.

Many houses in cities and small English towns sit on small plots of land with very small gardens or yards. Here, I live by the coast and the older houses were mostly small fisherman's cottages with little or no outside space. Apparently the allotment site I use goes back over 150 years and folks used to keep large animals like cows and pigs there too. (You can see what my allotment plot looks like here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com!)
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Offline heroIam

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #16 on: July 06, 2018, 09:07:35 AM »
Insight Timer is a great app.  Has everything from talks, meditation, music, etc...
One thing I am working on is getting myself 'out there' to be a bit more social and meet new people. 

Mirror Work
I try to hike often
Go to family events
Walk with a friend
Shopping with sister
Reading
Some crafting
Travel when I can
Working out - treadmill and weights
I love decorating and thinking of new ideas for my home.
Cozy up with my cats.
Watching good movies
“In the end, you’ve got to be your own hero because everyone’s busy trying to save themselves.”

Offline Sam I AmTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #17 on: July 06, 2018, 09:16:19 AM »
Treas - Thanks!  That makes a lot of sense to me now.  Enjoy your time there.  I know I would.

Ex - Looking forward to hearing from you.

Hero - U are a busy busy busy lady!
10.29.17 BD-Moved out to OW/A began in  6.17
3.5.18 OW moved away/H moved in with F
3.19.18  H moved home into spare room 
7.14.18  Moved to be with OW (another state)
9.4.18  Moved back-Living with Parents 
11.1.18  OW moved back.  H living w/her in D's basement room. 
11.18 - H started visiting on holidays
11.26.19 Call from H.  BIL died suddenly.
1.19 - H announced to my inner circle that he moved to sisters  inc all belongings
2.19  H volunteers to house and dog sit whenever.
Spring 19  H visiting house and doing chores on a regular basis

4.83 Started Dating
8.10.85  Married

D -29 Married with 2 children  Lives Local
S - 27 Engaged in Prof School across country
3 Dogs (he left them all behind - taking care of them but not really visiting or interacting with them yet)

Offline OffRoad

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #18 on: July 07, 2018, 01:14:07 AM »
I polish my own nails, but they are always polished. In bright colours (ex hated the smell).
Craft with D21
Eat Chicken and Stars soup.
Purge the house. One box at a time.
Work in the garden
Sit in my new massage chair.
Sleep in on Saturdays.
Build fake trees in the corners of my rooms.With hanging vines. And raindrop lights. And little birds in hoops.
Add dragon wall sconces in the bedroom. They go with the swords.
Find strange places to visit. https://meowwolf.com/santa-fe/ coming to Las Vegas next year. I can hardly wait as I loved Santa Fe.
Talk with my kids.
Swim.
And of course, drive off road!
When life gives you lemons, make SALSA!

Offline Seahorse

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #19 on: July 07, 2018, 06:26:22 AM »
Sam - Fun, healthy thread.  Thanks for starting it!

I was on here a few days ago and realized that I didn't know what to write.
I think I tend to plan out bigger things for myself, and otherwise just kind of live in the moment.

I do plenty, but am being fluid with my plans.
I may plan to go camping alone for the weekend, but change my mind and feel like staying home and purging boxes instead.
I may plan to take a bath, but later that night decide to watch a show I enjoy.

I also have the Breathe app, but didn't help me too much.
I will look into the two others mentioned on this thread.

Everyone - enjoy your peaceful time.
Seahorses have one mate for life...

Offline Sam I AmTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #20 on: July 07, 2018, 03:24:56 PM »
Today i went for a 2 mile walk
Washed the truck.
Swept the pool.
Talked with a friend for several hours.
Rode the scooter to the local restaurant.
Slept in and cuddled with the dogs.

I am spoiling myself and i no linget feel bad for doing it. I work hard. I deserve it. Most of it is just time and costs nothing.
10.29.17 BD-Moved out to OW/A began in  6.17
3.5.18 OW moved away/H moved in with F
3.19.18  H moved home into spare room 
7.14.18  Moved to be with OW (another state)
9.4.18  Moved back-Living with Parents 
11.1.18  OW moved back.  H living w/her in D's basement room. 
11.18 - H started visiting on holidays
11.26.19 Call from H.  BIL died suddenly.
1.19 - H announced to my inner circle that he moved to sisters  inc all belongings
2.19  H volunteers to house and dog sit whenever.
Spring 19  H visiting house and doing chores on a regular basis

4.83 Started Dating
8.10.85  Married

D -29 Married with 2 children  Lives Local
S - 27 Engaged in Prof School across country
3 Dogs (he left them all behind - taking care of them but not really visiting or interacting with them yet)

Offline Sam I AmTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #21 on: July 09, 2018, 10:35:57 AM »
So what is everyone doing for themselves today.

Yesterday I went for breakfast with D, SIL and GS.  Soaked up some sun and swam in the pool  Also did some cleaning of the house so it looked nice and helps me feel calm.

Today I went for an hour long walk.  Really needed it after last night.

Going somewhere special and new for supper tonight!
10.29.17 BD-Moved out to OW/A began in  6.17
3.5.18 OW moved away/H moved in with F
3.19.18  H moved home into spare room 
7.14.18  Moved to be with OW (another state)
9.4.18  Moved back-Living with Parents 
11.1.18  OW moved back.  H living w/her in D's basement room. 
11.18 - H started visiting on holidays
11.26.19 Call from H.  BIL died suddenly.
1.19 - H announced to my inner circle that he moved to sisters  inc all belongings
2.19  H volunteers to house and dog sit whenever.
Spring 19  H visiting house and doing chores on a regular basis

4.83 Started Dating
8.10.85  Married

D -29 Married with 2 children  Lives Local
S - 27 Engaged in Prof School across country
3 Dogs (he left them all behind - taking care of them but not really visiting or interacting with them yet)

Offline Stedroy

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #22 on: July 09, 2018, 10:53:10 AM »
Here is what I have added to my life

- Teaching at the YMCA two days a week
- Expanding the group friends that I go out with
- Never saying no to something that I would normally say no to.  Amazings things can happen!
- Got a new car
- Workout more
- Smile and say hello to people.
Married 19 / Together 24
Divorced 2018
ME51
eW47
D17, D16, S13

BD Feb 2017 - ILYBINILWY, Scam/Emotional affair

Offline 9393roo

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #23 on: July 09, 2018, 11:02:08 AM »
Today I will...

Walk my 10 month old puppy-( who has been a godsend through all this mess)

Cook my son’s favorite meal because he’s visiting.

Go to the gym with my daughter
 
Go to my beginner Spanish class (Started this 6 months ago because I signed up for a volunteer group to teach English for 2 weeks in Cuba in the fall)

Finish a project at work that I take great pride in.
 
Get ready for a week at the beach with my sisters and parents (Don’t know if H is coming or not and don’t really care)

I will laugh and I will be thankful for all the really great things I have. 

Husband 53
Me 53
Kids 3 sons 27,25.22 1 daughter 18
BD #1 Spring 2016
BD #2 Winter 2017
married 30 years.  Together 32
H never moved out except 3 weeks after BD #1
OW 30 year single mom employee-He says EA only I don’t believe him.
He is working on things and far from being cooked.
Husband 54
Me 54
Kids 3 sons 28, 26, 23 1 daughter 19
BD #1 Spring 2016
BD #2 Winter 2017
married 32 years.  Together 34
H never moved out except 3 weeks after BD #1
OW 30 year single mom employee-He says EA only I don’t believe him.
He is working on things and far from being cooked.

Offline Sam I AmTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #24 on: July 10, 2018, 04:33:42 PM »
So what did you do for yoyrself today?

I cleaned out the old shed and took junk to landfill. I made h help. Haha

I walked 4.4 mile

I went for a swim

Right now i am relaxing on the patio watching a storm blow over.
10.29.17 BD-Moved out to OW/A began in  6.17
3.5.18 OW moved away/H moved in with F
3.19.18  H moved home into spare room 
7.14.18  Moved to be with OW (another state)
9.4.18  Moved back-Living with Parents 
11.1.18  OW moved back.  H living w/her in D's basement room. 
11.18 - H started visiting on holidays
11.26.19 Call from H.  BIL died suddenly.
1.19 - H announced to my inner circle that he moved to sisters  inc all belongings
2.19  H volunteers to house and dog sit whenever.
Spring 19  H visiting house and doing chores on a regular basis

4.83 Started Dating
8.10.85  Married

D -29 Married with 2 children  Lives Local
S - 27 Engaged in Prof School across country
3 Dogs (he left them all behind - taking care of them but not really visiting or interacting with them yet)

Offline OffRoad

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #25 on: July 10, 2018, 10:16:53 PM »
Yesterday went swimming with the kids. I'm liking that a lot!
Let D do the veggie shopping
Threw away more quality belongings.
Ate Round Table puzza. I haven't had that in six months
When life gives you lemons, make SALSA!

Offline Sam I AmTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #26 on: July 11, 2018, 01:52:48 AM »
Off.  Very nice
10.29.17 BD-Moved out to OW/A began in  6.17
3.5.18 OW moved away/H moved in with F
3.19.18  H moved home into spare room 
7.14.18  Moved to be with OW (another state)
9.4.18  Moved back-Living with Parents 
11.1.18  OW moved back.  H living w/her in D's basement room. 
11.18 - H started visiting on holidays
11.26.19 Call from H.  BIL died suddenly.
1.19 - H announced to my inner circle that he moved to sisters  inc all belongings
2.19  H volunteers to house and dog sit whenever.
Spring 19  H visiting house and doing chores on a regular basis

4.83 Started Dating
8.10.85  Married

D -29 Married with 2 children  Lives Local
S - 27 Engaged in Prof School across country
3 Dogs (he left them all behind - taking care of them but not really visiting or interacting with them yet)

Offline hopeandfaith

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #27 on: July 11, 2018, 03:43:06 AM »
For those of you who are interested, Deepak and Oprah are doing another free online 21 Day meditation challenge on 23 July.  The meditations can be sent to your phone and last around 20 mins.  I try and meditate daily but really suck at it actually so these challenges (which come along quite frequently) help set that habit for me.

Apart from that, I have also been seeing an energy healer every 6-8 weeks.  I think it helps but it even if it doesn't help energetically, it helps emotionally.
BD's in May 09, Sept 12 - suspected OW
Left home Jan 12 2013
OW confirmed Feb 2013
Moved home April 11 2014
BD again in April 2017 - clinging. 
Moved out July 2017
D19, D17 and S15

Offline stillbaffled

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #28 on: July 11, 2018, 07:30:11 AM »
I'm headed out for wind therapy today on my Harley.  Hoping to put a few hundred miles on.   :)
BD: 1/1/16
Together 15 years - married 7 years
His divorce final 7/26/16
Married the OW

After all, tomorrow is another day.

Online Treasur

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #29 on: July 11, 2018, 12:12:10 PM »
After a firm prod on self-care and being shown this, I'm going to start using it as my plan to make new habits to replace some old ones http://www.kellevision.com/kellevision/2009/11/satirs-mandala-of-the-self-and-good-self-care.html
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Offline OffRoad

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #30 on: July 11, 2018, 02:50:02 PM »
I'm headed out for wind therapy today on my Harley.  Hoping to put a few hundred miles on.   :)
I'm envious.  :)
When life gives you lemons, make SALSA!

Offline Shocked

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #31 on: July 11, 2018, 09:03:41 PM »
SB ride towards CO!!!
Sam this is a good discussion! I need to find new friends and this is a challenge to find some other things to do!!! I sat on my backyard swing for the first time since moving here in March. It was a lovely evening. Learning to appreciate even when I’m alone.
I care🤗
H 51
W 58
M 22 Years
2 AD both married from my first M
BD 12/15 moved out-in replay, vanisher, MOW in Atlanta
D 2/17

Offline Stand Tall

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #32 on: July 11, 2018, 10:02:13 PM »
One thing I do for myself everyday is get up in this forum and read everyone's stories. I do post every now and again, but I really feel like I'm amongst friends who actually understand. I'm learning a lot from everyone.

I take time to pray and talk to God. This is something that I didn't do when H lived with me. God has helped we thru this a lot.

I still cook my dinners just as if H lived here. I cook for a family then I put the leftovers in single serving containers and have a good meal every night. I think they call it food prepping.

I also keep my grandson everyday. He is 18 months old. What a gift. His mom and dad say I'm his best friend. When they ask him if he wants to go to Oma's house he jumps right up and heads to the door.

I think I'm going to get me some bubble bath. I have a great soaking tub, but have never soaked in it.

As soon as I get motivated I'm going to start going to the gym. I love working out I just hate driving to get there.
When the power of love overcomes the love of power there will be peace.

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass its about learning to dance in the Rain

Be a pineapple; Stand tall. Wear a crown. Be sweet on the Inside.

Offline FaithWalker

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #33 on: July 11, 2018, 11:38:58 PM »
Great idea!

Today I treated the kids to lunch out (it's xH's week but they texted wanting to do something while he's at work), and we used a gift card I got to have Cold Stone Ice Cream.  I ate almost all of mine.

After the kids went home, I ate leftovers from lunch for dinner and had a lazy do nothing evening.

Tomorrow I am going camping overnight with a friend.  We will paddle board, drive 4 wheelers, and drink Mike's Hard Lemonade after dinner while having some great adult no kids no dogs time.

M-41
H-43
S-19
D-17
S-14
Friends 7y before M
Married 14y
BD 12/14/15 - 2 weeks after 14th anniv.
Divorce final 4/13/16
EA - 9/15-4/16
New GF 12/16
Engaged 6/17 (I found out 8/10/17)
Moved to her State 4 States away - 7/13/17
Eng. off 8/20/17
Moved back to our State 8/24/17
Has several dating profiles on POF and another but no major signs of anything new.

Link to my journey: 
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10630.new#new

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

"Sometimes - some things have to break apart so better things can be built."

"If we don't take time to heal, we will bleed on people who didn't cut us."

Offline exhausted

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #34 on: July 12, 2018, 03:24:09 AM »
I've started into this exercise thing and building up to some running (I hate running but read a great article about starting after 50). I'm up to a short jog in the neighborhood.

I am using the headspace app at the end of my day and so far the lessons have been useful.

I joined a small group study at my church along with two very good friends.

Last night I just sat in a comfy reclining chair by the pool listening to some Pandora. It was a beautiful evening and so peaceful.
« Last Edit: July 12, 2018, 04:08:57 AM by exhausted »
Met 4/1986
Married 6/1990
BD 6/2017
D22 S19
No affair
Still at home in IC

Offline Sam I AmTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #35 on: July 13, 2018, 08:06:57 AM »
It is great to see so many people doing so many different things to invest in themselves.

Today is my lazy day!  After my run yesterday, today is my day to take a rest for my body.  Upon waking, I read and played video games while still in bed for about 40 mins.

Treated myself to breakfast.

Taking off early.

1.  Want to go home and watch H load the u haul.  I will watch and not help at all.

2.  It is so sunny so I can get in some pool time!  Sweet!

3.  Can spend some extra time with the dogs today too.

10.29.17 BD-Moved out to OW/A began in  6.17
3.5.18 OW moved away/H moved in with F
3.19.18  H moved home into spare room 
7.14.18  Moved to be with OW (another state)
9.4.18  Moved back-Living with Parents 
11.1.18  OW moved back.  H living w/her in D's basement room. 
11.18 - H started visiting on holidays
11.26.19 Call from H.  BIL died suddenly.
1.19 - H announced to my inner circle that he moved to sisters  inc all belongings
2.19  H volunteers to house and dog sit whenever.
Spring 19  H visiting house and doing chores on a regular basis

4.83 Started Dating
8.10.85  Married

D -29 Married with 2 children  Lives Local
S - 27 Engaged in Prof School across country
3 Dogs (he left them all behind - taking care of them but not really visiting or interacting with them yet)

Offline Acorn

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #36 on: July 13, 2018, 08:42:17 AM »
1.  Want to go home and watch H load the u haul.  I will watch and not help at all.

O, how I wish I could watch it all with you, Sam.  It rivals SB’s pole barn dismantling show.
We could have some wine and cheese, upbeat music, cool sunglasses, floppy hats and a bottle of something wicked, like Champagne.  You could video the whole process and post it on YouTube.  If someone can get over a million hits with a video of a lemon rolling down the hill, you can get a billion hits with ‘H’s moving day’.  You could use the fast forward feature...  I think you are the kind of gal who can see humour in every situation, and if you don’t see it, you manufacture one.  I stand with you, Sam!
« Last Edit: July 13, 2018, 09:20:59 AM by Acorn »
Live-in MLCer
Feb 2015: BD.  H has a Nuclear meltdown. 
Oct 2015: ILYBIANILWY.
Apr 2016: Affair discovered
Dec 2017: Seriously reconnecting

Offline FaithWalker

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #37 on: July 15, 2018, 04:41:43 PM »
1.  Want to go home and watch H load the u haul.  I will watch and not help at all.

O, how I wish I could watch it all with you, Sam.  It rivals SB’s pole barn dismantling show.
We could have some wine and cheese, upbeat music, cool sunglasses, floppy hats and a bottle of something wicked, like Champagne.  You could video the whole process and post it on YouTube.  If someone can get over a million hits with a video of a lemon rolling down the hill, you can get a billion hits with ‘H’s moving day’.  You could use the fast forward feature...  I think you are the kind of gal who can see humour in every situation, and if you don’t see it, you manufacture one.  I stand with you, Sam!

This made me smile.

Sending you some positive thoughts Sam!

I have injured right calf.  Not sure yet what the diagnosis is, so everything is a challenge right now other than icing and elevating the leg in front of the tv or computer.  Oh dear!
M-41
H-43
S-19
D-17
S-14
Friends 7y before M
Married 14y
BD 12/14/15 - 2 weeks after 14th anniv.
Divorce final 4/13/16
EA - 9/15-4/16
New GF 12/16
Engaged 6/17 (I found out 8/10/17)
Moved to her State 4 States away - 7/13/17
Eng. off 8/20/17
Moved back to our State 8/24/17
Has several dating profiles on POF and another but no major signs of anything new.

Link to my journey: 
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10630.new#new

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

"Sometimes - some things have to break apart so better things can be built."

"If we don't take time to heal, we will bleed on people who didn't cut us."

Offline Sam I AmTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #38 on: July 16, 2018, 07:27:37 AM »
Been away from this for a few days but I am back.

So what are you doing for you today?


1.  Exercised in the AM
2.  Invited D and GS for a swim after work.  I will have some pool therapy today!
3.  Bought breakfast at BK.   Don't usually do fast food so this was a treat.  Plus I was running late so it was an excuse too.
4.  Dressed up...actually wore a dress and heals.  I am more jeans and sneakers type of person.
5.  Talked with some great friends and family while driving to work.


Make sure you do something everyday for yourself, no matter how small or simple.  Give yourself 30 mins or more!  You an fit that into your schedule.
10.29.17 BD-Moved out to OW/A began in  6.17
3.5.18 OW moved away/H moved in with F
3.19.18  H moved home into spare room 
7.14.18  Moved to be with OW (another state)
9.4.18  Moved back-Living with Parents 
11.1.18  OW moved back.  H living w/her in D's basement room. 
11.18 - H started visiting on holidays
11.26.19 Call from H.  BIL died suddenly.
1.19 - H announced to my inner circle that he moved to sisters  inc all belongings
2.19  H volunteers to house and dog sit whenever.
Spring 19  H visiting house and doing chores on a regular basis

4.83 Started Dating
8.10.85  Married

D -29 Married with 2 children  Lives Local
S - 27 Engaged in Prof School across country
3 Dogs (he left them all behind - taking care of them but not really visiting or interacting with them yet)

Offline OffRoad

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #39 on: July 16, 2018, 09:02:27 PM »
Pool therapy! Every 2-3 days.
Cheesy bread from Domino's.  I have no idea why I like it, but I haven't had it since May. Must have been the Round Table pizza that brought the craving in.
Cruising the beach with the sun roof open.
Massage chair Worth every cent STILL.
Got rid of the ants.  Yay!
When life gives you lemons, make SALSA!

Offline exhausted

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #40 on: July 18, 2018, 03:36:05 AM »
Sam: completed the 10 basics of Headspace...I signed on for more. It has provided a good structure for taking some time to work on mindfulness.
Met 4/1986
Married 6/1990
BD 6/2017
D22 S19
No affair
Still at home in IC

Offline Sam I AmTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #41 on: July 18, 2018, 06:06:39 AM »
Morning everyone...

I am still exercising everyday for me.
Preparing meals that I enjoy and are good for me
Pool therapy when the weather allows
Internal/Mirror work for my sanity
Reading, reading, reading cuz I love it.
Spending time with the dogs
Spending time with the GS
10.29.17 BD-Moved out to OW/A began in  6.17
3.5.18 OW moved away/H moved in with F
3.19.18  H moved home into spare room 
7.14.18  Moved to be with OW (another state)
9.4.18  Moved back-Living with Parents 
11.1.18  OW moved back.  H living w/her in D's basement room. 
11.18 - H started visiting on holidays
11.26.19 Call from H.  BIL died suddenly.
1.19 - H announced to my inner circle that he moved to sisters  inc all belongings
2.19  H volunteers to house and dog sit whenever.
Spring 19  H visiting house and doing chores on a regular basis

4.83 Started Dating
8.10.85  Married

D -29 Married with 2 children  Lives Local
S - 27 Engaged in Prof School across country
3 Dogs (he left them all behind - taking care of them but not really visiting or interacting with them yet)

Offline Seahorse

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #42 on: July 18, 2018, 05:51:09 PM »
Pedicure on the way home from work!

Seahorses have one mate for life...

Offline OffRoad

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #43 on: July 18, 2018, 05:56:33 PM »
Encorage pictures from D21, like todays showing a stuffed animal trying to eat the watermelon with the caption "I think we should cut up the watermelon before Roscoe eats it."
When life gives you lemons, make SALSA!

Offline Seahorse

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #44 on: July 18, 2018, 06:13:16 PM »
Off Road:  Haha!  Post it?
Seahorses have one mate for life...

Offline Sam I AmTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #45 on: July 23, 2018, 08:01:07 AM »
Hope you are all still trying to find something each day to do something for yourself.

I am still exercising and reading.  Switching to more self help books and away from Mirror Work books.  Trying to target in on areas where I feel I need growth.   Small baby steps.

Spent time with weekend with family and getting a manicure and just chilling on the pool deck just because I can!
10.29.17 BD-Moved out to OW/A began in  6.17
3.5.18 OW moved away/H moved in with F
3.19.18  H moved home into spare room 
7.14.18  Moved to be with OW (another state)
9.4.18  Moved back-Living with Parents 
11.1.18  OW moved back.  H living w/her in D's basement room. 
11.18 - H started visiting on holidays
11.26.19 Call from H.  BIL died suddenly.
1.19 - H announced to my inner circle that he moved to sisters  inc all belongings
2.19  H volunteers to house and dog sit whenever.
Spring 19  H visiting house and doing chores on a regular basis

4.83 Started Dating
8.10.85  Married

D -29 Married with 2 children  Lives Local
S - 27 Engaged in Prof School across country
3 Dogs (he left them all behind - taking care of them but not really visiting or interacting with them yet)

Offline Seahorse

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #46 on: July 23, 2018, 08:13:27 AM »
Sounds great Sam.  I hope I can swim with you one day! :)

I am at the hair salon today.
Decided to go gray (natural) and get my hair cut/restyled dramatically.

I have colored my hair for 20 years, and decided to try natural.  If it makes me feel too old, I’ll recolor next time.  Doing it gradually though so each month will be more and more noticeable.

Had beeen workin to get hair one length close to shoulders.  Liked it because finally got there, but was unhappy because doesn’t look healthy and is thinning significantly.  SO, a new layered cut it will be, bangs and all. 

Happy that I’m doing this for me.  Considered going gray once before but H asked that I keep it blonde (true color when younger), so I did as I was going to do it to save money versus being what I wanted to do.
Seahorses have one mate for life...

Offline semperfidelis

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #47 on: July 23, 2018, 08:17:11 AM »
Challenge accepted....without the nails part...i dont think i have any left....at least i dont need calcium

Offline exhausted

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #48 on: July 23, 2018, 02:20:21 PM »
Today was IC, mani/pedi and started a new work out routine involving dance steps...H is traveling for work so it gives me some space.
Met 4/1986
Married 6/1990
BD 6/2017
D22 S19
No affair
Still at home in IC

Offline OffRoad

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #49 on: July 23, 2018, 10:38:52 PM »
Purple nail polish with green sparkles.
Vent session with Mr Flirty after work.
Chips with Pico de Gallo salsa for dinner
Delivered dinner to a friend who was in a car accident.
Replaced the blinker bulb in my car. All by myself.😄 it's the little things that make me happy.
When life gives you lemons, make SALSA!

Offline OffRoad

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #50 on: July 23, 2018, 10:40:46 PM »
Oh, and cut up the watermelon before Roscoe ate it. I arrived home to have Roscoe and the watermelon greet me four feet inside the door. I can take a hint.....
When life gives you lemons, make SALSA!

Offline Sam I AmTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #51 on: July 24, 2018, 07:30:25 AM »
Awesome everyone keep it up!

Over the last few days....I continue to exercise.  Cleaned my kitchen and bedroom.  (not really fun but I feel better when it is done)  Read a book...327 pages in 2 days.  Chatted and talked with friends.  Tonight I am going out for taco Tuesday with a friend at a local pub.  Little things for yourself do make a difference.  Keep it up!
10.29.17 BD-Moved out to OW/A began in  6.17
3.5.18 OW moved away/H moved in with F
3.19.18  H moved home into spare room 
7.14.18  Moved to be with OW (another state)
9.4.18  Moved back-Living with Parents 
11.1.18  OW moved back.  H living w/her in D's basement room. 
11.18 - H started visiting on holidays
11.26.19 Call from H.  BIL died suddenly.
1.19 - H announced to my inner circle that he moved to sisters  inc all belongings
2.19  H volunteers to house and dog sit whenever.
Spring 19  H visiting house and doing chores on a regular basis

4.83 Started Dating
8.10.85  Married

D -29 Married with 2 children  Lives Local
S - 27 Engaged in Prof School across country
3 Dogs (he left them all behind - taking care of them but not really visiting or interacting with them yet)

Offline RedStar

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #52 on: July 25, 2018, 05:33:43 PM »
Today's treat: new shoes.  ;D

Oh, and a tasty piece of salmon for dinner, plus a glass of wine.

Offline exhausted

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #53 on: July 25, 2018, 05:54:55 PM »
I put in time at school today working with people who value and affirm me as we worked on some prep for the upcoming school year...kept very busy all day long!
« Last Edit: July 25, 2018, 05:56:23 PM by exhausted »
Met 4/1986
Married 6/1990
BD 6/2017
D22 S19
No affair
Still at home in IC

Offline Seahorse

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #54 on: July 25, 2018, 06:40:52 PM »
Dinner with S20 and GF visiting.
Finalizing plans for trip out of country for weekend in Fall.
Worked at my favorite place.

Good Day!
Seahorses have one mate for life...

Offline Reallytrying

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #55 on: July 25, 2018, 07:37:15 PM »
Today I napped during a rainy afternoon.

Offline Seahorse

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #56 on: July 26, 2018, 07:20:35 PM »
I went through boxes, organized, reorganized, threw out and donated.  It was a productive day since I love getting rid of unneeded things!
Feels good.
Seahorses have one mate for life...

Offline Sam I AmTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #57 on: July 30, 2018, 07:58:40 AM »
Still love to see what everyone is doing for themselves.  Remember...it doesn't have to big or expensive....just what do you do for you to make each day a little better.

I am still exercising....considering adding meditation to my day.  Thus far I added it for falling asleep at night.

Took up some TV watching again...binge watched Big Brother so now I am hooked again.

Relaxing on the deck or in the pool....as often as the weather will allow.

Shopping!

Spending time with GS and soon will have GD to help take up time too!

Helping D out whenever possible. 

Talking/texting friends

I have a hawk family in the back yard so I have taken up watching them and discovered we also have tanagers hanging around.  I thought they were cardinals...once I got the spotting scope on them...they are not....they are cool to watch too.  I can do this from the deck.

Reading...expanding my reading to different things...mostly still self improvement books based on my needs and desires to be a better person overall.


10.29.17 BD-Moved out to OW/A began in  6.17
3.5.18 OW moved away/H moved in with F
3.19.18  H moved home into spare room 
7.14.18  Moved to be with OW (another state)
9.4.18  Moved back-Living with Parents 
11.1.18  OW moved back.  H living w/her in D's basement room. 
11.18 - H started visiting on holidays
11.26.19 Call from H.  BIL died suddenly.
1.19 - H announced to my inner circle that he moved to sisters  inc all belongings
2.19  H volunteers to house and dog sit whenever.
Spring 19  H visiting house and doing chores on a regular basis

4.83 Started Dating
8.10.85  Married

D -29 Married with 2 children  Lives Local
S - 27 Engaged in Prof School across country
3 Dogs (he left them all behind - taking care of them but not really visiting or interacting with them yet)

Offline exhausted

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #58 on: July 30, 2018, 08:17:14 AM »
I went to church yesterday.

Finished planning our family vacation and making reservations.

Have been enjoying the Hallmark Christmas in July movies...
Met 4/1986
Married 6/1990
BD 6/2017
D22 S19
No affair
Still at home in IC

Offline Seahorse

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #59 on: July 30, 2018, 12:27:35 PM »
Today, went to doctor. For me
Seahorses have one mate for life...

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #60 on: July 31, 2018, 02:02:27 AM »
Today our regular fitness classes start up again! YIPPEE!  Trampoline Aerobics at 12:00
Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline Sam I AmTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #61 on: July 31, 2018, 05:29:23 AM »
trampoline aerobics sounds like both a blast and a potential injury!  Enjoy UM
10.29.17 BD-Moved out to OW/A began in  6.17
3.5.18 OW moved away/H moved in with F
3.19.18  H moved home into spare room 
7.14.18  Moved to be with OW (another state)
9.4.18  Moved back-Living with Parents 
11.1.18  OW moved back.  H living w/her in D's basement room. 
11.18 - H started visiting on holidays
11.26.19 Call from H.  BIL died suddenly.
1.19 - H announced to my inner circle that he moved to sisters  inc all belongings
2.19  H volunteers to house and dog sit whenever.
Spring 19  H visiting house and doing chores on a regular basis

4.83 Started Dating
8.10.85  Married

D -29 Married with 2 children  Lives Local
S - 27 Engaged in Prof School across country
3 Dogs (he left them all behind - taking care of them but not really visiting or interacting with them yet)

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #62 on: July 31, 2018, 05:57:26 AM »
trampoline aerobics sounds like both a blast and a potential injury!  Enjoy UM

55 minutes, 900 calories burned.... And it is easier on the joints since it is low/no impact... there were 6 of us plus the instructor and, as usual, I was the only guy in the class...
Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline Sam I AmTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #63 on: August 01, 2018, 08:50:07 AM »
Did you enjoy all the bouncing UM?????


So...things I continue to do....

Exercise.  So important to me.  Always feel so much better after doing it even though I have to get out of bed an hour earlier than normal.

Took GS out for wings last night.  He was such a good boy.

Tonight I have junk guy coming to pick up stuff I want to get rid of....love to de clutter!  Also one of those things that requires some work but makes me happier after it is done.

Supper tonight....steaks and fresh veggies.  I love steak but my waistline does not so it is a special treat every now and then.   :-*
10.29.17 BD-Moved out to OW/A began in  6.17
3.5.18 OW moved away/H moved in with F
3.19.18  H moved home into spare room 
7.14.18  Moved to be with OW (another state)
9.4.18  Moved back-Living with Parents 
11.1.18  OW moved back.  H living w/her in D's basement room. 
11.18 - H started visiting on holidays
11.26.19 Call from H.  BIL died suddenly.
1.19 - H announced to my inner circle that he moved to sisters  inc all belongings
2.19  H volunteers to house and dog sit whenever.
Spring 19  H visiting house and doing chores on a regular basis

4.83 Started Dating
8.10.85  Married

D -29 Married with 2 children  Lives Local
S - 27 Engaged in Prof School across country
3 Dogs (he left them all behind - taking care of them but not really visiting or interacting with them yet)

Offline exhausted

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #64 on: August 01, 2018, 10:03:10 AM »
Sam, I am still working on finding a consistent routine to work out!!

Last week was a rough week with ER visits with FIL, but I have gotten back to my Headspace routine these past few days.

Had dinner with a great friend before going to our last small group meeting for a study we have been doing at church.

Have been enjoying S19...he just "dropped and EP" of music he has been working on for himself this summer...his own therapy...proud momma!
Met 4/1986
Married 6/1990
BD 6/2017
D22 S19
No affair
Still at home in IC

Offline FaithWalker

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #65 on: September 08, 2018, 05:43:11 PM »
Got to catch up on some HS threads today.  It's been a while.

Tomorrow afternoon I'm going to the movies with my SIL.
M-41
H-43
S-19
D-17
S-14
Friends 7y before M
Married 14y
BD 12/14/15 - 2 weeks after 14th anniv.
Divorce final 4/13/16
EA - 9/15-4/16
New GF 12/16
Engaged 6/17 (I found out 8/10/17)
Moved to her State 4 States away - 7/13/17
Eng. off 8/20/17
Moved back to our State 8/24/17
Has several dating profiles on POF and another but no major signs of anything new.

Link to my journey: 
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10630.new#new

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

"Sometimes - some things have to break apart so better things can be built."

"If we don't take time to heal, we will bleed on people who didn't cut us."

Offline Seahorse

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #66 on: October 06, 2018, 09:25:12 AM »
Finish cleaning basement and garage.
This has been a long-term goal and I’m so close.
I will feell awesome when it’s done!!!
Seahorses have one mate for life...

Offline exhausted

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #67 on: October 06, 2018, 12:32:02 PM »
I've been cooking for others. I've always enjoyed planning and cooking for groups of people. Now, with my children gone, there are no soccer pasta parties, graduation parties and marching bands to feed. I also used to work at a school where I often brought lunch for my tram - especially after having tried a new recipe.

These past two weeks I have gotten back to that activity. I have been feeding my team since our game times have been pushed back and I did a lunch for my department.
Met 4/1986
Married 6/1990
BD 6/2017
D22 S19
No affair
Still at home in IC

Offline OffRoad

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #68 on: October 07, 2018, 10:56:00 AM »
Kudos to everyone. It's nice to see what others choose to do for themselves.

I'm getting a new roof, new paint, fixing the fence, and eventually the yard.
I cleaned out all the old school supplies since the kids no longer need them.
Finally working on recovering the loveseat like I did the couch.
Went for Mexican food and had a lovely conversation about movies, music and relative merits of actors with my waiter.
Getting rid of the clothes I've "made do" with and assembling my style clothes.
Listening to music. I keep forgetting how much I enjoy it.
When life gives you lemons, make SALSA!

Offline Sam I AmTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #69 on: October 08, 2018, 08:42:13 AM »
I agree...awesome seeing what others do and how some of us newbies are growing into  doing things we would not have done before.

I am planning a visit to see another LBS soon.
Learning to winterize summer equipment for the winter.
Purchased a new weed whacker...all my myself.  Didn't rely on anyone else.
Doing some organizing.
Actually fall decorated the house....I am not big on decorating...always figured why do it....put it up and take it down.  Now I am taking the time to do it.  Fall especially because I can keep it up for months...not just weeks.
Just a few weeks ago I designed and built my own deck railing for the pool.  Now I have to figure out the gate.  More of a challenge since it needs to move.  hmmmmmm
10.29.17 BD-Moved out to OW/A began in  6.17
3.5.18 OW moved away/H moved in with F
3.19.18  H moved home into spare room 
7.14.18  Moved to be with OW (another state)
9.4.18  Moved back-Living with Parents 
11.1.18  OW moved back.  H living w/her in D's basement room. 
11.18 - H started visiting on holidays
11.26.19 Call from H.  BIL died suddenly.
1.19 - H announced to my inner circle that he moved to sisters  inc all belongings
2.19  H volunteers to house and dog sit whenever.
Spring 19  H visiting house and doing chores on a regular basis

4.83 Started Dating
8.10.85  Married

D -29 Married with 2 children  Lives Local
S - 27 Engaged in Prof School across country
3 Dogs (he left them all behind - taking care of them but not really visiting or interacting with them yet)

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #70 on: October 09, 2018, 08:20:14 AM »
My update:

Trampoline Aerobics again today
Getting closer to getting my motorcycle license - the Approval to take the written test has been delivered to the Driving School...
Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline Sam I AmTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #71 on: October 09, 2018, 08:23:34 AM »
UM - Congrats...I love riding my scooter.  Not brave enough yet to take on the heavy mc...but the scooter is great!  I drove it to work today because I could.
10.29.17 BD-Moved out to OW/A began in  6.17
3.5.18 OW moved away/H moved in with F
3.19.18  H moved home into spare room 
7.14.18  Moved to be with OW (another state)
9.4.18  Moved back-Living with Parents 
11.1.18  OW moved back.  H living w/her in D's basement room. 
11.18 - H started visiting on holidays
11.26.19 Call from H.  BIL died suddenly.
1.19 - H announced to my inner circle that he moved to sisters  inc all belongings
2.19  H volunteers to house and dog sit whenever.
Spring 19  H visiting house and doing chores on a regular basis

4.83 Started Dating
8.10.85  Married

D -29 Married with 2 children  Lives Local
S - 27 Engaged in Prof School across country
3 Dogs (he left them all behind - taking care of them but not really visiting or interacting with them yet)

Offline Jackolar12

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #72 on: January 21, 2019, 02:04:25 PM »
I’m taking up blacksmithing, casting metals in sand mounds,learning to play the Saxaphone and studying the personality disorders.im also buying and selling interesting stuff on eBay.  Teal art is another hobby I am trying.

Offline Jackolar12

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #73 on: January 21, 2019, 02:06:21 PM »
Correction it should have read as metal art and not teal art.

Offline exhausted

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #74 on: January 22, 2019, 04:20:45 AM »
Joined the Y and bought my swim cap and goggles so I can starting swimming for exercise.

I also started an online doctoral program.
Met 4/1986
Married 6/1990
BD 6/2017
D22 S19
No affair
Still at home in IC

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #75 on: January 22, 2019, 05:32:08 AM »
My update:

Trampoline Aerobics again today
Getting closer to getting my motorcycle license - the Approval to take the written test has been delivered to the Driving School...

Challenge 2 completed - I got my Motorcycle license in Nov 2018.....

Other firsts : Took myself and my kids skiing for the first time (first time ever for them and first time in Europe for me) in January
Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline Sam I AmTopic starterTopic starter

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  • https://affaircare.com/the-180
Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #76 on: January 22, 2019, 06:58:27 AM »
It is too cold to walk so I am working with D to get some online exercise programs for her so I can keep me healthy.

Taco Tuesday for me died...the place I was going was getting too bad with smokers so I am not choosing to avoid it and going for Wings on Thursdays.  Usually meet up with a friend...occasionally I go alone.  I don't mind.  I am getting to know new people at the bar so I always have someone to converse with.

Spending time with family!  Hosting a family dinner every other month so my parents have time with the kids and grandkids and great grandkids.  It is the best present my sister and I ever did for them.

Spend at least 30 mins a day reading something to help me in some way.  Sometimes it is just a fiction novel just because I need that escape from reality.

Re-decorating my home.  Started with my bedroom.  Repainted.  New dressers/bureaus, closet organizers, bedding....making it my "spa" bedroom in my own home.  Loving it.  Except for the light covered comforter....My dogs footprints keep showing up on the cream background.  Just means washing it more often.  Ha Ha.

Other than that....keeping busy at work. We have a lot of changes on the horizon that should lead to more growth.  Growth is good!

I try to get to the movies once a month.  Sometimes it happens...sometimes it doesn't.  This is a low priority for me.

Planning a trip to see son in the Spring!

Basically, I am living my life the way I choose.  Sometimes I feel like hanging at home and doing nothing...other times I have a gas ass and I just go and do what I want to do!  Freedom of choice is what I have! 
10.29.17 BD-Moved out to OW/A began in  6.17
3.5.18 OW moved away/H moved in with F
3.19.18  H moved home into spare room 
7.14.18  Moved to be with OW (another state)
9.4.18  Moved back-Living with Parents 
11.1.18  OW moved back.  H living w/her in D's basement room. 
11.18 - H started visiting on holidays
11.26.19 Call from H.  BIL died suddenly.
1.19 - H announced to my inner circle that he moved to sisters  inc all belongings
2.19  H volunteers to house and dog sit whenever.
Spring 19  H visiting house and doing chores on a regular basis

4.83 Started Dating
8.10.85  Married

D -29 Married with 2 children  Lives Local
S - 27 Engaged in Prof School across country
3 Dogs (he left them all behind - taking care of them but not really visiting or interacting with them yet)

Offline Milly

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #77 on: January 22, 2019, 02:19:37 PM »
Sam, I'm just catching up with your thread and loving your attitude! It's been so enlightening and refreshing to read your thread with yours and everyone's suggestions for things to do for yourselves every day.  I'm way behind but you make it sound easy. I will need to start tomorrow!
Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D25, D22, S15
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

Offline FaithWalker

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Re: Putting a Challenge Out there for All
« Reply #78 on: January 22, 2019, 05:31:02 PM »
I haven't had much time for me lately with working two jobs, but I do try to pamper myself with a long bath a couple times a week.  This week I'm not working the second job and only working for 3 hours at the first job on Friday, then headed out of town for a girls weekend with my SIL, her sister, and possibly another gal.
M-41
H-43
S-19
D-17
S-14
Friends 7y before M
Married 14y
BD 12/14/15 - 2 weeks after 14th anniv.
Divorce final 4/13/16
EA - 9/15-4/16
New GF 12/16
Engaged 6/17 (I found out 8/10/17)
Moved to her State 4 States away - 7/13/17
Eng. off 8/20/17
Moved back to our State 8/24/17
Has several dating profiles on POF and another but no major signs of anything new.

Link to my journey: 
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10630.new#new

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

"Sometimes - some things have to break apart so better things can be built."

"If we don't take time to heal, we will bleed on people who didn't cut us."

 

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