Author Topic: My Story My second thread: A new home  (Read 5925 times)

Offline The Moon’s a balloonTopic starterTopic starter

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My Story My second thread: A new home
« on: July 26, 2018, 11:24:41 PM »
I believe I need to start a new thread.  Heres the link to the old one (if this is how it works). 

https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10249.0
“It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul”.

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: My second thread: A new home
« Reply #1 on: July 27, 2018, 01:32:15 AM »
Yep, that is how it works.... I have also linked your old thread to this one (VERY important or people will loose your thread)

UM
Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline Blueblood

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Re: My second thread: A new home
« Reply #2 on: July 27, 2018, 02:46:30 AM »
Still with you Moon.

blue
M 15 @ BD
Me 50 W 45
D15 D13 D9 S9
BD1 Nov16 (not happy), BD2 May17 ILYBNILWY
PA yes

Offline Thunder

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Re: My second thread: A new home
« Reply #3 on: July 27, 2018, 02:55:14 AM »
Hi Moon, welcome to your new thread.

I'm confused again.   ::)

Why would you turn down your MIL's offer to pay you the money?  At least you know you would get it.  Trusting a MLCer is never a good idea.

Sorry you're going through so much stress right now.  Sounds like you have a lot of iron's in the fire.
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline Blueblood

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Re: My second thread: A new home
« Reply #4 on: July 27, 2018, 03:18:28 AM »
Moon,

From my experience, so I'm not saying it's a fit all concept, but you think your W has taken OM on holiday with the kids? But you'd trust her about money? Not me, trust has gone the moment she started an affair. Money is way down on her list of things so IMHO she'd take that away from you because it's hers anyway. Have you discussed all your options with solicitor? Follow their advice so you don't get financially burnt. You don't want to owe MIL and get nothing from W.

Blue
M 15 @ BD
Me 50 W 45
D15 D13 D9 S9
BD1 Nov16 (not happy), BD2 May17 ILYBNILWY
PA yes

Offline The Moon’s a balloonTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: My second thread: A new home
« Reply #5 on: July 27, 2018, 03:59:40 AM »
Thanks UM

Thunder - thank you. Sorry, I wasn’t saying I wouldn’t take the money (I will).  I was trying to get across to MIL that it wasn’t the money that I was after.  That’s not my focus.  I just want my W and marriage back.  But in the meantime I know I need to protect myself. I have so much going on at the moment and feeling tired, stressed and, frankly, somewhat lonely.  I can’t even begin to GAL atm until all this is sorted and I know where I stand. 

Hi Blue
No, that’s the point.  When W asked if I trusted her, I just couldn’t answer her.  Then she asked again, and I still couldn’t answer.  The plan is for MIL to lend W the money, and W gives me the money to buy the rest of my equity in this house.  Until that money is received though, I can’t complete on my new house (as I would technically own two houses and be liable for additional tax).  Yet more stress. 
I don’t know if OM is on holiday with W (I’m told she hasn’t posted anything on FB yet, which is suspicious).  As we’ve said, it might just be typical LBS paranoia on my part at the moment.  I hope so, but then again I thought that about W having a OM in the first place  :'(
“It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul”.

Offline Thunder

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Re: My second thread: A new home
« Reply #6 on: July 27, 2018, 04:09:35 AM »
Oh ok, I understand now.

I sure hope you can get some down time to relax with all you have going on.
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline The Moon’s a balloonTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: My second thread: A new home
« Reply #7 on: July 27, 2018, 08:23:48 AM »
Thank you Thunder.  A holiday right now would be nice.  It could be a while before I’m settled enough though.

We do have a holiday booked in October (booked pre BD).  It’s with MIL and SDIL as well as the girls.  W says she intends to go.  I suggested we should all go together (I could room with SDIL and her with MIL).  It’s the kind of thing that happens in a normal co-parenting situation. The girls would love it.   I don’t think W will go for it and I’ll quietly be removed from the holiday.   In that case, I may take myself off somewhere alone.  Go to an adult only resort and have a week of pampering and healing.    October seems a long way away yet though. 
“It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul”.

Offline The Moon’s a balloonTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: My second thread: A new home
« Reply #8 on: July 29, 2018, 02:25:36 AM »
Quick question, I’d be grateful for peoples views on.  W and the girls are back from holiday this afternoon.  Do I mention anything about the car keys (that’s she deliberately taken both sets so I can’t use the main car)?  Or do I just let it go? 

Also a spot of journaling. Any comments welcome tho.   MIL and SDIL went away for the weekend on Friday.  Even though W is back today, they asked me to keep an eye on their house on Saturday and left me a key (meaning that MIL must have known W had taken at least one car key with her, as our copy of their house key is on the same set as W’s car key).   I thought that was reassuring.  However, while I was around I saw that, on their calendar, my and W’s wedding anniversary has been crossed through.  I wasn’t expecting them to send a card, but to cross it out!  I was confused by that. 
“It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul”.

Online Rosetintedglasses

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Re: My second thread: A new home
« Reply #9 on: July 29, 2018, 04:55:42 AM »
Moon

Just catching up on your story as saw a great link you put in Broken Hearted’s thread.

FWIW, and I’ve only read this thread of yours, but I wouldn’t mention anything about taking both car keys. Get clever though and don’t get caught out again.

I think MIL will be confused so crossed off anniversary. That same sort of thing happened to me, it’s just hard for anyone to understand all this. That type of thing annoys me too but it’s unhelpful for your mind so just think forward to next year and maybe it won’t be crossed off, who knows.

Hope you get away in October, it’s a way off but by the time you get it sorted, organised and looked forward to, it’ll come round.

Rose 🌹
Married 15+ years with 2 children
BD1 - 2016
BD2 - 2017
BD3 - Sept 2019
MOW Mar 2016-Jan 2018
OW2 - Feb 2019, age 30
H left home Oct 2017 to stay with his parents
Bought a family Puppy mid 2018 - referred to as ‘P’

Link to advice by my mentor, Phoenix, on what to tell the children about H leaving - reply #33 (it had a glitch)
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9313.30

 

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