[Rising Phoenix]

I think it’s easier not to reply in case grief from ow. Everything for an easy life xx

[Ready2Transform]

 Or it can be that real vanisher, the ones that really vanish, don't care.

IDK, I feel if the vanisher was "meh" they could at least respond to messages.

Think about the people you backburner responding to, or completely blow off. That's how they feel about their longterm spouses now. If they don't have to do it, they won't.

[Nas]

 Or it can be that real vanisher, the ones that really vanish, don't care.

IDK, I feel if the vanisher was "meh" they could at least respond to messages.

Think about the people you backburner responding to, or completely blow off. That's how they feel about their longterm spouses now. If they don't have to do it, they won't.

That’s what I think. Complete apathy.

[Anjae]

Respond to messages? A real vanisher? With a real vanisher you will not know their phone number, e-mail, where they live, etc. There is no messages exchanging with a real vanisher. And why would there be? They vanish.

You are taking about on/off MLCers. However, the thing to understand, is that a MLCer wants to be left alone. And, lest get real, most people text too much and most messages aren't necessary.

I don't like texting and do it as little as possible. It is intrusive and annoying. I doubt I will ever be much of a texter and I certainly will not go back to post-BD type of texting, that was still reduced by most people levels.

Not sure if it is apathy. I can think of myself. It I want to be left alone, I want to be left alone. I don't want to be texted. Lets be real, most texting is useless. There were no mobiles and no texting when we go together with our MLCer. We didn't need texting nor to always be in contact like now and life worked fine.

[Nas]

 I’m talking about messaging them regarding finances or divorce or issues with children. They don’t reply to even the most important of messages.

The few times that there have been people in my life that I have felt completely apathetic to, where I don’t dislike them or hate them but just feel nothing about them at all, I would completely ignore them no matter what the messages. For as long as possible until I am forced to respond.

[Thunder]

Exactly Nas, even then just do it through a lawyer.

No need to contact them yourself.  If they choose to be a cowardly Vanisher, then treat them that way.
You don't contact me, I don't contact you.

Give them the same dignity they give you.

[Anjae]

I’m talking about messaging them regarding finances or divorce or issues with children. They don’t reply to even the most important of messages.

No, they dont. But even clingers do that thing of not responding regarding finances, divorce or issues with children. But if you have their phone, they aren't one of those vanisher that has vanished at BD, or at a point, never to be seen/heard again (until the day they resurface).

Mr J never changed his e-mail adress or mobile number. But he always refused to gave his landline number and home address. He has now moved again, either he and OW2 bought a flat in the capital or she did. No idea where he lives now. I know, and always knew, where he works at and his work phone number.

He does however, tended to reply to my e-mails if they were regarding things of mine he still has. Sending them is another matter, he send those journals he found early this years I didn't even remember he had, but not the things I have asked through the years.

Right now I can't be bothered to talk to him. But I may start to want things sorted out. This stupidity has been dragging for too long with barely any changes in sight. Yes, he now uses my name when he e-mail, yes, he restart going to concerts of bands/music genres he always liked. He has mostly gave up the electronic dance music clubs and parties, but it is all still too little to make any difference when it comes to fully sort things out.

I will have to think. And if I want to do something, I will ask my lawyer to talk to Mr J's lawyer.

Currently, I have a reason to talk to him if I want to, there will be an exhibition here and Mr J have many materials that belong to me that the curators would like to have. However, two of the curators know the wide picture and they are content in having the materials I have with me. Not sure why I don't want to e-mail or call him. The only reason I come up with is, can't be bothered and have better things to do then waste a second talking to him. 

The few times that there have been people in my life that I have felt completely apathetic to, where I don’t dislike them or hate them but just feel nothing about them at all, I would completely ignore them no matter what the messages. For as long as possible until I am forced to respond.

The few texts I get are usually "are you coming to dinner tonight" from mum or one of my siblings. Even if mostly they tend to phone or send a FB message. Most other people get in touch by e-mail and a few by Facebook.

I don't recall when was the last time I really need to directly talk to Mr J about divorce matters. It must have been when my lawyer wanted me to call Mr J and talk to him. It was years ago. October 2014 I said I would no longer bother with such matters and haven't since.

And if I could go back I would had never exchanged an e-mail or done a call to talks such matters. It would had been straight to a lawyer at BD and lawyers that took care of things.

Ready2 was lucky and end up being able to get a settlement from her husband. With Mr J it was all a waste of energy and time.

[Ready2Transform]

Ready2 was lucky and end up being able to get a settlement from her husband. With Mr J it was all a waste of energy and time.

Let me update quickly that it's not done yet. He's not gone back on anything, but my lawyer has dragged it out (not at my urging, just that he's being very lazy and difficult with me). We had one house issue left to settle with the mortgage company, and between the lawyers and everyone there, it's still in process. xH ramped up manic this week about it and still uses it as a constant source to contact about (sometimes monster - even though I've done nothing wrong, shocker - and sometimes as though we're partners). To this point, everything is still on tap to be calmly wrapped, but...popcorn still popping. LOL

[Anjae]

Oh, not done yet.  Thanks for explaining the current situation.

Ex-husband has been needing his dose of contact and drama a lot of late.  Phew.

[nah]

Hey Clanishers of the Vanishers...

What's going on?

My vanisher has been so damn quiet since we got married...
to other people. 

Well, when I say quiet, I mean to each other.

He's all yappy, yappy, to our mutual hairdresser, knowing that she tells me everything.  Telling her details of my wedding a day after it happened. 
As many know, I received an "apology" letter from a betrayer on his side.
Then another friend from his side also sent me a letter.

They all know my address, and about my wedding, details about my out-of-state job. 

When he was running, everyone wanted to know what he was doing/thinking,... they wanted him so bad in their lives that they hatched a plan to push me out.

Now that he's around, and I'm gone, now everybody wants to be all up in my business. 

Funny how things change.