Author Topic: My Story Don't know how I got here 4  (Read 2952 times)

Offline cowgirlslayerTopic starter

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My Story Re: Don't know how I got here 4
« Reply #90 on: February 21, 2019, 01:09:02 PM »
Thought things would be better but apparently my soon to be wants to continually screw up everything.

Let's sum up
Wants half retirement. Doesn't see the need for mediation. Now willing to "discuss".
He just got fired last week. Supposedly he has money to carry him for the next few months. It's everyone else's fault he got fired but his.
Has not made any effort to pay child support even with the order in place. Asked him today if he registered with the state to make payments. Of course the answer was no. I gave him the case number and asked him to please do so. Will he? It's anybody's guess.

My stress level is going through the roof. I am going through savings to survive and I hate it. He should be taking care of his daughter.

All I want to do right now is be free of him and live my best life.

Afraid that is not going to happen.
M-48
H-43
D-13
Married 18 years - together 20
BD - 7/17
ILYBINILWY - 7/17
Asked for Divorce - 9/17
Sold home and moved out  - 1/18
Divorced  - 5/19

Online Mortesbride

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Re: Don't know how I got here 4
« Reply #91 on: February 22, 2019, 02:41:55 AM »
Sounds to me like he is in lots of debt.

Not paying child support, and was in no rush to pay it...cuz he is in debt.

Suddenly chomping at the bit to get a hold of money he can use....to pay of his debt.

OW helicoptering over him because she can't trust him....for many reason, but could include he racks up more debt..

I dunno. That is what I would put my money on anyway.
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Offline cowgirlslayerTopic starter

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Re: Don't know how I got here 4
« Reply #92 on: February 22, 2019, 05:53:16 AM »
I have so much anger at him right now. You don't want me -fine. You don't want our family- fine. But do right by your kid. We fought to get her (she's adopted). We stood in court and promised to love her and take care of her forever. He seems to have forgotten that.

He has no clue what he has lost. D13 thinks he's a joke. She used to think he hung the moon and could do no wrong - Daddy's girl through and through.

I am at a loss of what do or say to him at this point. I am ashamed of him - never thought I'd say that. I'm embarrassed that I married such a weak man - someone not strong enough to face his demons and fight them head on.
M-48
H-43
D-13
Married 18 years - together 20
BD - 7/17
ILYBINILWY - 7/17
Asked for Divorce - 9/17
Sold home and moved out  - 1/18
Divorced  - 5/19

Offline cowgirlslayerTopic starter

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Re: Don't know how I got here 4
« Reply #93 on: February 22, 2019, 08:40:38 AM »
Just got word from H that he can't pay child support because he doesn't have a job.

Yeah - well you had a job for the last year and half and did nothing so big surprise there.

Starting to wonder if her "lost" his job on purpose just to get out of paying child support. The order went into effect 2/1/19 - he lost his job on 2/14.

Starting to think it was planned.
M-48
H-43
D-13
Married 18 years - together 20
BD - 7/17
ILYBINILWY - 7/17
Asked for Divorce - 9/17
Sold home and moved out  - 1/18
Divorced  - 5/19

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: Don't know how I got here 4
« Reply #94 on: February 22, 2019, 11:16:48 PM »
Not having a job at the moment may not release him from the court order.... And I'd guess he is working somewhere unless someone else is paying his bills
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline cowgirlslayerTopic starter

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Re: Don't know how I got here 4
« Reply #95 on: February 25, 2019, 06:28:08 AM »
You are right it won't release him - but they can't make him pay.

If he gets unemployment - they will garnish from that check. That's something.

Tramp is living with him so I assume she is footing the bills. I doubt she makes much though - seems like an uneducated bumpkin to me. we each pocketed 20,000 from the sell of our home a year ago. Assume they are living off of that. But he is saying her has no money.

I used mine to buy my mom an headstone for her grave(poor woman has been in an unmarked grave for 7 years) and pay off a credit card. The rest in savings but because he has offered nothing in child support -I have had to use it to help with the monthly bills.

Yet in all of this he still wants my retirement. Really......

Come on UM you have to have a GIF for that right?????
M-48
H-43
D-13
Married 18 years - together 20
BD - 7/17
ILYBINILWY - 7/17
Asked for Divorce - 9/17
Sold home and moved out  - 1/18
Divorced  - 5/19

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: Don't know how I got here 4
« Reply #96 on: February 25, 2019, 07:19:30 AM »
Yet in all of this he still wants my retirement. Really......

Come on UM you have to have a GIF for that right?????

Several actually..... ranging from



to



to



to



Take your pick.....
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline cowgirlslayerTopic starter

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Re: Don't know how I got here 4
« Reply #97 on: May 07, 2019, 10:05:57 AM »
Well her I am....

Its been a while since I posted. Don't really know what to say - guess I needed a break.

So it's official - I am divorced.
Went to court this AM and made it all official. XH ended up with some of one of my retirement plans but not 50% of all like he wanted. Of course - he says he was doing me a favor because he would have been give half. Whatever a**hat.

I about lost it when the attorney asked if the marriage was irrevocably broken with no chance of reconciliation. It is just so final. Also didn't help that it took place in the same courtroom as where the adoption hearing for D14 was held. It was a kick in the face for sure.

I called XH after hearing because he had asked a question about D14. I told him it was done and he was a free man. He said so you see it like that. I said I'm guessing you do. AND HERE IS THE KICKER -He said "You know I love you"

Really…..you can't make this crap up.

So what next? Don't have a clue.
M-48
H-43
D-13
Married 18 years - together 20
BD - 7/17
ILYBINILWY - 7/17
Asked for Divorce - 9/17
Sold home and moved out  - 1/18
Divorced  - 5/19

Online Mitzpah

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Re: Don't know how I got here 4
« Reply #98 on: May 07, 2019, 11:05:34 AM »
Cowgirlslayer,

I am sorry the day has come. ((((Hugs))))

Treat yourself kindly today and in the days to come - this is hard on you, however much it was expected.

How is your d14?
M 57
H 57
S 27
S 25
D 24
BD 13 Dec 2010
Divorced 27 Feb 2015 (30 years marriage)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11

Offline Treasur

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Re: Don't know how I got here 4
« Reply #99 on: May 07, 2019, 11:05:45 AM »
Yup, that's what happens with an MLC divorce  ::)
And bc MLC trumps divorce, strangely enough they will neither suddenly be a) happy or b) no longer bonkers....

I'm sorry. And not sorry. Sorry bc I know you didn't choose this and not sorry bc you needed to protect yourself and your daughter. By the time I got there I was just exhausted and wanted it all to go away, but be gentle with yourself too bc usually we all have some mixed emotions tbh.
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD)
No kids.
BD Oct 15. OW since Apr 16?
H filed Jan 17. Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.

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